S5E20: What to Do When Life Keeps Sidelining You
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect welcome to perfect where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Let's be perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:What up? What up? Welcome to perfect mode. And first off, let me start by telling you that we love y'all. We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere sharing our thoughts, hopefully, and helping you realize that you are perfect.
Troy Washington:And the reason why I can say that unapologetically is because I know you are 1 of 1 numero uno. You cannot be duplicated, replicated. And the only reason, and I mean the only reason you would think that you're not perfect is looking at this person next to you and saying, I'm not them. But guess what? You are you, and that's all you knew need.
Troy Washington:And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. And I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher. And we're about to jump on here and talk about what to do when life keeps sidelining you. What up, Jay?
JClay:What's up? Happy Sunday on this cold Sunday day. Well, I'm locked in the house right now. It's all good. It's all good.
JClay:Happy day. It's perfect day. It's perfect time. Perfect weather. You know, we can go and say that it's the perfect weather for the perfect time.
JClay:You're perfectly here because, you know, it's just that time. It's everything is perfect time and divine timing. I'm ready to talk about this topic to get into what to do when life keeps sidelining you. Oh, and I I will say to, click that link that's in the description to subscribe. Just subscribe, significant episode, get all the updates, audit.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:Yeah. And share it. You know, let somebody else know. And you ain't on TikTok right now. You know what I'm saying?
Troy Washington:You got something else that you could do. But yeah. But let's go ahead and get into it, my bro.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah.
Troy Washington:So So oh, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. My bad. No.
Troy Washington:No.
JClay:What what what let's talk about it. Like, what what is sidelining? Like, what what what is sidelining to you? Like, life is sidelining you. What does that mean?
Troy Washington:Well, you know, the the funny thing about this is that when I as as I as it first appears in my mind, I was thinking, like, do I ever get sidelined? Like, you know, is this just a a a time frame when I just don't know what I need to do? But when I really just think about it, it to me, sidelining is when life doesn't look like the way that you anticipated it. And so you're sitting in a space where that you could never imagine, which in most cases, you can never imagine where you're gonna be at anyway. But you're sitting in a space where you you it wasn't a part of your plan, your your your mental or your written plan.
Troy Washington:And now because it's new, it's fresh, and it's it's something that you you weren't, ready for, you've to me, that's what being sidelined is. You don't know what to do in that space. What about you? Yeah.
JClay:So sideline sidelining is I'm pretty sure it's a sports term. Right? Like, you you in the game, coach, like, get them out. Come to the sideline. You you out the game.
JClay:You're like, what's what's up? What I do? I only missed the shot. You sideline. You sitting on the bench.
JClay:So it's it's that reference. Like like, no matter what you do, it seems like things are, like you said, working in your favor. I've had that before where it's like, okay, I'm a I'm a go about it this way. Ah, now you can't do that no more. That's that's done.
JClay:Oh, I'm a I'm a do that. I'm a post on TikTok every day, but then, like, TikTok gets taken away temporarily or forever. You know, just just it seems like no matter what you do, it's like you're getting roadblock after roadblock. And you like life. Are you trying to tell me something?
JClay:Should I not be doing this? Should I should I turn everything around? Like, what's going on? And that's that's what's meant to me by, you know, you being sidelined by life.
Troy Washington:You know, the funny thing is you're using the basketball analogy. You know, I'm a coach. So I think about all the times when my my kids make some type of error in the game. Some day, you know, I know that they know better or, you know, something that we've practiced, and we don't wanna call a time out. And so, you know, maybe the other team's shooting a free throw, and I'm screaming to my kid, come over here.
Troy Washington:Come over here. And I'm on the sideline, of course. And in that time when they're on the sideline, I'm trying to make them aware of what they did and tell them how to correct it. And, of course, they don't ever wanna come over there and talk to me, and they're like, I don't wanna do it. But, again, I just imagine when you use that analogy, somebody being on the sideline and not wanting to be there.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, bro.
JClay:Yeah. I got you. Well, that's that's an important thing. Because because one thing I know is tapping into, are you truly sidelined? And one thing that what you just said made me think of is you're not out you're not out of the game completely.
JClay:You're just on the sideline temporarily.
Troy Washington:Like, you're gonna go back
JClay:in the game, but there is something that needs to to happen. Maybe your your mentality, maybe, I don't know, you're too too anxious. You you you you're not sticking to the game plan. It could be any number of things. And so How does a person know if they're truly being sidelined by life or by God or by the forces that be?
Troy Washington:Well, I think number 1, the the best my my thought is to say to be all being sidelined, number 1. Because I think that when you're you're sidelined and your mentality say, you know, you have the mentality of I'm sidelined. It's a bad thing. You're not even open to the experience or getting whatever you were supposed to get out of it if if there is something to get out of it. And, again, me thinking about my my kids whenever I call them to the sideline, some of them don't want to come.
Troy Washington:Right? They feel like it's the end of the world. But and then when and and if they come with resistance, right, when they come with resistance, sometimes the words that I'm saying is going in one ear and at the other. They're not really it's not resonating. It's not sticking.
Troy Washington:And I think a part of that is because they're not open to being on the sideline. They're not open for the lesson. But the ones that have been able to say, okay. Coach needs me. It's not a big deal.
Troy Washington:I know it like you say, it's not the end of the world. I'll be back in in a second. They take the they they take the sideline with a positive attitude. And then whenever they actually get back to whatever the action is that they're doing, they have something new to bring to the table. They have a fresh, a a fresh, you know, idea of how to maneuver where they are.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:What's crazy is putting this in the sports analogy is reframing some things for me right now, because there there have been so many times where it's like I have felt like that. And looking back, of course, I was grateful for for being sidelined, but it's like, okay, you want to win the game. Right? You play the games, you have fun, you want to win the game. And essentially, you're getting sidelined because you're about to lose the game.
JClay:You're about to lose everything that you've been working for. Just like you said, because of something, because you need to to hear something. And the best way for you to hear it is not why you're actively doing what you're doing is off to the side. But then, like you said, we don't always even listen then. So it's like it's almost like the game is on hold at this point or we're just no we just can't be a part of it if we want to still succeed at what we want to succeed at.
