S5E16: The Art of Surrender - How to Trust the Universe with Your Next Move
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations.
JClay:I'm Jay Clay, rapper, and spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real, so let's be perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything.
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Troy Washington:What up? What up? What up? Welcome to perfect mode. And first off, I wanna start by telling y'all that we love y'all.
Troy Washington:We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere sharing our thoughts, hopefully, in helping you realize and feel your perfection. And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. And I have my boy, J. Clay, spiritual rapper and
JClay:teacher. And
Troy Washington:we're about to jump on here today and talk about the art of surrender, how to trust the universe with your next move. But before we get into that, if you love this show, go ahead, like, share, and subscribe. Let somebody else know about it. And if you wanna help somebody else see their profession just like we hope, we're helping you see yours because the only reason you would think that you're not perfect is if you're looking at this person next to you and saying, I'm not them. But guess what?
Troy Washington:You are you, and that's all you need. Hit that like, share, and subscribe. What up, Jay?
JClay:What up? What up? Happy perfect mode day. Happy Sunday to all my perfect people. Perfect land doing the perfect thing here at the perfect time.
JClay:I don't know if I if I actually, I might have forgot to share the link to subscribe to our calendar. So, you know, when all our episodes are ahead of time, the topics we're going to touch. So if I did, I just put it in the chat now. Hopefully it shows up in all these chats.
Troy Washington:But, yeah,
JClay:so that's the deal. And, yeah, man, I'm happy to be here this this Sunday before Christmas. Happy holidays to all the holiday people. Yeah.
Troy Washington:Yeah, man. So so the art of surrender, how to trust the universe with your next move. And the funniest thing, bro, is, number 1, you know, just kinda just, open up about me. I I feel like this is something that I revisit every single day. Literally, I'm always trying to surrender something every single day.
Troy Washington:So much so that, before I even looked at the topic, I said, okay. Before my show today, I'm a go ahead and get my run-in. And then after I finished running, I said, right before the show, probably, like, at, you know, 15 minutes before, I need a 5 minute meditation about letting go. And then I looked up and I saw this topic, and I was like, man, talking about being in my head. But but but straight up.
Troy Washington:But what what's your thoughts on this, man?
JClay:Yeah. I mean, I I wanted something where, like, you know, sometimes we always some we've all have experienced feeling stuck before. Like, just like, man, I'm doing the right things or I don't know what to do next. I'm I'm not even sure what direction I should be going in And just, you know, just just many things, and then we're trying to control so many parts of our lives. And we don't realize that, you know, we are we are doing ourselves a disservice.
JClay:And if we have this ally, which which is the universe, which is love, which is God, which is all that there is. We have this this ally that that's allowing us to do whatever we want in a sense. Like, if we don't want help, then that energy is granting us that we won't have help. If we do want help, then that energy is granting us that we will have help. And to to to be able to tap into that when we want it, because, you know, we all want help.
JClay:We say we wanna be the the person that just do everything, have everything figured out. Nah. We we if this if we can have that easy button, we would like to take that easy button more often than not. So, I I kinda wanted to just, you know, jump in and and and talk about that. Like, and and even starting off with, like, to you, what does surrender really mean?
JClay:You know, funny.
Troy Washington:So okay. My mind is going a 1000000 different places with this. So what does surrender really mean? But I I I think I like to think of it from the standpoint. At least for me to process it myself as the art of control.
Troy Washington:Right? And the reason why I say that is because when I think about trying to control everything, I think about all the domino effects that come whenever I'm trying to be in control. And what I mean by that is trying to control things that I don't control, number 1, creates frustration. Trying to control things that I can't control also, it it creates a doubt because you know that the outcome is not always based off of solely what you have your your your your hands on. And so when I think about the art of control, and I think about all the things that it brings me outside of those 2 that I just named, I I realized that surrendering to them is always even it it it's better for me mentally, emotionally, and physically, you know, in in all aspects.
Troy Washington:So, when I think about it, it it it really just means letting go and realizing that anything outside of this body, I shouldn't be concerned with. But go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. For for me, surrender is, like you said, it it is a letting go. It's a it's a giving up of some sort. It's like you're giving up to a higher power, But more often than that, like, it it's it's not a bad thing because when you once you realize what you're giving up, once you realize what you're surrendering, you're not losing anything.
JClay:Because the thing is that what you love to do, you don't have to surrender it because you love doing it. You would never surrender it because it's part of who you are. Like, you would if somebody paid you or didn't pay you, you would do those things that you just love doing. So there's no need to surrender that. But when you're doing what those things are that you love, sometimes you add extra things that you don't because you feel, like you said, you have to control this aspect of it, that aspect of it, and you find yourself in a situation where you're not even enjoying what you do enjoy.
JClay:And you're like, man, I I don't I don't know what to do, man. I I can't do it. Do I do I keep on going this route? Do I surrender and then give up that which I love? And and that's a key part too that I wanna talk about because surrendering is not giving up what you love.
JClay:It's it's gaining back what you love more than anything.
Troy Washington:Also, just to add to that, surrendering is also not surrendering forever. Sometimes you surrender things in a moment in order to help you move forward. And and the thing that comes to my mind is literally writing a song. And there have been plenty of times where I was adamant that I'm about to do this right now. It's nothing I, like, I cannot do anything until I get this done.
