S5E19: Why Forgiveness is the Shortcut to Everything You Want | Loretta Sharingroup
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect, welcome to perfect, where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything. Anything.
JClay:Anything. Anything. Anything. Perfect. Everything.
JClay:Anything. Anything. Anything. Perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Hey. Hey. Happy day.
JClay:Happy Sunday. Welcome to perfect mode. I am J Clay. As you can see, Troy is not with us today. He had some important things to do, coaching some some kids, that's probably winning the champion another championship right now.
JClay:I'm your host, Jay Clay, with with Loretta Loretta Sharing Group, who is a podcaster that that shares a lot of stories of NDEs and everything and and speaks of positivity. And it's also a QHHT past life regression hip hypnotist.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah. You got it. You got it. You got it.
JClay:Okay. Okay. Man, I'm I'm I'm on it. How are you doing today?
Loretta Sharingroup:Hi. Hey, everybody. Let's do it. Let's do it.
JClay:Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. You good? You good today?
JClay:Yeah. I'm I'm I'm good. I'm I'm ready to talk about this important, important, important topic, forgiveness. Why forgiveness is the shortcut to everything you want? We talk about it a lot on this show for a reason.
JClay:And I I want I want to get into it. I'm especially excited because me and you had some some dialogue about it before, and this is it's gonna be a good one. Yeah. So you you wanna you wanna kick it off talking about forgiveness? What what it is to you and what it isn't?
JClay:You know?
Loretta Sharingroup:You so under the title forgiveness isn't what you think it is. There is a, you know, there is a perspective about forgiveness that people hold that may be in error. So a lot of people feel like forgiveness is, you know, you did something so bad. I'm going to, you know, extend my wonderful high and mighty grace to you and forgive you. But the higher perspective is for and forgiveness is is attempting to understand, the divine timing and everything.
Loretta Sharingroup:Right? Yeah. And that we have played all the roles. But I do wanna start it out by giving Oprah's definition of forgiveness, which I actually like because a lot of us have been through very dense experiences. And her definition is forgiveness is accepting that it should not have happened any way differently than how it happened.
Loretta Sharingroup:And to me, that perspective allows because a lot of what keeps us locked up is the ego saying that shouldn't have happened. That shouldn't have gone down. And because of that, you can't really let it go. You hold it in your heart. Right?
Loretta Sharingroup:It's almost like having your fist clenched up constantly. And when you look at it like that, like, you know what? If that's how it went down, then on some level, I may not understand it, but on some level, that's how it was supposed to happen. As tragic, as sad, as disgusting as I feel that it was, it shouldn't have happened any way different because if it was supposed to happen any way different, it would have. And just releasing it, just, you know, giving almost like giving it to God.
Loretta Sharingroup:God, you got it, you know, And and then actually releasing ourselves, right, from that suffering because we do suffer when we don't forgive. So what you think, Jay? What you what you think?
JClay:I I love that definition of of acceptance, of of of because a lot a lot of healing starts with acceptance. Yeah. A lot of the times we're in denial or we're just we just won't even focus on it. We just won't even accept that it happened and acknowledge that it happened so that we can have the opportunity to move on. I I love that.
JClay:And also, I remember back in the day, I would think forgiveness meant just being the bigger person. You know, like, I'm I'm the bigger person. I'm better than you because I can forgive you. I'm I'm not gonna be slighted by this. Don't even matter that you did that.
JClay:I forgive you because I'm the bigger person.
Loretta Sharingroup:And that's the
JClay:farthest from where forgiveness really is. Like, that's just that's in service to the ego. And I I know that a lot of people feel that way and they push people away because of that, because they they've separated themselves by believing that they are better than the other person. So that that's that's one thing that forgiveness is not. What would you say to
Loretta Sharingroup:that? I hope I love that. That's that's actually yes. That's perfect. I love what you just said.
Loretta Sharingroup:That is the truth, and that is a lot that is a lot of our belief in what forgiveness is. Like, I'm so much better than you. I can extend you this forgiveness. And it is it is the ego's perspective of forgiveness.
JClay:Yeah. That that Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. For
JClay:yeah. Forgiveness is is special. So me and you both, we've read A Course in Miracles.
Loretta Sharingroup:Mhmm.
JClay:And for those that don't know, it's, it's it's it's said to be channeled by Jesus.
Loretta Sharingroup:Mhmm.
JClay:It's a course that teaches you how to experience miracles and the interconnectedness of everyone and just kinda redefine certain terms. And one thing that it says about forgiveness is, I'm I'm I'm gonna mess this up. See, I just set an intention for the wrong thing. Okay. I'm gonna get this right.
JClay:They say that forgiveness is not only acceptance, but it's realizing that the other person was never to blame. It it's more so that your perception of certain things is what's causing the discomfort, not necessarily their actions, but your perception of their actions and what it means to you and your I won't say allowing because that's not the right word, but kinda your your viewpoint in in seeing it from the egoic view versus tapping into that higher view to see if you can see it from a new perspective. Mhmm. Mhmm. Did I get it right?