JClay:And oftentimes, you know, even myself included, I was like, man, forget this game. I quit. I quit the game, you know, quit on the team instead of just, you know, let me let me see why I'm on the sidelines right now. Let me let me learn from this. And it's it's that's very interesting.
Troy Washington:You know what's funny about it? And I and I know we're talking about people in a game, but I wanna talk to you from the standpoint of myself. Right? Being a parent of a child that plays basketball. So for my kids' entire life, I've been there both of their coaches.
Troy Washington:I coached them from little to now. You know, I got a 13 year old, and, again, I still have a little a 6 year old now. Right? Now when you're the coach of your kids, there is a bit of a leeway in a sense. You know, I am harder on my son because I actually see him practice all the time, but there is still a, a leniency that you you kinda give your kids.
Troy Washington:Like, when they make mistakes, you're you're you're teaching them from a dad's standpoint and a coach standpoint at the same time. But there's, now I have a son who plays on other teams. He plays, you know, with his school, and then he plays with some other friends. And I'm not the coach, so he doesn't have the same lineage. He's not starting.
Troy Washington:He's he's a 6th man. He come off the bench. Right? And, the funniest part about it is, again, being a coach, and being a parent, I see how parents feel about their kids being on the sideline. Right?
Troy Washington:And, again, this is where it comes back to the mentality part of it. Right? Because I I without going so I just had a game recently. Just hyped that you know, it's not hyped that this is real. I just had a game recently, and I was sitting next to some parents.
Troy Washington:Right? And their kid was not in the game. And the parents were absolutely losing their mind. Like, oh, see, that's what's going on with this game. You know, it it it's it's they were they were upset.
Troy Washington:Right? Now the crazy part about it is their kid got in the game, and then their kid just start throwing the ball away back over and over again, over and over again, over and over again. Right? And the parent, the entire time this is happening, doesn't say anything because the only thing that they're happy the only thing they're worried about is being in the game. That's that's the only thing that in the game, don't matter.
Troy Washington:Right? Even if it's at the detriment of all the other everybody else that's involved. Yeah. So when a kid gets taken out the game, again, the parent loses their mind. And so in my mind, I thought I I looked at myself in it because I didn't wanna be judgmental of them being so emotionally in attached or involved in their kid being in and out the game.
Troy Washington:And I said, okay. Cool. When my kid is at the game, which is something I do all the time, but it it, again, it made me relook at myself. When my son is at the game, what do I have to gain? Right?
Troy Washington:Is there anything for me to gain? And so me taking that perspective gives me the opportunity when my kid is at the game to actually look at the game and evaluate it and see where he can make a mark. And so when I leave the game now, again, this is only because I'm open to being sidelined. So when I come home, I say, hey. Let's look at this film.
Troy Washington:You see what they were doing when you were not in? If you were here, here, and here, this puts you in a better op a better position to be more effective in the game. And so now my son comes back. He does these things in the next game and improves the team, you know, the entire team as a whole. So, you know, again, I think it's the mentality.
Troy Washington:How you think about it can change everything. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah, man. It's is becoming clear to me, too. Like, again, framing it this way has is becoming so clear because at the same time, like. You want to play this game. You love playing the game.
JClay:And of course, you could just play it at home by yourself if you want to. But now you want to play on the big stage at the biggest stage possible. Get you're always not ready to. Align yourself with not necessarily the rules of the game, but what what keeps people in the game. You know what I mean?
JClay:Like like, everybody is not willing to to do those things. And and it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just being truthful with what you want, truthful with the type of game that you want to play and the type of people that you want to play the game with. And sometimes being sidelined allows you to see that it allows you to see. Okay, so something's obviously not working right now.
JClay:Or maybe I'm needed at a later time. Like, maybe I'm needed for a different game plan within this game. But either case, there's something that I'm missing here, something that I'm not totally aligned with, or else I would I would be Okay with the sideline and is being willing to, in a sense, go within or go find out why, you know, like really find out why, but not from a in. Like, charge up space where you can't hear anything because, you know, we've all been there where you like, I can't believe this, blah, blah, blah, and you're not hearing nothing. They telling you the real deal straight up, but you're just not willing to hear it.
JClay:And yeah, it it it's being willing to kinda surrender almost so you can so you can hear.
Troy Washington:You know what's funny? The thing that I thought about when you were saying that, to me, I think that who we are is always needed. But, a problem is we don't know where to insert ourselves. We feel like the way that we insert ourselves is everywhere when it's not necessarily needed everywhere. And, again, it it wasn't even even in my situation that I'm talking about, it's not even necessarily necessary for my son to change.
Troy Washington:The dynamic of who you are fits in a specific space in this realm. And so I think that a lot of times, again, when you when you get sidelined, sometimes it's just for you to see where you're necessary. You get what I'm saying? When you're doing something specific, like, you can still be Klay, you can still be Troy, but they don't need you to be Troy in the first and like, let me use LeBron as an example.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:In his older age, LeBron not necessarily is gonna sit down and lock somebody up for the entire game. Right? He's gonna have spurts of the game where he can dominate and nobody can do anything. So what he says, okay. Well, for the first three quarters of the game, I'm not I'm just gonna let my team carry the biggest weight versus me, force things and then get tired and make a lot of mistakes that are not necessary.
Troy Washington:And then whenever the time is, I'll close out the game. And so I think that's you know? And and, again, that could be 4th quarter. It could be 3rd quarter. But I think that seeing where you're necessary is important and realizing that, the sideline is not because, it it it it was a time when you were not necessary per se.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And so okay. So so earlier we asked, how do you know, like, are you truly sidelined? And I I think in that question, that that might be the wrong question to ask because again, as we we stated, sideline means you're still in the game. Like, you're you're you're still a part of the team, I should say.
JClay:Not you're still in the game, you're still a part of the team. Yeah. And and and sideline, I guess, is we meant that are you truly sidelined? Like, are you thrown out? Are you off?