Troy Washington:And then I was stuck, you know. And then the moment I decided to, you know what, let me just move around, you know, probably step into a new room or whatever and really just kinda gave up gave, in this I don't wanna say give had gave up, but, I mean, essentially, surrender and say it will come to me when it's supposed to. It immediately came to me. It's funny, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:So so what what I was gonna ask you and anybody watching, like, do you have a story of surrender where you straight up was like, man, I give up. I'm I'm I I quit or I'm done. And, like, What was the aftermath for that? Not not something you did just yesterday, but like maybe years ago or something. Did it did it work out favorably?
JClay:Was it unfavorably? Like, did you never pick it up again? Do you have any examples of that?
Troy Washington:I'm I'm trying to run through my mind real quick and see if I can think of anything that I just really just gave up, and then what was the outcome of it. You know, I I guess I can say, school. You know what I'm saying? What and and when I'm talking about school, I'm talking about college. So, I went to college.
Troy Washington:I didn't know why I was going to college. It was kinda just bestowed upon me, you know, with my family and, you know, what people felt like you should do, so I went. And when I went, I didn't have a plan. But even though I didn't have a plan, I tried to fight for it because it was more about not letting everybody down more than satisfying anything that I wanted for myself. And, I I mean, I I won't say that I gave it my best shot, but I I gave it a shot within the the amount of interest that I could apply to it.
Troy Washington:Right? Yeah. And, eventually, one day, I literally did just give it up. I was just like, you know, I need to let go. And I I I would have to say that, you know, the the the biggest thing that I I felt like came from that was freedom.
Troy Washington:And and and the reason why I say freedom is because, my mind was wrapped up in what everybody else wanted at the time, and I felt like I was in a prison. And so just giving up allowed me to open up to see what I really wanted to do and excel, which in turn, you know, the the the disappointment that I gave to myself for other people turned into, more of a proud. Oh, I know that people are proud of me now, but that was all because I gave up on something that I wasn't seeing eye to eye within the sense. Go ahead.
JClay:Gotcha. Yeah. Something that came to mind too. It it often I mean, it also, has to deal with school. And I probably shared it on here before, but I remember that my senior year I started my senior year and my financial aid got taken down.
JClay:So it was like where it was a thousand. It was a hundred, for example. I don't remember the exact number, but I can no longer afford school. And if it's like if I was on scholarship and financial aid, that's how I made it through school. And so I was like, Okay, well, let me do what I can.
JClay:I apply for every scholarship, talk to my department head, did everything that I knew that I could do. I didn't I didn't reach out to my parents just because, like, that's that's a big bill to pay. I don't want to spring that on nobody. Like, it's, you know but also, I didn't know what would happen. Like, I didn't know if I if I got kicked out of school, where would I stay?
JClay:Where would I live? Because I was on campus. How would I get home? I don't have any money to fly back home. Like like, none of this.
JClay:I don't have any of these answers. And I was like, shoot. I'm not gonna tell nobody either because I know people might just worry or I don't know. I I don't know what might happen, but something says just don't tell nobody. Just keep going to class.
JClay:What they gonna do? Like, make them kick you out. So I, kept going to class. The deadline came. And on that day, my department head ran after me like, oh, Jelani, I've been I've been looking for you.
JClay:We we got a, we got a scholarship that just came in. We sent it to the financial office, and you're good to go. What? And, again, it was cool because I I literally did everything I could do. I gave it up.
JClay:I prayed about it, of course, and it worked out. And it it it made things easier because if I was stuck worrying about where I'm gonna live, who how I'm gonna go from a to b, it was literally too much for me to handle so much so that I was like, I'm not I'm not putting myself through that. We just we just gonna see what happens. And I I've been I've been using that a lot in my life. I haven't always done that, but when I do, it always works out.
JClay:Always.
Troy Washington:Yeah. And the other thing I I think that comes to my mind is realizing you don't realize what's working for you anyway. Like, you you you not it's kind of it's the the the mentality of when you plant a seed. You can never see the seed growing that comes out of the soil, but it's always growing at some point. Right?
Troy Washington:And so the reality of it is, a lot of times when you're not willing to surrender is because you don't want to acknowledge that that you cannot see. You don't want to believe that you're or, you know, getting deeper and getting stronger and getting bigger. You don't wanna believe that, you know, if I just wait just a little bit longer, I'm gonna see that stem pop out of the soil. And I I I and and so what what you end up doing is you start watering that plant too much before it can actually sprout and drown the plant. Right?
Troy Washington:Yeah. And so, you know, that's just kinda how I think about that. And, again, you know, I I I really realize that I do this on a on a consistent basis, and I think this is something that we kinda live with, because you have so many different aspects of your life that some things you are really surrendering to. And I would challenge you to look at the things that you're very successful or you're very happy or the things that bring you the most joy or uplifting people in your family and see how much of a hand you have in it, even though it's tied to you. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And, similar to this about, like, the art of surrender, there have been times where I've I've okay. You know how you wanna make a change in your life. You're like, I'll make a change in my life. I'm a do this.
JClay:I'm a do this. And you start going. But then all of a sudden, the unthinkable happens. You're like, come on now. Like, as soon as I start, as soon as I get rolling, this happens.