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. You you did. Yeah. And and I and I fee I really encourage anyone because hearing that may sound very jarring. So, reading those portions of the course maybe to get the full depth and breadth of what that meant.
Loretta Sharingroup:Because as you were saying that, Jay, of again, you and I talked before we started. I was thinking of people. You know, people have had very traumatic things happen, but your perception can free you. So I agree your perception can and will free you. Yes.
Loretta Sharingroup:Oh, yeah. That is rooted in truth. Absolutely.
JClay:So let's let's you talk about it briefly about, like you said, it's like clenching your fist. Well, what is the high cost of holding on? Like, why why why is forgiveness so important? Because, like, couldn't I just go on with my life and say, I don't need to forgive nobody. I'm I'm me.
JClay:I'm good. I'm strong. I'm powerful.
Loretta Sharingroup:So the biggest thing, and it it so actually, when we don't forgive, we actually call it holding a grudge. Right? Holding a grudge. You're holding something. Right?
Loretta Sharingroup:And you, and you're holding it in your heart. Yeah. It's in you hold it in your heart. And so there is great consequence in not forgiving. It really is.
Loretta Sharingroup:And the consequence is to us. Right? So, if we don't forgive so we are mind, body, and spirit. We're all one. Right?
Loretta Sharingroup:We've been taught to think things are separate. Like I could be mad at Jay, but I can, you know, be friends with Betty or Dania or my mama or whatever. But honestly we, we are not compartmentalized like that. So if I have a grudge, if I hold a grudge against one poor person, there is a part of my heart that is closed off and it impacts the way we see the world. It it impacts our energy system.
Loretta Sharingroup:It it is not, it's not healthy. It hurt. It definitely hurt it. I've heard it. I've heard people say many times, forgiveness is for you.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's not for the other person. It really is for you. Yeah. What what do you say about that, Jack?
JClay:So I I I love what you said about, like, it's it's a it's a hole in your heart. You you like you said, it's called holding a girl. It's like you're holding on to something. And it made me think of okay. When we when we think we think we think we think within, but our our perception or our thought is nothing is separate from it that we experience because we're all seen from our perception.
JClay:So anything we look out on, we have some kind of intellectual connection to. Mhmm. And so I was thinking the same thing about the heart when you say what you said. Like, you have a emotional connection to everything. Like, your heart is is where you feel from.
JClay:Mhmm. And if anything muddies that at all, it muddies that whole perception out. So so like you said, no one is exempt. Like like, you know, parents love their kids. They might go off on their kids for no reason.
JClay:You know, people might go off on those closest to them because they're holding a grudge about something farthest from them. But they're they're bringing it together, and it's it's making everything dark. Like, it it's not, not only their life, but the lives of others. Assuming, assuming their perception of you in that, in, in your role in their life.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Jade, did you just feel some like spring water go down your throat just now when you were talking?
JClay:No.
Loretta Sharingroup:Wait. Hold on. Hold on. What about now?
JClay:No. I I didn't I didn't feel nothing.
Loretta Sharingroup:You didn't feel sensations of cold spring water going down your throat?
JClay:Nah.
Loretta Sharingroup:No. So that is an example of what somebody experiences when we are holding a grudge and we don't forgive. I drink spring water, but it's as if someone else is drinking poison and wanting the other person to fall ill or whatever.
JClay:Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:I only experienced what my vibration allowed, which was to, to be hydrated. It had no impact on Jay, but when we hold a grudge, that is that it's like a, that's the belief system. If I'm mad at, if I stay mad at this person long enough, they're going to suffer. They, they don't people go and live their best life. And it's you that it's at, that is ultimately being harmed.
JClay:Yeah.
JClay:Yeah.
JClay:So I love that, and I want to go deeper into it because, you know, like I'm a visual sometimes I'm a visual learner, but I like to just visualize that. Like like it's like you said, it's like me drinking poison and expecting you to be. Change affected by it. Mhmm. And so I know, like like some yeah.
JClay:I remember sometimes when I've been in rooms with people I haven't forgiven yet. And no matter how great of a day I'm having, I see them and it's like, forget this day. Like, I can't believe they showed up or like, let's fight or, you know, some any any crazy thoughts come in mind. So my day is messed up just because of their presence. And it's like, why even give them that much power If I say I don't like that person, you know, I'm saying I don't like that person, but I'm giving them all the power in the world to mess up my day to to give me poison.
JClay:And I love that analogy because, yeah, that's exactly what it is. You're steady drinking the poison like, oh, I hate this person. I hate that. They're not even thinking about you. They probably they probably didn't even realize they they hurt your feelings or they did, and maybe they they moved on or or maybe they're going through it too.
JClay:Who knows?
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. But
JClay:that's a that's a powerful analogy.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. That that is so true. That you know what? I always say that's an indication because forgive this is such a layered, which, you know, sometimes it's like, oh, it's such a layered process. Right?
Loretta Sharingroup:So that what you just referenced, Jay, is is an indication. I think that's an indication of whether or not you have forgiven. Like, when you see that person, what comes up in you? Right? If if when you see that person, if you're like, so and so gonna be there, you know, then it's like, oh, well, okay.