JClay:Is it is it done? Your career has failed and there is nothing that you can do. And so I guess the question, like, how do you discern that? Like, how do you discern the difference? Like, are you just sidelined or are you like, sidelined?
Troy Washington:The game. Like, for for real for real, it's over. Well, honestly, it's kind of a it's kind of a hard question for me. And the reason why I say that is because the truth of the matter for me is that the only time I'm truly out of the game is when I decide that. Yeah.
Troy Washington:You get what I'm saying? It it's a a decision based thing because I I feel like if you are sidelined and not out the game, you haven't decided to be out the game. If you choose to insert yourself by examining and seeing where it makes sense for you, then you can always get back in. But I think that a lot of times when you become fatigued, then you don't have the energy to look beyond what's in front you know, what's what you feel like is directly in front of you. I think that's when you're really out of the game, when you don't have the energy to seek where you belong, but go ahead.
JClay:And, you didn't even realize it, but you said fatigue, which is still, you know, a sports reference. But that's so true because, you know, people get sidelined because they just need to rest like you. You're exerting too much energy right now and you don't realize it. And life knows this about you. God knows this about you.
JClay:Like, you're you're even though you have no limits because you believe in certain limitations, it's like, okay, since you believe in these limitations, let's just chill for a second. Just just sit down. Like, it's it's not over. You can always choose. Like you said, you can always choose to to play the game again, but play by your own rules, but but play the game differently.
JClay:And and I'll just share an example. Like, music, you know, me me and you have done music together for years, and there was a path that we were on where we were playing the game, so to speak. We're playing their game, not our game. We're playing their game. And so we were doing things, but it was like we were still getting sidelined.
JClay:It was like, what's what's going on? We we just did this. You said be the best at this. We were the best at this. Do it like this.
JClay:We we broke all the records with this, but we were still getting sidelined. And one of the things it's many things I've learned through that process. But one of the things that I learned was I was never supposed to be playing that game. Like, music is still my game, but that version of the music game was not necessarily for me. And I was so grateful for the sidelining because if not, there could have been I'd like to speak on what what could have been or whatever, but I I would have been miserable in the game that, yes, I have success at this game, but it's like it's it's not me at all.
JClay:It's eating away at me. Go ahead.
Troy Washington:So now, man, I'm glad that you brought this music stuff up. And, man, it's like my again, I'm a I'm a I'm a go back to the sports, and then I'm a come back to us doing music. It's like my son getting up every single day, shooting 300 shots and making 300 shots, and then going into the game and then not playing. But you know you're doing all the work. You know you're doing everything that it takes.
Troy Washington:You know you're getting up and dribbling. You know you're doing everything. And then when you get to where you feel like, okay. I'm supposed to be here, they say, no. You're still not there.
Troy Washington:When we were doing music, this is where my mentality there was a mentality shift because you are 100% right. We were playing a game, and we felt like we were sidelined or we kept getting sidelined because we were playing a different game than the game we were actually trying to get into. But when I looked back at it, I realized that I was never sidelined at all. And that's where I think understanding where what sidelined in is truly is. Because if anybody at that time, anybody that was around us was like, oh, y'all are the music moguls.
Troy Washington:They'd like, if anybody has something about music questions, they would come to us. If they had they needed a device, they would come to us. If they needed beats, they would come to, like you know, it it was we were a hub for that. And, you know, from somebody that's not in our space, they would think, like, man, they're running whatever it is that they're doing. They would never think or imagine imagine us being sidelined.
Troy Washington:But because from my own perspective, we thought it was we were playing a different game, we couldn't realize that we were we were the starters in the league that we were playing in. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Man, that that's that's so real. And that brings us to this. Like, do you really want to be back in that game? Like, is that the game that you want to be back in?
JClay:And, yeah, the key to so what's different than the the sports analogy we're bringing up is like usually in certain leagues and teams, you get drafted and you might not have too much say on the team that you end up in. But with life, you really do. Like, you could choose the league that you want to play in. You could choose whose team who who's gonna be the coach if you're gonna self coach and play at the same time. Like, it's it's so many factors that you actually have control of.
JClay:And it's okay if if if this league over here is not for you, if that's not the league that you wanna be in. Now if it is, you know, you could still reassess and you can still get back in there. It's never too late. But if it isn't, start to be right with yourself to to see.
Troy Washington:Go ahead. Alright. So I'm a say this. So first of all, for everybody that's joining us, y'all, please like and subscribe, share. Do all of that for us.
Troy Washington:We appreciate it. But, bro, I'm a tell you the reason why I'm smiling so hard. Because when we were coming up with, you know, what we wanna talk about in the questions, one of the questions in my head was, should it be that game or this game? Yeah. And now when we get to that game, it it it just blew my mind that it it kinda just fit right in.
Troy Washington:And I'm with you 100%. So it what what what happens to me when I hear that is or do you and, again, even me talking about us, do you realize what game you're playing? Do you know what game you're playing? And I think that's, again, a part of this problem. Like, do you wanna be back in that game?
Troy Washington:But what game is it that you're playing? Do you even realize it? And, again, if you go if you if you if we could rewind time and we could talk even if you don't even rewind if you go and talk to anybody that dealt with us during this time, especially our artists. Right? And when I talk to them now, they'd be like, man, you don't know how much you did for me.
Troy Washington:You changed my life. You put me on a pamper. You showed me how to do this. And and, again, the game we were playing partially was mentorship. The game we was playing was leadership.
Troy Washington:The game we was playing was keep people off the streets. The game we were playing like, there was a whole bunch of different things that we were doing that meant so much to so many people, but meant nothing to us. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so, you know, you know, do you wanna be back in that game?
Troy Washington:And then the question is, like, what game is it like what you're playing? See what impact you're having on your world. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and and to that, like, I know that there may be some people watching that that's like, okay. I don't wanna play that game, but I don't know what game I wanna play.
Troy Washington:Wanna play.