JClay:Well, that's more of a blessing than a curse because, again, surrender. Like, you know what? Like, I I can't do nothing about that. That that was I I can't that couldn't have been planned for. This was a chance happening.
JClay:I had nothing to do with this. I'm still gonna keep trusting. And if you do that, it's actually better because because one, it happened early in your change and not later when that could have been, like, really, really devastating, even though it was never really devastating. But it helped you reframe things and realize, like you said, how strong you really are in this moment. And it's like, oh, anything can happen, and I can always bounce back.
JClay:Like, just just when you really know that for yourself that no matter anything can happen and and you can always bounce back. But not only that, whatever happens happens for a reason because it's making you stronger. It's it's getting you to pay attention to something that you weren't paying attention to that actually gets you to that goal faster. It's it's it's it's cool to just, like, you know what? I'm not gonna I'm not gonna judge this situation.
JClay:I'm just gonna
Troy Washington:go with it. And I wanna read what Brian Garrison said. Well, shout out. That's my my my little cousin. He said trials come as a test of faith and growth.
Troy Washington:And, yeah. Straight up, man. You know, again, everything that we go through, you can use as a a leap board or something that's sucking you down like quicksand. It's just it's just ultimately your choice. And, you know, again, when I when I think about, you know, the art of surrender and, I I guess, you know, just using that as an example, the positive and negative of it.
Troy Washington:It's just because the the the the word surrender kinda has a a negative connotation. It's tied to what you were saying earlier. It it it makes you feel like you've you've given up. And, again, we try to dissociate ourselves from things. In turn, it makes life hard because we're not willing to either change the definition to make it, help us move forward versus, you know, have a stagnated but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I I wanna read what, what Tipsy picks it on Instagram said. I I wish your mind, but people wouldn't understand. You will be surprised. Like like, people people are at different parts of their of their journey.
JClay:And anything can help. Anything can share. And like the fact that you're here today and the fact that everyone that's watching is watching today is meant to be shared on some level. So I mean, but, you know, if you feel open to sharing it, sharing it, we'll we'll, read it to everyone that's watching.
Troy Washington:And and shout out to Tipsy Pick as well. And I and I want to add on to that by saying that's also a part of the art of surrender. So, you know, use what what what you're holding, what you have, you never know where it can go and who it can help. But the thing is, being in control of a narrative that's not to be controlled is the things that stagnate us in life. You know what I'm saying?
Troy Washington:And, again, I I I get it, you know, because I have those same thoughts too. Somebody's gonna think I'm crazy for feeling the way that I feel. But the moment that I allow myself to let go and just express myself, then I make those connections, those, you know, those bonds that last for forever because that person felt the exact same as me. You know what I'm saying? And so, you know, again, as you know, away from that point, but the same point, that not surrendering, that trying to control dictates so much of us.
Troy Washington:And, also, it you know, I said it stagnates and it slows us down, but it also, alienates separates us because you don't realize that we are all a bigger we all a big piece of the puzzle together. And if we were all able to let go I mean, ultimately, we know this world would be a better place, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. No. I I agree. And I and I I wanna pivot for a sec, like, still of in for the art of surrender, but I wanna talk about, why control is an illusion. Because because, again, like, that's that's one of the main reasons we don't surrender is because we wanna be in control of everything.
JClay:We wanna say that, okay. This has to happen this way. This is the only way that this miracle can happen. Even though there are a 1000000, 1000000000, trillion ways miracles can happen, but we try to say, no, I want it to happen this way, maybe with these people involved, maybe this amount of money, this amount of whatever, heal this in this way, like like all of these things. But we we are we are limiting ourselves so greatly.
JClay:But, yeah, do you have anything
Troy Washington:to share with you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I I would tell you this, bro.
Troy Washington:So how I know control is an illusion, doc, is because control has a domino effect tied to it. And I'm a tell you about a situation with me and my wife so that way you know. And when I when I say it has a domino effect or it has magnetism, more control control creates more control. So more more surrender creates more surrender. So what I'm and I'm gonna show you.
Troy Washington:Right? This past week, they had an event at my at, well, no. It wasn't a bit. It's because we're into the holidays, and my 6 year old son, Brody, was was going to take gifts to school for his teachers. He has 2 teachers.
Troy Washington:Right? And so my wife, she went out and, you know, Brody with her, and they picked out 2 candles. 1 for 1 teacher, 1 for the other teacher. Right? And so when on the night before he was gonna take the stuff to school, she was like, well, I need to put these in a bag because we wanna put them in a bag so that way you, you know, what her whatever her reasoning was.
Troy Washington:Right? And he said, I don't wanna put it in the bag. I don't I don't wanna put it in the bag. And she's like, nah. We're gonna put it in the bag, because you don't give people gifts without putting it in the bag.
Troy Washington:Right? And so I'm I'm I'm sitting back and observing this. Right? So this is her controlling the situation. Again, at least this is how how I'm processing it at the time.
Troy Washington:Right? And he was like, well, I I don't wanna I don't wanna put it in a bag. And he said, well, I'm just not gonna take it then. Right? And then I and, again, this is where the control started to magnify itself.
Troy Washington:So I say, hey. Why he gotta put it in a bag? He don't need to put it in a bag. And so, again, now I'm drawn in, and now I'm trying to control the situation in the exact same way that she trying to control the situation. Right?