Loretta Sharingroup:I got a little bit more forgiveness work to do because it's, you know, those low vibrations are are coming up in me. So, yeah, that's so that's so true. I did wanna make the point, though, that, you know, everybody forgives in their own time. You know? Sometimes something occurs, and then you're under this pressure.
Loretta Sharingroup:I gotta forgive. I gotta forgive. Sometimes that forgiveness takes you processing what occurred. What has happened and what is in this for me? Why did I, on some level, was a match for this kind of experience?
Loretta Sharingroup:What is here for me to learn, with this occurring? And then once you see, you know, your gift, I call it your gift, from that experience and process it, then you can get to a point where you can say, okay. You know, I you know what? I get the I get the point part that you played in this scenario to help me show myself this area, where I can grow and evolve. But it again, it takes time.
Loretta Sharingroup:And so sometimes it's it's tough when we feel rushed. You know, like, I gotta on top of whatever occurred, I gotta, like, forgive. I gotta it it you know, it's a process. It's a process. Sometimes it's fast.
Loretta Sharingroup:Sometimes it you know, it takes time.
JClay:I love that. And I'm curious to to anyone watching real quick. Like, do y'all find it hard to forgive? Like, just type yes or no real quick. Just curious.
JClay:What what I love about what you said is it's a level of maturity because you're taking responsibility for it. Like, yeah, everyone is not willing to look at themselves to see, could I have brought this on myself? And this is not to bash the victim. It's to show that you have more power in your experience than you otherwise realize. And because you have that power, you can now use it to enforce the reality that you want to live in.
JClay:And I I kinda I kinda wanna go back to what you were saying about, it's a good test for, like, where you are with forgiveness. Mhmm. Because I agree. Like like, sometimes people that I I've actually forgiven when they come back up, I forgot that. Oh, snap.
JClay:I used to have a grudge with them. Like, yes. I made it. I passed the test. Like, I I they're not even in my my mind anymore.
JClay:And it really is freeing because you can you can you can experience joy and pain at the same time.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah.
JClay:Like it is one is so impossible to do. I've even tried it before when I was in pain, like, I can't feel joy. Let me switch to joy. I can't feel pain now. Like, it it it it like you said, it's not always that easy.
JClay:But just knowing that it's possible, it changes again, it changes everything because you have something to to set forth for instead of just accepting the worst all the time. Like, you don't have to accept it. You can get to a point where nothing bothers you. But but not only that, nothing bothers you. You're not put in a situation where anything can bother you.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah. That's powerful. And that is a place to strive to to where nothing bothers you, anymore. And and, you know, speaking of forgiveness is always, you know, it's it's such a myriad of experiences that we've all had.
Loretta Sharingroup:Right? You know, some of us have had experiences as children. Right? And so it's like, okay. Where, you know, where where does that conversation come from in terms of, a lesson, right, at 2 years old or whatever?
Loretta Sharingroup:And though and those are layered conversations to really have within yourself and with your relationship with God. But as we do grow older and we're able to start unpacking those things, you can begin to get to a point where, you're able to work through your chip triggers, right, and recognize, okay, why wasn't a trigger and work through that. And then kind of we're we're removing the blocks to love. That's what I say. We're removing the blocks to love.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah.
JClay:So to that, you brought you said you said some keywords there. You said unpacking and removing, which kind of lets it lets me know, is how much we hold on to, how much we gather and keep. So, yeah, so we've had all these experiences, you know, growing up, and we keep them. We we hold them. We and we travel with them.
JClay:One one thing that I noticed, like, if you see someone who people will see it say is affluent, successful, they might not even carry their ID. You know, they might just go around, like, have no cash, no credit card. They're just free. But then you might see a homeless person carrying a cart, carrying all their things everywhere, wanting to hold on to everything, not letting anybody get something that might not even be worth that much. But in in their eyes, because they they're willing to hold on to it, it's worth everything.
JClay:And it stops them from having access to what they really what they truly want, what they they truly enjoy. And so I say that to say that, like, you brought up childhood experience that that someone might have. And I have read something recently, where they talked about that they said, you know, kids look to those around them on how to be a human. You know, how to how to live life. And even the unspoken gets recorded.
JClay:It gets said. I mean, it it gets, you know, mirrored. So they're like, okay. So this is how to be a person. I need to maybe carry this.
JClay:I need to attract certain things. You know, kids can see we all can see things that we don't know that we can see, but we're affected by it. And so they might bring these things into their awareness unknowingly because those that they are around have this this energy about them like that. And so and and again, this is not to to place blame on anyone, but it it gets to show you that your energy can affect those around you. So the the more that you can choose the higher vibration, the more easier it is for everyone around you too.
JClay:Whereas nobody has to experience these things that are not aligned with what they want. Mhmm.
Loretta Sharingroup:I so I feel like that can be, an oversimplistic way of of explaining it. And and we either who know? I mean, it's all of it. Right? All of it is possible.