JClay:And that's okay. Just admitting that to yourself allows you to then say, okay. Let me decide which game I wanna play. And that's a lot different than not moving because you just don't know. Because now you you're allowing yourself to to fail in certain things or get that experience where it's not a failure if you don't succeed right away because you got the experience to know if you want to continue or not.
JClay:So it it's almost it's the same you're at the same point. You don't know what you wanna do, but or let me figure out what I wanna do. And and and not allowing anything to stop you at that point.
Troy Washington:Nah. 100. And and and I think a part of that is not don't lose sight of it because of the recognition. Because, again, when I think about us, one of the things that we did back when we were doing this was we started we we know we needed videos. We needed some kind of visual content to provide to people.
Troy Washington:And what we did was we said, okay. You know what? Let's start doing the videos. And what happens in that was we've we dropped the video, and somebody says to me, man, y'all video's a kite. Right?
Troy Washington:And so my entire I'm confusing what I want with what I'm hearing because you're telling me my my stuff is tight. Okay. Now I need to do this even better next time. I'm gonna do it this way this time. And so now I pivoted from where I oh, I took that fork in a row from what my initial intention was because I'm I'm happy for the the feedback that I'm getting.
Troy Washington:And I think that just making sure that you don't lose sight of that is very important. Well, go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. The the the interesting thing about this and being sidelined, right, is only you can can make that determination. So, like, I've had people tell me I shouldn't be doing something that I love doing, and I didn't care what they said because I I knew me. But I've had people say that too about stuff I was iffy about, and it made it easier for me to quit. And it's We have more control over the definitions of things like like it's been said that nothing by itself has any inherent meaning.
JClay:Like, we give meaning to everything. And the more and more I listen to stories and just have experience on my own, that's so true. You can look at a situation as I was kicked out as done. They don't care about me. This this is this is stupid.
JClay:I'm never gonna do this again. And that will be your life. Or you could say, okay. There's a reason for this. You know, God never let me down before.
JClay:Let let me let me let me show him I trust him, or or let me show the let me show that I trust myself, that there's a reason that I'm in this situation. There's there's something for me to learn. And even if you don't even find out what that is until 10 years from now, just having that mindset changes everything. It changes the landscape because now you can move forward. Now you continue and refining your game, so to speak, so that you can live the life, that you set forth for yourself.
Troy Washington:So now, again, I'm telling you how I got lost in the sauce. Right?
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And then my my my question for you specifically is, you know, when you get sucked in like that. You know what I mean? And you lose sight of, you know, what you originally originally trying to do, and you like it. You know, it's like a a drug. You you you you get addicted to the feedback.
Troy Washington:You know, how and and and, again, this is the reality of what we're talking about. At that point, you are sidelined. Yeah. Right? That's how I feel.
Troy Washington:Like, at that point, when you lose sight of where you're going, you're sidelined. How do you pull yourself back from that? How do you again, I I'm telling you to recognize it, but how do you recognize it? Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:The the funny thing is it's just to be sidelined. And and what I mean is okay, me and you have had the conversation where we we've take taken a vacation. Like, you know, we we were just overwhelmed. We didn't know we're overwhelmed, but, you know, took a vacation. And then in the middle of the vacation, it was like an epiphany.
JClay:I know everything I'm supposed to do. I know what I need to do. I'm a do that. I'm a do that. Even though you're still enjoying the vacation, but everything is now so clear.
JClay:You're flooded with all the clearness that you could ever want, but you can only get to that point from relaxing, from just chilling out, from taking off the weight of the world and just leaving it somewhere because you can always pick it up if you want to. You don't got to carry it with you everywhere. And so like that, that in a way, like I said, it is to be sidelined and to align yourself with that. Temporary, temporary sideline state, so to speak.
Troy Washington:Yeah,
JClay:That that's where clarity comes. That's where like, that's why people meditate because when they meditate, they just kinda let everything go, and they can just rise rise to the to the top of the ocean, so to speak, where they can hear everything.
Troy Washington:So they and and they can and they kinda go back to, you know, what I was saying with the kids or even myself as a parent. Allow myself to let go. Shout out to Jay Clay. Let go. Y'all can look that up as well.
Troy Washington:But allowing the you know, allowing yourself to, not be emotionally tied to where you are in a sense. Right? And understanding, okay, there's an opportunity in this moment if I allow or choose for it to be an opportunity. What is that? And even from the standpoint where I'm telling you I was stuck doing videos because I was in love with the feedback, just taking a moment to look and say, hey.
Troy Washington:Is this what I want to do? If not, what is it that I want to do, and how can this help me with what I want to do? How can you know, and and just kinda really, like you said, letting go and allowing yourself to live in that moment and see what it really looks like. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. One thing you said that, just to be mindful of, because I've said it before, like not being too emotionally involved, but joy is also an emotion too. And I don't think it's ever wrong to be too joyfully involved. It's usually with the other with the opposite of that when we're emotionally evolved involved. And because there's been plenty of times where I've been sidelined, but it's cool.
JClay:Like, oh, it's cool. I see. I see what's going on right now. Don't worry. When I come back, is on.
JClay:I'm ready to do it better this way. And it's you're so involved, but it's like the greatest thing ever. So to be mindful of the emotions, which we talk about all the time, is whenever you're mindful of your own emotions, you can better guide your day. You can better guide your your your mission in life. You can align with your purpose by just paying attention to how you feel.
JClay:And if it's not joyful, okay, what do I need to do to get back joyful so that I can now make these decisions that I
Troy Washington:need to make? And then you come back with a force, bro. Like, again, this is what's funny about it. Yesterday, we had basketball games for my son. You not got basketball games every day, it feel like, anyway.
Troy Washington:And, funny thing is I I coach with a coach. So I put like this. Okay. I got a we got a 6 year old team, and then we got a 12 year old team for my for my big kids and my little kids. Both of them had games yesterday at the same time.
Troy Washington:So shout out to Bruce Davis, one of my, good friends. He co coaches with me for my little kids, so we got games at the same time. He will go coach the little kids, and then I'll coach the, you know, the big kids. Well, yesterday, Brody had to end up coming off the bench. And I told Brody, hey.