Troy Washington:And even outside of that, her mom is into the side. She's like, well, I don't get what so everybody so now we've created a a chaotic type of environment. No. We're not mad or anything like that, but it's a real debate. Like, no bag bag.
Troy Washington:No bag. No bag. You know, bag or whatever. And in the moment when one of us just let it go, the entire momentum of the conversation just dissipated. It just went away.
Troy Washington:And the situation actually resolved itself at the end of the day. He ended up taking them in his backpack, but not in a bag. You get what I'm saying? And it it just goes to show that controlling the situation created more controlling of the situation, which created more control than the situation didn't which didn't resolve anything. We're gonna have that.
JClay:I love that. I I wanna read it what Tipsy Pick said real quick on, IG. I've shared it over the years with people closest to me, and it's always turned around on me. So I don't know how to express it anymore. My feelings are real, but no one cares.
JClay:To you, I I would say one, we care. This is why we're here and we're we're asking about it. But but one thing, too, is even let go that you shared it before. Like, let go of the idea that people have heard it before. Let it let go of the idea that that people don't understand and just just try.
JClay:I mean, maybe maybe they don't understand. Maybe they won't ever. So what? May you know what I mean? Like like or maybe they will.
JClay:Like but but as long as you're holding on to that, they can't ever it's hard to even experience that they can or if they can. There there've been there's been so many moments that I I've done something similar where I'm like, man, it's always happened this way. It's always this way. And I wasn't even willing to see the other things that were that were happening in opposition until I was like, you know what? Let me try something different.
JClay:I tried it my way for a 100 years. I I still haven't got what I got, what I wanted. What do I have to lose? And it's like almost in that instance of surrender, of control and all of that, it's just like, man, I see this now. Thank you.
JClay:I I I was blind to this. I apologize to those that I I mighta brought negative energy to, but I appreciate it as well because it was needed to get me to this point.
Troy Washington:Bro, listen to me. Story of my life. So listen. We know what we know, and we know what we don't know when we find out, and it's just kinda how that thing goes. And the funniest thing about it and and and, again, I'm just gonna put myself on front front street.
Troy Washington:So and if I if if Tipsy Pick is who I think it is, you know I love you because I don't even want you know you can't tell me that because I care. Now I don't care how much we talk, but you should know that I care, number 1. But, story of my life. You know what I'm saying? Like, here's the deal.
Troy Washington:I could be a millionaire right now, but I'm not a millionaire. The reason why I'm not a millionaire is because of what you're saying, doing the same thing over and over again. And, and and again, I'm telling you, this is me trying to control everything. Right? Control what people think.
Troy Washington:Control how, this product is received. Control where it goes. Control how I look. The only thing that matters, because and only thing that matters, Troy, is the fact that it doesn't matter what anybody thinks about anything that I'm doing. It doesn't matter what anybody how anybody feels about anything that I'm doing.
Troy Washington:Everything that happens is purposeful. Even when people get murdered, there's a reason again, and I'm not saying go murder it. Like, I that's not but I'm just saying everything that's happening serves us some kind of way. Everything that you've gone through serves you some kind of way. Holding it in.
Troy Washington:And I'm not talking about tell us. I'm talking about from even being able to being the air for yourself to hear, because that's the only thing that matters. That's the only thing that matters. Holding it in, preventing it from being in the air for you to hear as if it's not important, it's for you. You gotta understand that it is important.
Troy Washington:Everything that you've experienced, everything that you've gone through is the reason why I could even be talking to you right now, and I am happy to be talking to you. And, I wanna shout out to, Brian as well again. He said every message isn't for everyone. Some people are open to receive it. That's who your focus should be on.
Troy Washington:And, again, just to kinda piggyback on that, all your your focus should be only on you. And, again, I I I didn't say anything to tell you to tell us here, but I want you to understand that the ultimate power, is surrendering to yourself. Right? Like oh, go ahead, Jay.
JClay:No. No. I thought you were done. Go ahead. Go ahead.
Troy Washington:Okay. Yeah. All again, just to render to yourself, everything in front of us is hurdles that we've created. My hurdle to my million my it's like it's literally stuff that I've placed in front of me, and I am resistant to letting go, which is the reason why I sit in front of you today telling what I tell, revealing that I'm learning and understanding how to get over my own hump. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and I I love that. And I wanna I wanna add an an alternate alternative viewpoint to to Brian. Brian, if you're open to it about that every message isn't for everyone. So it's kind of the it's kind of the, like, the the control surrender thing.
JClay:Like, in in understanding your relationship to the all, to the to the greater higher power. Once it once it was brought to my attention that everything that's in front of you is here for you right now, It takes on a a different dynamic. So it's like even if you pick up on a message that might not have been intended for you, if you heard it, it was for you. If you see something, it's for you. Even on social media, like, if if you take the time to be on social media to open yourself up to all of these unique ideas that people bring through when you're scrolling, it's meant for you to hear it.
JClay:Even if it's meant for you to say, oh, let me get off social media. I don't need to be hearing this right now. Like, even that's part of that that that message. And and once you accept that that's how the universe is is communicating with you and and and that's how God can be communicating with you, it changes everything. It it makes it easier to navigate because you're like, why is this happening to me?
JClay:Like, oh, there must be a lesson here for me. And when you when you take that moment of pause, that moment of surrender, you'll instantly see it and, like, gotcha.