Loretta Sharingroup:All of it is here. I think I think the biggest thing is recognizing, like you said, our power and recognizing if it if it happened, there's a part of me, like you said, that so I I I gotta talk about this, about us before we're born. We agree to certain things, right? Before we're, we're born, there are certain things that we say, you know what, because you know, on the other side, we are just, you know, we really are in the energy of the divine. There is no ego.
Loretta Sharingroup:There is no limitations. And so just, that's what I love about spirituality is you are able to recognize, dang, if I was, if I signed on to this, that must mean I'm really a powerful being. And so, real quick, Jade, just because we can show the audience that we have a grounded experience. I definitely experienced, you know, long term financial, emotional, you know, abuse to the point where I wanted to die. And in my mind, when I wanted to die, that person who was doing that was a monster, and I was a victim.
Loretta Sharingroup:And when I changed my perspective, when I realized I could have asked this dude to do this, like, I really could have on the other side. I really could have asked this dude to be a butthole, to push me into the light so that I can be that which I am, so that I can accomplish the goals that I wanted to accomplish. And so, I just want to encourage everyone to, to kind of think about that a little bit. The divine being that you are, you are not your body as Jay and Troy talk about a lot on this platform. We are not our bodies.
Loretta Sharingroup:We're not our experiences and we're not our thoughts. You are a powerful being. You are a and the and the more dense your experiences have been, especially things that we experienced as children, that's the most powerful that you are. That's to the degree your power. Stepping into that space will change your life because then you'll say, I am the orchestrator of my life.
Loretta Sharingroup:I'm the orchestrator on some level because I'm a divine being. I'm a orchestrator of my life. And so that is the that is the only thing that freed me. That's the only thing that freed me. It wasn't any, you know, what it was, it was really the recognition of who we are.
Loretta Sharingroup:So I just think sometimes it's important to talk about that with you on the conversation. What's your point, Jay? What you think?
JClay:No. I I I love that you brought that up, and I I wanna ask you some more about that, because I I agree. Like, that that is the way that that recognizing of our power. Like, it it really frees us, and it it shows us that we can forgive every everything, anything. And that those experiences have led us to be who we are today.
JClay:But what I wanna ask you for those that are watching, they they could they could be in the in the throes of it right now where they're experiencing some form of abuse and they're, like, changed my perspective. How I can't just I can't just change my perspective. They did this to me. Like, can you talk about how you got to that point? What was it easy?
JClay:Was it a long road? Was it a medium road? You know, like, if you had to quantify how you got from there to here.
Loretta Sharingroup:So thank you for that question. Yeah. You know what? So many things y'all. First of all, anybody who's looking at this show, y'all already there.
Loretta Sharingroup:You are already in alignment with very high vibrational teachings and high vibrational energy. Y'all are already there. Changing your perspective is just understanding that you are not a victim. You're you're if you could just step into that space of saying I am not a victim of of my experience. I am a orchestrator of my life.
Loretta Sharingroup:I assigned this person that role. I don't know why my crazy self woulda did that, but I assigned them this role. And the person who did that, who did the most to me, was actually the most loving person because they had to lower their vibration in order to play this role for me because we are all love and light y'all. That is really a true essence of who we are, and so we literally okay. Everybody look up when you can the soul, the the little soul, and the sun.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's a children's parable from, Donald Neil Walsh, the author of Conversations with God, powerful books y'all, but there is a pair a children's parable of the little soul and the sun, and it speaks of a soul who was like hype, like, oh my God, I am light. I'm light y'all. How do I know who I am though? Cause everybody else is like, like, what's up? What we going through?
Loretta Sharingroup:I need, I need to learn some stuff. And God is like, well, I mean, you know, everybody's like here and like, oh, well, I just, I want to experience myself as forgiveness. I want to experience that, which I am. And God is like, kind of everybody is, you know, love and light. And so the soul had to find another soul to accommodate him in order to demonstrate itself as forgiveness.
Loretta Sharingroup:And a lot of souls was like, yo, I can't, man. I can't you know, I love you. I can't do that. And he he finally found a soul to say, I'll play that role. I'll play that role for you.
Loretta Sharingroup:I will smite you. I will play that role for you, but you have to remember that you asked me to do it. And a little soul was like, I'll remember. I'll remember. So this is the point, everyone where you remember.
Loretta Sharingroup:I might have asked this per I know with my ex husband, he actually approached me during the during the planning session for these lifetimes and asked me if I could help him, but I understood that he was working out a whole lot of chaos and that his chaos would be very painful, but that it would push me into into my purpose. If it were not with for him, I think it would have maybe taken me a little longer to get where I am. So when we look at it like that, and that's the truth, y'all, I will not do, I don't blow smoke, but look at, look, listen, look at that, that parable, read that parable. But, yeah, that's how you that's how you begin the process of changing your perspective.
JClay:Man. So you said something that that really affected me that I I didn't I didn't even realize. You said they love you so much that they're willing to lower their vibration. Yeah. Now Yeah.