Troy Washington:To my you know, today, you're gonna come off the bench. And he was just like, well, I gotta come off the bench. And I, you know, I I gave him a story of why he's coming out to be. I was like, because we're gonna alternate quarters, and we want you to close the game. So we want you to be in the 2nd quarter and the 4th quarter.
Troy Washington:You're gonna play the Q1 and the 3rd quarter. And so Brody was like, okay. Cool. Right? And so the funny thing is I talked to him after the game because I didn't get to watch the game.
Troy Washington:I watched it afterwards. Right? And I saw what he did. It it was it was cool. So the Q1, we were losing the game 4 to 3.
Troy Washington:Right? And the entire time he's watching the game like, I looked at him looking at the game. He's looking at where they were leaving openings and all this kind of stuff. Right? And then when he comes in the Q2, he reels off, like, 10 points.
Troy Washington:So we end up we end up being ahead of them by 10 points in that Q2. And, again, a part of that was because him saying, okay. Cool. My dad said it's better for me to he he he took a positive mindset about it and found out how he could be most impactful. And, again, when he came out in the Q2, they scored 3 our team scored 3 points in the Q3.
Troy Washington:And then the Q4, he come back in. They closed out the game, and we beat them, like, 35 to 15. And it's because his mental his he was able to say, you know what? Where I'm needed, what's going to be better for us, and what's gonna be better for me too, and the reason why it's gonna be better for me. And then he came and told me, dad, look.
Troy Washington:This is how this happened, and I know what I can do. And I I just think that being able to see yourself also once you realize, being able to see yourself where you're gonna be helps you have a better foot forward on the
JClay:next when you do it anyway. Go ahead. And and it is what was cool about that is is a few things. So one, you know, it it was so easy. It would have been as easy for his mentality to be, man, forget this team, and they don't appreciate me.
JClay:I'm I'm a tell my dad to take me off the team, put me on another team because I'm not appreciated over here. But at the same time, he knew who he was. Mhmm. He knew he was prepared. He knew he belonged there.
JClay:And so with that positive mentality added to that, he was like, you know what? Okay. I could go here and score easy basket. I can go here and go like, at at his age, I wasn't thinking like that, especially playing basketball. I'm just like, just put me out there.
JClay:I wanna play. But but he again, he he put in that work, not even I wouldn't even say work. He followed his passion. He followed his joy, which led him to the ability to what we would call others would call work. Oh, go ahead.
Troy Washington:No. No. And I and I want to say also, he knew that he was gonna be impactful no matter what. Yes. And I think that's important.
Troy Washington:Like Yes. The sidelining can also show you your value. You know what I'm saying? Like, it it you you get to see how valuable you are and then also how valuable you could be when added. Like, drinking coffee without sugar.
Troy Washington:Like, you drink without sugar, then you put the sugar in, you appreciate it that much more if you like sugar anyway, but go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. Well, you know, I don't drink coffee, but
Troy Washington:I I don't I don't either. I I meant to say tea, but I know I've heard people say that about coffee. So, you know, I
JClay:I'm with you. I'm with you. And that that makes sense. Like, knowing man, knowing your value, like, knowing how valuable you are is very important. And I love that you said that because you you can't always tell your value when you're doing stuff.
JClay:It takes you stepping back. It takes the the to see, oh, okay. Maybe I did make a difference here. That's one of the hardest things for people to do is see themselves. You
Troy Washington:you can't.
JClay:I mean, you look in a mirror. That's just a reflection of you. But you see from the perception of yourself all the time. So you have no idea who you are. But those sideline moments, those moments to yourself where you can gather your thoughts, where you can just kind of relax and be you get a bigger picture of who you are or at least who you want to be and.
JClay:In many ways, we should embrace that sidelining and just call it a new name, like we said, vacation.
Troy Washington:Yeah, man. Yeah, man. And, the the and I always try to apply the things that again, these are things that we know, honestly. You and I and and probably the multitude of people that's watching us all the time because we all traveling a pathway. Y'all all realize that y'all are perfect.
Troy Washington:Y'all might not always accept it, but I know that you know. But I think that, you know, for myself, and me seeing and witnessing these things over and over again, our life is grand. You know? We are complex very complex, beings, and they're and and we compartmentalize our life. So I'm this person here.
Troy Washington:I'm this person here, and you can feel sidelined in different areas of your life. And I think just kinda revisiting this over and over again puts it into perspective to make you realize that, even if I sideline in all these different areas, where am I over here? And it allows me to sit back and say, okay. Well, while I'm doing this, how effective can I be doing these other things whenever I'm off of the sideline if I even wanna keep playing those games? And I think that's important.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:So, similar, I guess, to to what Brody did. Like, let's say you decide to go back in the same game. You sideline. Do you want to go back? You want to try again?
JClay:Like, how would you play it differently? Should you even play it differently? Should you continue to do the same things? Because because I listen to the story that you brought up of Brody. Had he been in Q1, he might not have seen, like you said, the spots.
JClay:He might not have been able to just go off like he went, but because he was sidelined, he was like, oh, I could do it this way because, you know, I was told I'm supposed to close it. I'm supposed to do what I know I can do. So, yeah, what would you say to that?
Troy Washington:I I would say that so so so, again, I'm kinda torn with this. Right? Because I I like the variety of life. And I think that sometimes you need to put yourself in the situation to be sidelined. Right?
Troy Washington:Because I think it teaches you appreciation. Yeah. I think it teaches you to cherish the moments because you might not have that moment next time. And so, you know, for Brody, as an example, no matter what Bruce chooses when it comes to playing him, I'm cool with. The same thing with TJ.
Troy Washington:Like, I I I I I tell him, I know you would like to start on this team, but you have a whole different lesson you're learning here. And I just think that, you know, being able to, experience it, it gives you a different level of appreciation. It gives you, the the the the the foresight that you were talking about, but then also teaching you to kind of be, be able to be, what's that word? Spontaneous. Right?