Troy Washington:Gotcha. So so check this out, man. When I was and this is, just kinda piggyback from my from my, little cousin, Bryant. Stuff that you don't know about me. Well well, you do know about me, but just kinda some of the story behind it.
Troy Washington:So when I was probably 14 I still remember. I was, like, 14 or 15 when my grandmother died. That's who I lived with. And when I moved, when she passed away, I moved in with my uncle. My uncle, I'm just gonna call him, Kendrick.
Troy Washington:Right? I moved in with my uncle Kendrick. And, Kendrick, you know, we were just riding around one day, and he told me he was like, man, my so so he told me he's like, hey, Troy, man, my money getting low. I might have to sell some dope. And I was looking at him.
Troy Washington:I was like, Kendrick, you crazy. You know? In my mind, I don't believe you. It's it's not crazy. Now, again, this is going back to the every message is not for everybody.
Troy Washington:Right? The reality of it is, I'm 14. I'm impressionable, meaning I can be swayed. I think you be, convinced to do anything, and then I could be in reverence of the people that are telling me things. But, ultimately, I think what's important in that moment was, number 1, when I realized that he was telling the truth, I had a choice.
Troy Washington:Right? I had a choice to make whether I was gonna feel like I was gonna be in control because what he was giving me at the moment was, hey. Right now, we don't have money. Here's a way we can control the situation. Or I can surrender and just trust that I will end up right here in front of you today.
Troy Washington:Now shout out to my uncle Kendrick. When I tell you I revere him still to this day, love this dude. Like, he did everything for me. And and, again, the messaging from that point when it got real was our messaging that you would think is not for me. Because, again, I could follow in a pathway.
Troy Washington:But the the other part of it was it was enlightening to me, and I think he realized that it was enlightening to me because he saw the steps that I was taking to move in the other direction. Had I not got that information, maybe I'm not maybe I'm not able to make an educated guess that I need to. And my friends just come to me and say, hey, Troy. Here you go. I just moved a certain different way.
Troy Washington:So, again, it might not always appear on its surface that everything is for everybody, but everything is for everybody. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah, man. There there are so many I call it, like, stopping moments that just stop you in your tracks from just random places. It could be something on the side. It could be just I don't know. It it it can be something that just comes on the radio real quick.
JClay:It could be a song in a particular moment, and it is it's it's different being on the other side of this because I remember, like, I was oblivious to all of this, but once, like, once the the glass is cracked and you just hear how you're always being communicated with or 2, it's like, man, this is this this truly is a magical world we live in. This is like we we truly are supported more than we realize. And and having on a take on a world by yourself is not fun. It is gonna make you bitter. Like, you you you may hear stories of people like, man, it's lonely at the top.
JClay:It's it's so lonely at the top. So then they stop you from wanting to better yourself because you're accepting that message, and it it's just not true. Maybe they they did it in a certain way, or maybe they don't see all the support that they've actually all always had. But I I I said I was to say, like, just just just start to to to pay attention a little more and and see because, you know, it it it might not be the case. It it it might be the case for you that every message is not for you, but I just wanted to give you the alternative so that you could try for yourself.
Troy Washington:And and that's the reason why I issued the challenge earlier. You know? Just do a inventory of your life, and this is for everybody. And shout out to Brian. Appreciate you being on here, man.
Troy Washington:Do an inventory on your life, and think about all the things that you have. Think about all the times that you feel good, you know, and and think about how much control you have over the situation. A lot of times you don't. You know, yesterday, or or Sunday, you know, my my, my basketball team, my little kids, they had, you know, a little party for the for the holidays. Now mind you, all the other interactions is practice and do this and, you know, me putting my hands and doing everything.
Troy Washington:Right? And and also playing games, and we win games, and it's nothing like a winning game. You always feel good about it. Right? But when we we were at that Christmas party, they were just playing basketball, and they were just free, and we were just watching.
Troy Washington:And the feeling that I got at that moment was like no other. There was pride. There was happiness. There was joy. And the craziest part about it is I had nothing to do with it.
Troy Washington:All I did was drop them off there, and I was just watching. And, again, you might say, well, that's your kids. Of course, you're gonna be, happy whenever you, you know, you see them doing something. Right? But I'll use even perfect mode as an example.
Troy Washington:You know, we advertise or I I won't say advertise. We post on TikTok all the time. Right? And a and a lot of the that is because we're trying to control the amount of flow of traffic that we get there. Right?
Troy Washington:But then there's these tie and, again, I'm always happy to see myself doing what I do, what I love to do there. Right? But then there's also times where you look and say, hey, Troy. Did you know we had, like, you know, 8,000 views on this? And did did you do something with them?
Troy Washington:Or did you tell somebody? And I'm like, nah. We didn't do nothing. And then there there's, like, this joy that comes over me because it's like, dang. I didn't even do anything besides b.
Troy Washington:So, you know, that's that's how I feel about that. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I I I love that because it it's true. Like, when when you have when you when you progress, but you had nothing to do with it except just do the little part that you agreed to do, it's beautiful. And similar to that, so okay. We're talking about the topic is the art of surrender, how to trust the universe with your next move.
JClay:So we we we talked about, you know, we talked about what surrender really is and and why control is an illusion, but exactly how? Like, how do you surrender? How do you trust the universe? Like, what's the if if we have some some some practical steps to take that people can try, to to see if this is something they wanna introduce into their lives, what would that look like?