JClay:This is why this is significant. Because, you know, I've read stuff, heard stuff where, like, god is not gonna lower his vibration, like, the the divine spirit. Because, I mean, it would it would destroy everything, of course, but with lower its vibration to maybe to come down to to that level, so to speak. But, you know, we all have moments of joy. We all have moments of of passion, like, when we shoot up real quick and we get to experience that where we we match God's frequency for a second, and we we get to to have a inkling of it to bring back with us to allow us to, you know, climb higher heights.
JClay:And I sound as to say, though, that, like, since I've accepted more of of my light and love, I'm not really willing to go down to the lower depths anymore. Yeah. Absolutely. Right. Because I really feel it's not worth it for those around me too, because they can they can see an example of, okay, I could I could do that.
JClay:I could be like that just as I'm looking to others in the same way, like, oh, yeah. I can I can be that happy? I could be that joyful. And so to that that takes on a new meaning of why is this happening to me? Why are these people doing this to me?
JClay:Like, it's because they love you so much.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah.
JClay:So much that they're that they're willing to go through this chaos, to make sure that you reach where you're supposed to reach, that you that you overcome all of this. And wow. Thank you for saying that. That's that's
Loretta Sharingroup:Like, I'm literally getting the chills, like, full body chills right now, y'all. I'm getting a full body chills. Understanding that truth is incredibly healing, y'all. It's I'm telling you, it's incredibly healing. Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Absolutely. And like you said, you wouldn't wanna lower your vibration because there's nothing down there for us. I actually came to a conclusion that we are when we are in a very low vibration, we lose our more more and more of our personal power. We just lose so much of our personal power, because the light holds the information. The love is the power.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. But it's a that's a I'm telling you, anybody who's listening to this and this you're feeling something, definitely research that. There's something there for you because, forgiveness is critical. Right? It it it really is.
Loretta Sharingroup:Like you said, you see a person that's like, you don't wanna feel that in your heart. You know? I wanted to, make the point that forgiveness may not look the same to everybody. Some people feel like forgiveness looks like we gotta be best friends. Forgiveness doesn't look the same to everybody, and and Jade actually might disagree.
Loretta Sharingroup:Forgiveness from me so there's someone that I had, you know, an issue with. And so and it's and it's hard to assess. Have I really forgiven this person? Am I really is my heart really clear of that blockage? Because that's what it is.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's a block to love. And, I was, you know, praying, right, one night, and and and I started praying for this person. And I was just crying. And I really was advocating for them to god. Like, god, they don't know.
Loretta Sharingroup:Like, teach them. You know? Help them. They they don't know. And I'm crying, and and I was so grateful for that prayer and the fact that it was so heartfelt because that was validation for me.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yes. You have forgiven them. Now the reason why I say it may look different for everybody is that somebody and Jay about to disagree. We talked about this. Is that somebody I wanna welcome back into my energy, into my, space?
Loretta Sharingroup:Not necessarily. Have they learned their lessons? Are they gonna do it again? Because guess what? I love myself too.
Loretta Sharingroup:I love them, and I love myself. So, you know, forgiveness may not look like, oh, you can come back come back in my house. Come back. Well, let's hang out again. Let's be best friends.
Loretta Sharingroup:But if you pray for somebody, that is a good barometer, y'all. If you pray for somebody and it's sincere and it's heartfelt, you have forgiven them. You see them from the higher perspective because you cannot pray for someone and you don't love them on a certain level. So but what you gotta say, Jane? What you gotta say?
JClay:So it's a few things. Okay. So so first, let's go back to, we spoke about I I spoke about how, like, you have a connection, a mental connection with everything you see goes through the filter of your mind. Everything you feel goes through the filter of your heart. So nothing is exempt from it.
JClay:It's it's all total from your perspective. Unless you change what you experience won't change because it's all like it it there's no separation. And so with that, I I kinda wanted to talk about prayer too. So it's funny that you went into prayer and speaking about all of this because there there are a couple forms of prayer. Like, one is asking.
JClay:Like, you're you're you're straight up asking, but there's an other half to that of the belief, the belief in what you ask for. So but there there are no limits on what you could ask for and what you believe. Well, you might put a limit on yourself on what you believe is possible, but at the same time, you believe that God is infinite. So, you know, there is no limit. And so with that, let's say someone you haven't forgiven.
JClay:If you were to start to visualize them in light and love and just divine, divine light, you would really start to see them in that light. It because, again, it's no separation from
JClay:it.
JClay:You would see them. And then the more you do it, is more and more light that they have. The more and and the more and more light that you have that they have in your eyes, the more connected you feel to them. The the more forgiving you can be, the easier you can be more forgiving. But also you would bring forth a version of them that's to your light.
JClay:And that that's the that's the one hidden thing that, everyone doesn't realize. So, like, you have forgave have forgiven, you know, these people that you you spoke spoken of, but there's just another level. Now it it it it doesn't mean that you have to achieve that level. You could be perfectly content, happy being how you are. Just know again that there's another level because you like you said, everyone came from light and love, and they might be covering it up.