Troy Washington:Because when you switch it up, the spontaneity of it all opens you up to more also. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Now I I I wanna circle back to something you said that I think was important. Putting yourself in a position to be sidelined. That's key. So, like, you know, whenever somebody plays a new game, they have beginner's luck, which is which is no accident. But it's they don't know the rules of the game.
JClay:They don't know if their play is stupid or not. They're willing to try anything. They see it from a totally different perspective. And if they lose, no harm, no foul. If they win, like, oh, snap.
JClay:I won. I never played this before. This is great. But they put themselves in a position to be sidelined because in some ways, they didn't care about the outcome. They just knew their purpose.
JClay:They knew their intention. And when you when you move through life and you know your intention for doing something, the results don't matter because you know that you're hitting your intention. Like like, even in basketball, if you intend to win the game, that's different if you're just playing the game. If you intend to win, even if you don't win. Well, I I intended to win.
JClay:I did everything that I know, and I see what I did wrong or I see what we could have done to to bring this forth. So, like, that that that intention is important because it does in a way you put yourself in a position to be sidelined, but you also put yourself in a position where you're not leaning on the past. You're not leaning on the history of things and how it's always been because, you know, things could change at any moment. You're you're really just leaning on you, on on your ability, on yourself, and just just trusting that it is all being orchestrated for your benefit anyway.
Troy Washington:You know? So this is what's funny. I'm gonna switch it from the sports talk, and I'm a switch it to TikTok since that's topic of discussion right now in our world. Right? And the funny thing is I read an article this morning when I got up, and it was about, how TikTok has gone through this exact same process before in India.
Troy Washington:So in 2020, India put a ban on TikTok as well, and they had, like, 200,000,000 people on TikTok. You know, we only got a 150,000,000. They had 200,000,000 people on TikTok. And at that time, of course, TikTok was fighting to stay, you know, the main, streaming source, but, like, they had to be sidelined, you know, in in, in in in India. And from that spun off the reels, that's where reels came from.
Troy Washington:That's also where the YouTube shorts came from. That's where all of these these different, things came from in order to satisfy the the desire for people that wanted to be on TikTok. And what happened is now TikTok could have threw in the towel and said, dang. Shorts are here. You know, reels are here.
Troy Washington:And, you know, Zuckerberg and them, they're already established, so that's a big market share that we're gonna lose. But TikTok say, you know what? Cool. Let's sit back and examine, and we'll, you know, we'll we'll survey the landscape and move accordingly. Then they come to, you know, they come to America, and they're doing it well, they were in America at the time, but they they they fixed what we felt like were kings at the time.
Troy Washington:Right? Yeah. Maybe America let us get by. Right? Now this is the funniest thing.
Troy Washington:You would think that TikTok realized right now how valuable they are because they got all these people. They making all this money. But where do you think that we saw how how valuable TikTok was last night when they cut it off or the week before they cut it off? And I think that they even realized, like, man, the sidelining helps us to understand the true value. Yeah.
Troy Washington:Not only will people just spend all their time on here with us, not only will people sail here with us, but people will go and fight the government for us. That's a whole different level of value that you don't you're not even able to recognize unless you take the sideline. Right? Unless you do cut off. And I think, again, you just using TikTok as an example for what we're talking about, you understand true value and also different a different playbook when you accept it and look at it from a different perspective.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah, I love that because that's that's so true. Not only did they see their value like they they saw how the world valued them as well, which which is important. Like, is it important for you to value yourself over anyone else's valuation of you because you with you 247. So, Okay, so that brings to the question of the day. What's holding you back?
JClay:This is to everyone listening. This is to myself. What's holding you back? Like, what's what is sidelining you? And then kind of apply everything we talked about.
JClay:Like, what is sidelining you? Is it truly sidelining you? Did you want to be sidelined in any way? Like like what? What is that?
JClay:Go ahead.
Troy Washington:I'm I'm gonna tell you for myself specifically is is knowing too much and not knowing enough. And what I mean by that is that, you know, from we when we first started the show, my thought process of being sidelined is being in an arena that I've never been in. And so just to kinda give you an example, at the very beginning of this year, or like I do every year, I start to write out goals. And every year, I get even better at it. And I try to get even more detailed, and I try to give you even more stuff.
Troy Washington:And I try to, you know, I try to put myself in a position where I'm not in a foreign land. So I'm sitting back and saying, I don't know what I need to do next. Right? And it's again, from my standpoint, this is all because I wasn't able to foresee and or I saw too much and still missed something. And so I think that for for for me, the the ideal thing to stop me from being stagnant or what's holding me back is realizing that in this space, in our realms because some realms, I can feel comfortable not knowing.
Troy Washington:Right? But in this space, in our realms, I'm okay. Learn. And I know that I don't do that in all instances. We go ahead, Jay.
Troy Washington:I love that.
JClay:And and for me, it's really just me if I feel like I'm being sidelined. So right now, I don't feel like anything's holding me back. Right now, I feel like I'm I'm I'm working my plan. I'm doing what I said I'm going to do, setting everything up so that I can jump in the back in the game how I want to play this game. And to that, like, it's usually me too that that has been holding me back, in certain areas because I I might accept something that I shouldn't be accepting that I brought on myself or not even brought on myself.
JClay:I told myself this story for me to believe it. And we can tell ourselves whatever story we want to. We we could say, man, I I I suck at this. Or I can say, man, I'm great at this. People just don't know it yet.
JClay:And whatever I say, I believe because it's me. I'm saying this to myself, which is why not not to go too far off topic. We should be mindful of the words we speak, the words that we share, and that we don't seek to deceive another because we kind of end up deceiving ourselves in the same in the same instance. Because, again, who listens to us? We listen to us.
JClay:And right. So so when we hear our thoughts, we could easily see that, man, I'm the only one who can hold me back. I'm the only one that's been holding me back. Nothing else can. No no law, no, person, no, I don't education.
JClay:Like, it's it's countless stories of people overcoming all of these things. And, yeah, just just know that for yourself.