Troy Washington:So so number 1, I'm a start where where we ended it, and I I'm glad you kinda went to this. And that's why I said, just take an inventory. Just look and see what's really happening with you. See if you actually see if you can see yourself surrendering anything. Like, recognize if that's even a behavior that you have, which I know that you have, but I'm just saying you need to be able to identify so that way you can replicate it.
Troy Washington:But if I can say number, my my number one would actually be to meditate. Like, before this show, I told you I did a 5 minute meditation, and I'm always ready to do the show, you know, regardless. But I did the 5 minute meditation, and I came out of it so free. And it felt so good. And I was I was ready before, but I felt like I was even more ready because I let go of trying to be ready.
Troy Washington:So, I would definitely say meditate.
JClay:Get and and to what you said to your your first point about take inventory, I'm I'm with you there because it's almost like, what do I wanna do? Like like straight up or what do I want? I don't even want to do just what do I want. And a lot of times when we look at our lives and we look at what we want, it's not the same thing. And if we look at what we're doing and what we wanna do is is not the same thing because we've added all of these things to try to control what it is we wanna do instead of just doing what we wanna do.
JClay:Like, what would happen if we really just did what we wanted to do? And that that that that one, man, that has been, a struggle because I will go into moments where I would just do what I wanna do, and it's it's great. It's like the greatest thing ever. And then something happened. It's like, oh, man.
JClay:I gotta do what I don't wanna do to try to make up for this, but I'm I'm getting caught in that cycle. And the sooner that I let go of the control, it brings me right back to that joy. It brings me right back to that peace. And and I can honestly say that I'm I've been aligning my life this year toward what I want, like, what I truly want, and and seeing if what I want is really what I want. Because sometimes we see somebody have something, but, like, oh, I want that.
JClay:But then you get it and you're like, nah, I don't I don't really want that. So, so, yeah, take taking that inventory, checking in with yourself, and and knowing what it is you want.
Troy Washington:Yeah. So and so I guess to kinda add to that is just being honest about the inventory, like, being honest about it. Because, again, and, again, I'm using myself as an example. There are things that I've lied to myself that I said that I wasn't controlling or trying to control, but I was. Right?
Troy Washington:And I think that, being honest with yourself about this being the controlling nature of you, is a big stride in that as well, because it it's the it's the thing that's gonna help you to be able to change it. But that that's my, my third one.
JClay:Yeah. I I would also say, practice practicing gratitude. Because, a lot of times, like, the the the things that we have right now are stuff we wanted years ago or previously that the things we're experiencing right now, we we brought into our awareness previously and said, oh, I would like to experience that one day. But then once we actually are in the act of experiencing it, we've moved on to the next thing. We're on to the next thing of what we want to experiencing, not taking time to appreciate this and just show gratitude for where we are.
JClay:And again, when you when you show that gratitude for where you are and what you have, it's it's almost a reversal. It it brings you back to this moment and you realize I really have it good. Like, I'm I can I can relax? I don't have to control anything anymore. I've I've been in the I've been in the space of control for so long that I never realized I can celebrate.
JClay:I can kick my feet up and and appreciate all the hard work, all the grinding I did because look at what I got. My life is great. Well, go ahead.
Troy Washington:Now so it's crazy, though. Like, I I again, I'm running inventory on myself as we speak. And it it's it's funny that in my own mind, at least that's the way that I can see it in, you know, my my my history in my mind is that everything that I wanted, I kinda just decided. Because when you said, you know, everything that we have now, you know, we worked on it years ago. Right?
Troy Washington:And I and I think to myself that everything that I wanted, I decided, and I didn't I didn't figure out how to do it. It just happened. And, again, I know that I took you know, I'm not I'm not oblivious to the fact that I took steps that were necessary in order to facilitate the stuff that I see. But what I'm saying is there was no drawn out elaborate plan for me to make it happen. It was just like, this is what's gonna happen, and then I just started to walk.
Troy Washington:And not trying to have complete control over everything or how I felt about what I was seeing, and, ultimately, this is where I'm at. And I think that more of the hindrance has come because at some point, I didn't decide on more. You know what I'm saying? Because I didn't believe for whatever, you know, reason or I feel like things were unattainable, and so, therefore, my steps in the way that I walk were not directed to that. Right?
Troy Washington:And and it go back to what you were saying earlier. But the the again, when I talk about the the art of surrender, it's me surrendering the thought process of knowing that it can still be different than what it is today.
JClay:Yeah. We'll
Troy Washington:go ahead, Jay.
JClay:I wanna read what, what Tipsy Pick said on IG. I'm so tuned in with the universe so much that I can see what's going to come with myself and others. I try to change it, but the universe doesn't allow me to by not allowing the people that's a part of it not changing their choices. So the universe forces me to go through what I try to avoid. So that way the universe forces me to give up control and go through whatever it wants me to go through.
JClay:And and and I love that because oftentimes the the the universe or or the god energy, the love energy knows us better than we know ourselves. Because sometimes we we've we've covered what we really want in favor of these new ideas that had nothing to do with this, that we accept it. So we're covered in these ideas that have nothing to do with us. And the universe is like, no. We gotta get back to you.