JClay:But they might be covering it up because we're treating them like someone that they should cover it up. So that's all they can be to us because we define them as that. We said, hey. You're this type of person. That's all you're gonna ever be.
JClay:But once you change your mind about that person well enough and and, again, this is how do I say this? The work to do this is easy because it's easy to close your your eyes and visualize, but it's hard at the same time because your ego is like, I can't forgive this per I can't no. I'm not I don't wanna see this person in love and light. This person should be in trash and dirt and poverty and just whatever. And and but but even in that, like, it shows you that you're holding on to the idea of poverty and that is a bad thing.
JClay:You're holding on to idea of dirt. That is a bad thing. I'm not saying you. I'm just giving an example in general. So it is the the important thing of of all of this is there's no separation in your thought.
JClay:But go ahead.
Loretta Sharingroup:I love what you just said, Jane. I love what you just said. I, yeah. I actually think it's another version of what I was talking about with praying, and I and I love visualizing that person standing in light because it is who they are. It is who they are.
Loretta Sharingroup:So thank you for that. That's that's beautiful wisdom, visualizing them in light. That's cool. And it is true. Like, you're right.
Loretta Sharingroup:If you see them as light enough, then maybe their interactions with you will be in light. Right? Nice.
JClay:Yeah. And I've seen it all the time when people's interactions work nice with me. And it was like, dang, I'm I'm seeing them like that and I'm perpetuating it by keeping them in that. And as soon as I as soon as I take the little time to see them in love and light, it all changes. And I'm like, why why do I do this to myself?
JClay:Why?
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah.
JClay:It's it's it's very powerful. And so one thing that I I wanna go into this that's the most important about this, and we kinda touched on it without touching on it, is forgiving yourself.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yes. Yeah.
JClay:Go ahead.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. I think that's really actually the toughest. Right? It's always toughest, I think I think, to forgive ourselves. And I've even noticed if I'm if I'm angry if I feel angry towards someone, when I unpack it enough, it's like, you know, Loretta, you really feel the same way about yourself.
Loretta Sharingroup:Like you know? And not on and, you know, that's definitely ego because ego will say, why did it take you this long to see see this, what they were doing? Or why would you date a dude that would treat you like that? Or, you know, whatever whatever the ego tells us. So underneath that that anger and that grudge toward that person, if you unpack it enough, you may find anger toward yourself.
Loretta Sharingroup:Right? And so you're right. Forgiving yourself, the process of forgiving yourself, self love is important. What do you have to say, Jay, about forgiving yourself? Like, what are the some steps that we could go through to do that?
JClay:Yeah. So one, you you touched on it. When you were saying how how do I say this? Well, okay. Oh, let let me say this.
JClay:Let me let me let me switch gears for a second. A lot of times, we can be so hard on ourself that we're hard on ourself for being hard on ourself. Mhmm. And, like, even this, like, when I first came into the awareness of forgiveness and how powerful it is. And then I started to conceptualize it, like, oh, that does make sense.
JClay:I started to be hard on myself for not forgiving sooner. Like, why didn't I do this before? And in doing that, I was creating more unforgiveness with myself. I was I was holding on to guilt and things of that nature that that shouldn't be held on to. And and again, like, it's a it's a slippery slope because you're you're you're learning about forgiveness trying to get away from it, but you're embodying the opposite and you're putting more and more of it on yourself.
JClay:And so it's important to realize, like, how we talked about the the unpacking, the letting go that even that even this right now that you're learning, even though you didn't do it before, let that go. Like like, don't don't hold on to this that you don't want so that you have to carry it all over because it makes you heavy instead of light. And we we wanna be that light. And so one of the one of the first steps I would say is even if you're not ready to let go, not adding to your burden. Like, don't don't add any more to your burden.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah. That self talk is very, critical. What you were saying, well, you should have forgave given earlier. I I I there's there's a belief that I have about how we should treat ourselves.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's an analogy that I use is to treat ourselves as if we would a baby. Right? If we see a baby struggling to walk and it falls down, we wouldn't say, what? I can't believe you still falling down. Like, I can't believe you ain't got this together yet.
Loretta Sharingroup:We wouldn't say that. We'll be like, you can do it. You can go. Come on, baby. Get the camera get the camera, baby.
Loretta Sharingroup:They about to walk. You know? And then once they start taking a couple steps, we call in the whole neighborhood. We call in our family and kissing and hugging, and that's the same way we should treat ourselves. We are innocent, y'all.
Loretta Sharingroup:We are really. This is a course in miracles but it's really who we are we're really in heaven with god we have not changed we are as god created us we're here for experience we're playing roles Right? We have these costumes, and we're playing roles. And we you know, I always say we're bored on the other side because we just wanna keep coming here and doing stuff, you know, making mistakes to learn and and and and, acquire more knowledge and be more and more, you know, like source. But this is why why we're here is to not get everything right the first time.
Loretta Sharingroup:Right? To be patient with ourselves. And and when we get that, where we're patient with ourselves, where we fiercely love ourselves, then we will find that it is easier and easier to love and forgive others. That's that love that is within us is able to extend out because we're all one, right? But to the degree that we judge ourselves is to the degree that we judge others.