Troy Washington:I I would also say, and I'm a I'm a bring this back to the context of sports. Yeah. Be a cheerleader on the sideline. Right? And and and the reason why I say that because without the sports, I was gonna say just be active be active on the sideline.
Troy Washington:Yeah. You know, sometimes when you're sidelined, you think it's the end of the world. And outside of the having the perspective of there's something for me to learn, if you're a cheerleader on the sideline and you bring energy, sometimes that thing that you're supposed to learn is just gonna come to you. So as an example, using my kids, I like when kids are sitting on the sideline and saying, hey. Good job on that free throw.
Troy Washington:Hey. Lock them up on a you know, all of these different things to stay engaged. That's the word. To stay engaged in what's going on because when you stay engaged, again, there are a 1,000,000 things floating in the sky that you don't notice. But when you're engaged in that world, you can start to pick and choose things that can you can bring to the world that you're in to help you, understanding why you're sidelined and what's holding you back.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:I'm so happy you said that because that's one of the most important things. Even going back to to what I said about, like, you hear yourself. So if you're on the sidelines and you see someone in a position that you would like to be in and you curse them or chastise them or something, you're hearing yourself saying anybody that's doing this, they deserve this treatment. This is the kind of treatment that they're gonna get. So now you wonder, like, man, why am I why do I not want to step up in this position?
JClay:Because now you open yourself up to the treatment, not by all these other people, but how you were treated. You open yourself up to that that that treatment to how you treated that person. And so when you're a cheerleader, as you say, when you're bringing that positive energy, you're reinforcing that man. People in this position deserve to to have that that praise, deserve to to have that that that joy brought and just be reminded of how much they bring to everyone else. And it it switches things.
JClay:So now it's like, oh, yeah. I can't do this because I know I'm gonna be supported. So, yeah, that that is man, that that should not be overlooked to be mindful to to give that energy to others in in the position you would like to be in.
Troy Washington:But 2, even in that so number 1, I love I love you saying creating the world that you wanna be in. That that's what you're saying. Like, you're saying, I'm making this real for me too. But I also would say this too. Like, you're gonna really when you're engaged, you're gonna really see what's going on.
Troy Washington:Like, you're really gonna know what's happening. Sometimes we do things oblivious. Yeah. We do it obliviously. Right?
Troy Washington:Like, we just we're just in the motion. Like, a basketball player can just go on the court and just start playing just because they play basketball, but they don't have to be attuned to what's happening. The same thing in our business or businesses and making music. Like, there have been plenty times where I'm sitting back and I'm writing I'm listening to a beat, and then I stopped listening to the beat and I'm just hearing it. It's just playing.
Troy Washington:Like, I'm not even engaged anymore. Right? And so I think that you being engaged and really seeing what's going on, it it also might show you why you're sidelined. You know, we're talking about what you have to gain and then how you can, you know, create the world, but you can see something that you didn't see in yourself too. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. So speaking of that being in tune and and being engaged, something that I I heard about recently, it's called intention segmentation. Shout out to Abraham Hicks. And basically what that is, like, you know, your your day is broken up into different segments. Like, you wake up, you land in bed.
JClay:That's a segment. You get up out of bed and and do your routine. That's another segment. Maybe you get ready to go somewhere. Another segment, you eat or cook like all these segments.
JClay:But as you said, we do things obliviously. Like, we we just we just go about and just do things. We go through the motions. We haven't set an intention for what we're doing. So, So, like, sometimes people might do the same thing over and over again and might not have the same results as someone else that's doing the same thing over and over again.
JClay:But that the difference is that other person put an attention to it. They say, I'm doing this because x y z. This is going to lead me to x y z. So it's like they're having the faith and taking the action all in the same breath instead of just taking the action or instead of just having the faith. It's like you're you're doing both all at once.
JClay:And it's important that that when you do this for every segment, you realize, like, I I got I've been doing this for the past 5 or 6 days, and it's been amazing, amazing to me how much I just did things willy nilly. I didn't even think about why I was doing it. I was just kind of moving autonomously and. Everything like like for like you brush your teeth for a reason, right? Let yourself know the reason why you brush your teeth.
JClay:You shower for a reason, right? Like, let yourself know the reason why you're showering. And it'll have the effect of creating the world that you truly want instead of like maybe your shower breakdown or something like that. That won't even happen because you're reinforcing, oh, I'm showering to help purify myself or what what whatever you whatever your personal intentions are. So, yeah, I I would definitely say try that out to everyone who hasn't.
Troy Washington:And now I'm gonna tell you something, bro, that you made me think about, and it's funny. So I I always come and I tell you about how much we're shooting. Right? And, again, there are so many dynamics to shooting that you can look at, but one of the things that we do all the time is for form shooting. Right?
Troy Washington:And so I make sure TJ gets his shots up. Boom. Make sure Brodie gets his gets shots up. Right? And the the the goal for me is makes.
Troy Washington:I don't count how many shots you shoot. Let's see how many you make. But then there's a whole so when you got when you're teaching kids to shoot, at some point, they're gonna start making form shots, and they won't miss. They'll just make them all. They just be making them all.
Troy Washington:But now you're doing what you're doing. Now you're you're, you're moving obliviously. Right? So now it's just easy. Right?
Troy Washington:But can I challenge myself to stop being oblivious and and and continue in the thinking process for improvement? Well, how could I do that? Okay. Well, now that you're doing makes, the only thing you could do is make switches. Only switches now.
Troy Washington:Not the back of the rim down, switches. And so now they're engaged in a a totally different way. Now they're doing the same thing, completely the same thing, but now it's like, okay. Okay. A little bit too hard.
Troy Washington:Okay. A little bit too soft. Okay. Let me get there over and over again. And so now it it's it's engaging you in a different way, and that's why I like the fact that you said you can be doing the same thing, but you're not doing the same thing because you're not engaged the same way.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay. Right.
JClay:And it makes you not engaged. You didn't set that forth for you before. You just it's like, oh, this is what everybody do. I'm just gonna do what everybody do. I don't need to think about this.