JClay:We gotta rip this apart. You have to face this. And sometimes we do everything else except to face what we know we need to face because we don't wanna look at it like it's too painful. Too painful right now. I wanna look at that.
JClay:I don't wanna deal with that. Like, let me let me go do this. Let me go do that. But when you finally look at look at it and sit with the the most painful thing, you realize it's not that bad at all. Why did I run away from this?
JClay:Why was I so afraid of this? And it and it ends up being the best thing ever. But a great example of that, how I felt like the universe was just preventing me from doing something I really wanted was, the group me and you had, Troy, with Ralo, 5th floor. Like, we had we had plans of, like, we want to get on the radio, getting rotation, do all this. And it was like we kept hitting these walls with getting in rotation that had nothing to do with us, like people dying.
JClay:That was the decision maker after they said yes. People, program directors getting fired or something after they said yes. Other things, people going back on their words is all kind of stuff that it's like, man, why? Why? Why?
JClay:Why? And although I didn't see it now, I'm so grateful because the fulfillment I get from the type of music I make now is like something I don't think I would have experienced had I made it in that room. Not to say that that our music wouldn't have brought joy because it did bring joy, but this is different. Like, it's lasting impact. It's it's helpful.
JClay:Like and even even perfect mode, I don't think perfect mode would have come to be in a way like that. So even when it looks like the universe is blocking you trust, like, is is for a reason that you're getting blocked. You might not understand it for years to come. You might not understand it for, like, you know, a couple months either, but just just relax into it and know it's it's there's a reason. And and when and when you realize that too, it makes it easier in that transition because now you're open and receptive to it.
JClay:Man, so much. I gotta say that, like like, so
Troy Washington:so much because I I feel her. You know what I'm saying? Like, I I feel her. And and what you're saying is, like, 100. Like, you hit that mug.
Troy Washington:You hit the nail on the head. But what I like to what I like to think about, the way that I think about it is is the loop. The thing that I've seen drowned more and, again, there's no way for me to quantify this to give you no numbers. I'm just telling you what I witnessed with my own eyes, and I've also experienced it myself. Myself.
Troy Washington:The thing that drowns more people in life is this its repetitive nature. It's that repetitive natures of I gotta do this again. And the thought of all the things that I could do, I've already, x'd out half of them because they're not realistic or, the people that I'm around, they're the people that I have to stay around because that's all I have. Or, this job that I'm working, I gotta stay there because I don't you know, it's just out the the repetitive nature of life drowns people. And when I say I felt it too, it's it's part of the reason why people go through a midlife crisis because it's like another day.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? I know I wanna be alive, but it's just another day. And and this world is not, it's not what I want, so my midlife crisis is gonna be for me to shake it up. Right? And so the reason why I say it like that is because I, myself, have woke up before and said, dang.
Troy Washington:I mean, I got a 1000000 ideas. I feel like I'm just one of the smartest people in the world. I I make music. I try to help people. I do all of these things.
Troy Washington:And for whatever reason, this mug is not looking the way that I want it to look. How can I how am I not talking to a 1000000 people right now? How come my my CD didn't go to a 1000000 people? Like, how come like, now listen to me. I'm telling you what really happened.
Troy Washington:But even in that, it was I'm I'm telling you how I'm controlling the way that I'm received. But the reality of it is, how am I receiving myself is exactly what I'm saying. And so the thing that I tell you because the thing that I tell myself is that everything that I thought is still happening. Every it it doesn't look like it because I haven't trained my eyes to recognize what I'm looking at. So I keep looking at everything the exact same.
Troy Washington:I can't my mind is not changing, so I'll look at everything the same. And, you know, I would if I could give any advice for you, the again, same stuff that I said to myself because I woke up like that in many days. Look at different direction. Because right now, you're looking at some things that are gonna be in your life. I was looking at things that are gonna be a part of my life, but when I looked over to the other side, I I didn't get rid of it, but I magnified something else.
Troy Washington:That was there too, but I minimized it for the whole time that, you know, I was hyper focused on the other. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. So but before I respond to what you said, because it's it's some good stuff I wanna respond to you, you kinda step into the the next, section that we're gonna get into, which is common challenges and how to overcome them because you were talking about the repetitive nature. And so one thing in that you when you were asking questions like, why is this happening to me? Why does this keep happening? Why is this?
JClay:When you do that, like, I've done it before we've all done it. We're not even looking for the answer, but the answer is always that why is this happening to me? If you just pause after that question and just go within, you're gonna hear the answer. It is gonna be so clear and you're like, shoot. But again, we don't wanna look we don't want the answer.
JClay:We just wanna complain. We just wanna not be in that space so we can say, oh, see, it never works out for me, because because on some level, we think that that gives us attention and love when really the best love we can give ourselves is to is to answer ourselves, is to give ourselves honest answers and see ourselves how we really are. And it's important to when we when we run down those questions, pause like have that pause to to see the answer because it could be a simple thing. It could be a complex thing, but it's I can honestly say it's always the answer has always been there when I stop to look at it. And it's always profound.
JClay:Like, shoot, this is why this makes so much sense why I'm not here here right now. And then also a common challenge, I think, to kind of mentioned it about like others and how others might repeat the same behavior around us. And it's like, man, I don't like this behavior that they're doing. You know, how can I change that? And the thing is, we can't we can't change anybody's behavior.