Loretta Sharingroup:Most people who are very judgmental, you will find they're very critical and judgmental of themselves. So, it's important to like you know, we we are embarking on a lot when we come when we put the we're these bodies, we come on this planet. You know? This could be a rough place. Real talk.
Loretta Sharingroup:It could be a rough place. We're doing the best we can. We have to give ourselves and others grace. We have to give grace. That's why if we had it all together, we'd be in heaven one of the spirit guides, you know, guiding from heaven.
Loretta Sharingroup:Some of us come that kinda just help everybody, but most of us, we need to be here because we still there's something we still want to experience. As spirit, we may already know it, but we wanna experience it here. But I just want everybody to know, everybody who's listening to know that you are on one of the toughest school houses. Earth is a one of the toughest school houses y'all in the entire universe. So give yourself grace and recognize your courage for being here.
Loretta Sharingroup:Recognize your courage for being here.
JClay:Yeah. I I love all of that. And I I I wanna speak about the baby analogy first, because I I I totally agree with that. Like, when we were learning how to walk from from our side of it and we fail, we didn't think, oh, I'm never gonna walk. I'm I'm not gonna do this no more.
JClay:Like, I'm never gonna walk again. I'm never gonna try again because I'm just gonna fall. That's crazy. But that that's that's how we are as adults now with certain things. We're we're not willing to give ourselves that grace.
JClay:And maybe it's because, you know, we don't have the constant encouragement, like, we once had from all those around us. But like you said, we we should treat ourselves that we should encourage ourselves. Like, yeah, I'm I'm a fall. I don't care. I'm I'm a fall again probably, but I'm I'm a keep walking.
JClay:And, and shout out to my sister who's watching from Instagram. She said, it's hard to forgive ourselves. It's hard, to forgive yourself for staying in bad situations that you should have left long ago, not ready to forgive them until I forgive myself first. And and I know Loretta, you kind of just spoke on that as well. And something that I say to Troy all the time when we talk, whenever I learn something new, just anything, anything at all, like, not dealing with forgiveness or just something different.
JClay:And it makes sense. It's like, I should have did this from the start. And and and again, like how we talked about is a slippery slope. I nix all of that. I just say, you know what, I'm gonna do it from now on.
JClay:Now that I get it, I'm gonna do it from now on. And accept that you you can't do what you don't know about. You know, you you you can't you put in this situation so that you can know about it from a new perspective. But once you know, like, don't you don't have to sit in it unless you want to. And forgiveness is a is a great key to unlock all of that.
Loretta Sharingroup:Read her comment again. I just wanna hear it again because I can't see it on the screen.
JClay:Okay. It's hard yeah. Because I I can't share the Instagram on the on the line. But it says, it's hard to forgive ourselves. It's hard to forgive yourself for staying in bad situations that you should have left long ago.
JClay:Not ready to forgive them until I forgive myself first.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. That I love. Oh, I'm getting the chills. I love that you said that, sis. I love that you said that.
Loretta Sharingroup:That is so important. Yeah. When we are in okay. So I don't even know if you were talking about romantic relationships. But romantic relationships y'all are the biggest teacher for us.
Loretta Sharingroup:They touch places that nobody else is able to impact. Right? And the one of the most I feel like I used to work at a women's shelter, for women who were, you know, abused by their partners and men, actually. But one of the most damaging things that somebody can ask is, well, why did you say? I just feel like that's one of I'm sorry.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's one of the most ignorant questions that somebody can ask. And if somebody's asking a question like that, they have not been in a position like that. Dealing with toxicity in the in the area of a romantic relationship is such a layered learning experience. And but it you're able to grow in so many beautiful ways. So, yeah, be patient.
Loretta Sharingroup:Don't ask why did it take me so long? A lot of times when when people are in in situations like that, number 1, the first thing a person may do if they have the intention of controlling another person, take control of the finances, wanna isolate, love listen. It's a whole process. Seems like it's a memo that all the people got who so who wanna be that play that role. It's a memo.
Loretta Sharingroup:Okay. So I need to, I need to, love bomb them. Okay. Then I need to isolate them from their family. Okay.
Loretta Sharingroup:And then I need to you know, there's a whole checklist that they go through, and it's very difficult to recognize it. But then after you recognize it, it takes a while to free yourself. There's so many attachment levels of attachments in a situation like that. I, I think I went through, like, I went to, 3 or 4 different attorneys at 3 or 4 different times for me to finally file for divorce with my ex husband. You go, you get scared.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's something new. They they apologize or whatever whatever it is. It could be emotional abuse. It could be whatever, but it takes they said it takes about 7 times for a person to finally pull go through and pull through and say, I'm done. Deuces.
Loretta Sharingroup:Peace. I'm done. I'm not doing this. So we have to make sure we are patient with ourselves in in in in situations. And just the again, you gotta extend yourself that love.
Loretta Sharingroup:The last thing you need is an additional person to beat up on you. And and that and it's usually that self talk that's beaten up on you. Don't do it. You we are courageous beings for being here. Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Thank you for that comment. That's beautiful.