JClay:I mean, which can be cool, like, maybe the first time, but but you weren't you might not have been engaged enough to have that automatic engagement. Like, there was a time. I want to say like 10 years ago that for about a month or a whole 2 months, anytime I would get into a car, I'd be like, no accidents, incidents, tickets or something or breakdowns. I remember
Troy Washington:I remember you used to say that even before, like, a long time. I remember that.
JClay:Yeah. I I used to say that every time. And Yeah. And I when when I started setting my attention again, like, I never realized that I don't say that anymore, but that always happens. Like, I I'm I'm safe.
JClay:Like, everything is is cool because I I kinda ingrained that in me. But we we have habits that we that we ingrained in ourselves, but we don't know what caused it. We we just didn't even think about the intention to bring that about, and we should change that. Like, I even started saying that again in the car just to kinda re up and reaffirm
Troy Washington:Yeah.
JClay:Just in case.
Troy Washington:That's that's like, when my kids whenever I'm training them, I would tell them to tell me when they miss, I'll make the next one dead. I'll make the next one dead. And so all the time when they're shooting, they literally be saying, I'll make the next one dead when they miss it. And so it it's just one of those things. Like, you you're right.
Troy Washington:You're giving yourself the opportunity. Right? You're giving yourself the opportunity to create your world how you want it, and you don't know what that's gonna look like if you never set that intention, but go ahead,
JClay:Doug. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, man. It's it's it's it's real out here.
JClay:Like, being sidelined is is not necessarily the the things that we think it is. It's not the punishment that it once seemed like. Even punishment sometimes. Like, punishment can take on a bad thing when it's not even really punishment is just silent or time out, as they say, you know, just just taking a breath, taking a breath, taking a knee. And we should we should accept those moments.
JClay:We should see it, especially if we feel like life is sidelining us. That means the whole world is conspiring for us to just take this breath. That's that's all it's saying. Just take this breath. Take this moment.
JClay:You gonna get back in the game. Just make sure you breathe now. Just collect your thoughts. Go over your intentions so you can get back in there and do what
Troy Washington:you wanna do. Bro, you know, the funny thing is, talking about myself. I've been fired from a job before. I've been laid off for multiple jobs. Right?
Troy Washington:And the the the the craziest thing is the mentality is that's a sideline. Like, I was doing something I wanted to do. I mean, because I was doing it, and then they told me I couldn't do it anymore. And mentality is everything. Looking back, every single time I got sidelined, my life got completely better.
Troy Washington:And, again, in those moments, it may not have felt like that, and I also could have taken a different path had I not looked at it from a positive perspective. Like, when I got fired, I still remember being in the office, and my manager told me she's like, you know, they're gonna let me fire you. They're gonna make me fire you, Troy. And I was like, okay. And then she said, are you gonna be okay?
Troy Washington:You just got that truck.
JClay:And I was like, nah.
Troy Washington:I would be cool. And she was like, really?
JClay:And I was like, yeah. And I was
Troy Washington:like she's like, okay. And I never felt any different than I felt in her office when I walked away. You know what I'm saying? And, again, for the better, my life got better. I mean, it got better.
Troy Washington:You know, it got better. Even when I got laid off, I wasn't ready to get laid off for whatever reason. But my life you know, I went from doing the biz the job that I was doing to being who I am today. And I feel like my life is greater today than it was then. And it's just one of those things that is our perspective.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:What what I real quick. What I love about that story that you just told between you and your, old boss was that your faith in yourself was greater than her doubt. You know what I mean? Because even I've been in a situation with somebody like, You sure? And then I rethink things, and then I let all this doubt and worry creep in.
JClay:And it's not like they brought it out of me. It was just, I accepted doubt and worry for some reason instead of just leaving it myself and knowing, like, nah, everything is gonna be be alright and and not go, you know, back and forth with somebody to to unprove that or prove that. So I love that. Yeah. Okay.
Troy Washington:No, no, no. No, you go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. I was going to say I appreciate everybody that that rock with us on this topic. What to do when life keeps sidelining you. I hope that you have a blueprint of of. Yeah.
JClay:Just how to succeed or just how to at least move forward to take that next step. And, I mean, of course, if you if you found this helpful, it's share button like subscribe. Tell some people. Let us know your thoughts. All of that good stuff.
JClay:And, Troy, you want to say some stuff?
Troy Washington:And I'll say this, man. Like, as a people, as a community and I'm saying this just saying because I me talking to people or also just seeing, you know, people's post on social media. Right? Majority of times, when I've seen people get sidelined, the verbiage that comes out of their mouth that they text, type, or they talk to me about is now starting a new chapter. Right?
Troy Washington:And I would encourage people that when you do that, when you say that, to believe the sentiment that you're sharing. Because sometimes we are sidelined, and we're speaking something because we feel like it's going to be, and it's going to be uplifting to other people, but we don't necessarily believe it for ourselves. And I just encourage you that when you say that the the the new chapter, the new path, greater things coming to me, that you believe those things that are coming out of your mouth. Because the truth is you've already created it when you wrote it. You've already created it when you said it.
Troy Washington:And if you believe it, it'll soon appear, but you have to trust that the sideline is that you're on was the one that you were supposed to be on. Go ahead, John. Now you got something to say. Yeah.
JClay:Well, that made me think of, like, even before you could, like, based on what you said, before believing in yourself, believe yourself. Like, just believe yourself and and say things worth believing. And that that just just following those 2 or 3 things will just get you so far in life. But yeah. Yep.
Troy Washington:But, you know, we love y'all. We're grateful for y'all. Definitely would encourage, if y'all could, to help us out. Like, share, subscribe. Let somebody else know about us.
Troy Washington:We're here every week, you know, like clockwork because we love doing what we do. And, of course, without y'all, we wouldn't be here, but we'd definitely be doing something. But definitely want you to realize that you are perfect. And, Jay, you can go ahead and take us out, baby.
JClay:Yeah. Because you you're a perfect creation made by a perfect creator, so you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect, welcome to perfect, where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, and spiritual teacher with my cohost Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor.
JClay:Let's be real. So let's be perfect. Let's be perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect.