JClay:Thank you for that response. And I I too wanna circle back to something you said earlier about to everyone watching, that to be here, just to be here, like you've already changed your situation because we are choosing to be of high vibration. And because of that, like, like attracts like. And so there's no way you can experience us unless there's a part of you that is high vibration. And to to always remember that as well, that, okay, well, yeah, it's not it's it's not as bad as I might think that it is.
JClay:It can seem bad from that from a current perspective. But but like you said, like, be be easy on yourself. Like, give give yourself that grace. Treat yourself like a like a little child. That that's one thing I'm gonna take from this because that's that's so true.
JClay:And I and I know this, but I I forget it sometimes.
Loretta Sharingroup:Don't and don't curse the darkness. Y'all I'm a tell you something. If it were not for the stuff that we go through, that's where the wisdom comes from. That's where the character comes from. That's where the compassion comes from.
Loretta Sharingroup:That's where the power comes from. I'm telling you. It's those it's the dark. Don't curse the dark. It's painful.
Loretta Sharingroup:It is painful, but I'm a tell you something. If you're going through something, your story ain't over. You are going to be a blessing to yourself and to others. I'm telling you. I'm telling you.
Loretta Sharingroup:You're gonna be a blessing.
JClay:I'm, I'm using that. I'm I'm taking that. If your story ain't over. I mean, if you go if you go through something, your story ain't over.
Loretta Sharingroup:The story ain't over.
JClay:Yes.
Loretta Sharingroup:Real. Yeah. I, I want it before we close out. I know it's getting late. I wanna reference Robert Schwartz's books, your soul's journey.
Loretta Sharingroup:He has a few of them. Robert Schwartz, his last name is s c h w a r t z. It's one of the books that really, really freed me from that victim consciousness. And he just talked about the different life challenges that we agreed on before we decided to incarnate. Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. And it I mean, when you see, like, we are able actually able to read people's pre birth planning, sessions. It's so powerful, y'all. It is so powerful. But, yeah, we we're divine beings.
Loretta Sharingroup:We are divine beings. There are so many layers to us. So, yeah, I just wanted to reference that.
JClay:And just to segue, through that. So y'all Loretta is a podcaster. This is her channel. And not only does she speak to people that had near death experiences and spiritual experiences, but you've also talked to some people that had pre birth planning that remember their pre birth planning experiences and that that can actually take you through it where you where you can visualize it to. Like, wow, that makes so much sense.
JClay:I can see that happening and it opens you up to to what you thought was possible. And when you just know new things are possible, you really understand that everything is possible. Even you coming out of your situation unscathed, so to speak.
JClay:Yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah. I love spirituality. To me, it gets us in touch. You know, I love religion as well.
Loretta Sharingroup:All my all roads lead to the mountain. But what I love about spirituality is instead of attributing beautiful traits, such as goodness and love and light, instead of always attributing it to somebody outside of ourselves, spirituality helps us to recognize that love and light with, within us, how layered we are. And it's so it's so fun. Y'all It's so fun just to know who we are. It's it's it's I love it.
JClay:I love that you said that because, again, like, when I when I was at the wall looking at, okay, am I gonna cross over to the spiritual path or I'm gonna stay where I'm at? I thought it was going to be boring. I thought that I was going to have to be this strict person that couldn't have fun. And it's the farthest from that. Like, it's it's it's opened my my mind, my eyes to so many new experiences.
JClay:And yeah, I'm I'm glad you said that.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. Yeah. This is awesome.
JClay:So, yeah. So thank y'all again, everybody that that rock with us today on this special Sunday, about forgiveness and and and letting it be the shortcut to everything you ever wanted.
JClay:Yeah.
JClay:Just if if you find this helpful, like, subscribe, hit the share button, share with somebody that you think would would benefit from this. And thank you, Loretta, for for being here, filling in for Troy. We're definitely going to have you back on more, not just when Troy isn't here, but just, in general. And is there anything else you want to say before
Loretta Sharingroup:we go? I think I see a comment. I think it's from your dad.
JClay:Oh, yeah.
Loretta Sharingroup:Do you see it?
JClay:Yeah. Shout out to my dad. He said, I believe that we are spiritual beings going through human experience for the purpose of growth and development. We are learning to be that which we already are.
Loretta Sharingroup:Oh, oh, Oh. I love it. I love it. Yes. Absolutely.
Loretta Sharingroup:Yeah. I love that. Yes. And even that perspective right there that you shared is is the that's it. That's what we've been taught.
Loretta Sharingroup:It's the truth of who we are. Right? And if a person who really understands that, it's hard for them to see themselves as a victim. Yeah. I love it.
Loretta Sharingroup:I love it. So I see where you get it from, Jay. I see where you get it from. Okay.
JClay:Alright. Well, yeah. Appreciate y'all again. And just remember, your perfect creation made by a perfect creator. So you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode.
JClay:If I reminded you
JClay:that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to perfect to expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, and spiritual teacher. With my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor, let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
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