JClay:But there's a quote, I think, in the bible, Jesus said, like, forgive 77 times 77 times, which which is a lot of times. Like, I'm not supposed to forgive that much. But I understand now because the more you do it, you realize that it has nothing to do with the person or their action. Has nothing to do with it. It has to do with you and your definition of how you're judging them and judging how they're supposed to be, period.
JClay:Now the the thing is we all wanna act how we wanna act whenever we wanna act, and we should give others that courtesy too. Now that that that doesn't mean that this person is gonna be around you because you're you have this energetic field. Like, I don't like this. I I don't I don't I would prefer to have someone who is kind. I would prefer to be around people who are who are magnetic in a positive way in the way that I am magnetic.
JClay:I would rather have this. But, again, we don't always give ourselves that option to see that and and say what we want. We're just focusing on what we don't want. And that attraction is attracting us more what we don't want because that's what we're choosing to focus on. So so I say I was just to say is to focus on what you want and just let that be the guide and just just be okay with what everybody else does because it doesn't matter.
JClay:You're gonna get more of what you want or more of what you focus on.
Troy Washington:Yo. So I'm a tell you what's tied about what you just said, that focus on focus on what you want, because you get what you want all the time. It's just kinda it's just kinda the way that might work. You know? Even the algorithm on Facebook, TikTok, when you look for something, more of that comes up.
Troy Washington:When you say, man, I'm a buy a red car. You see red cars everywhere. Like, the universe is just funny that way. But the the thing that comes to my mind more than anything, bro, and I and I told you this story before, but I'm a say it again. When I was when when we were younger, high school, you know, I got a group of brothers.
Troy Washington:Shout out to the Dubs. And, you know, we all grew up in this, you know, same area. We all went to the same middle school, high school together. And in the beginning, when I was around them, you know, if somebody want to fight, I was always ready to fight. Like, let's like, whatever.
Troy Washington:Right? And so now mind you, this is me not taking an inventory of what I truly want in life. What I wanted what I what I what I wanted in life what I wanted in a moment was to show people that I was down for them. And, again, I wasn't looking at the many ways that I could show people I got your back no matter what other than what I knew. So in my mind, if they talking about fighting, let's go.
Troy Washington:Now the funny thing about it was this this is how the algorithm works. I I wanna show people that I will fight for them, so guess what's gonna happen? Opportunities are gonna come up for me to show that I can fight or I will fight for people. And so what happened is whenever something was going down I'm not saying my friends were purposely trying to get me in trouble, but when something happened, they were like, hey, Troy. Guess what?
Troy Washington:It's going down. I'm one of the first people they called because they know I'm re I'm ready. Let's go. So I'm showing up. And then one day, I realized that I wasn't ready for this physical body to die yet.
Troy Washington:Right? Now mind you, the route that I'm going now, again, your physical body can die anytime. Don't don't don't get it twisted. Right? But the way that I was going, I was a little I was making a pathway for that mug to come sooner.
Troy Washington:Not only that, I was creating a world with me and my brothers on how I'm going to put because they could change at any time. But they'll put me in a place to say, okay. Well, this is what Troy is for. And, again, I can't fault them because I'm creating the world that I wanna be in. So, eventually, one day I say, you know what?
Troy Washington:I don't want this physical body to die because of that. Right? And then, eventually, I stopped getting those calls. And I started getting other calls from the same friend because, again, I don't know what their world contains. Right?
Troy Washington:But they have moved me to whatever box I fit in. And, again, for myself, now I'm, I I I'm in a world that I would rather be in. And, again, that's all based off control. I didn't lose or gain anything besides the fact that the world kind of manipulated itself to fit what I was trying to do. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. I I I love that you said that because, again, like, we we have certain people, like, well, why they only call me with this all the time? It's because that's that's what we allowed in a sense. And this is not to say to shun them or do away with them, but to really look at yourself again.
JClay:Like, man, have I have I been vocal about this? Like, what what what have I done that causes this? And I don't want this anymore, so I should just be real with them. Like, man, I appreciate you reaching out. I'm not for that anymore.
JClay:Like, I'm I'm all about this now. And and and and be real. Like, everybody respects realness. Whether they say that or not. They they respect it.
Troy Washington:Go ahead. And and I wanna give this a tipsy pick if you're still on. If you're not on, then maybe you catch this later. But one of the biggest things that kinda helped me as well was realizing what I what people really thought about me. Because when I realized what people really thought about me, I was able to surrender what I thought they were thinking.
Troy Washington:So I said that to say this because so that way you can hear it from me. I know I don't see you all the time. I know I don't interact with you all the time. But from what I see again, I don't know what you think I think about you, but I think that you're a loving mother who cares a lot about her daughters, that does everything she can to put them in a a good situation. I think that you're a loving wife that, is willing to stick behind, your guy, through thick and thin.
Troy Washington:I think that you're somebody that likes to be entertained, you know, as I've seen you at some some parties, but I don't think that anything negative about you and as far as what you're able to accomplish in life with the means that you have, I think that you can do anything that you put your mind to. It's that simple. And I don't have a negative thought about you, what you've gone through, or what you're going through, or the relationship that you and I've been able to have besides nothing but respect. And if you can realize that somebody like me is thinking this about you, you should know that there are other people thinking no matter what definitions or thoughts you may have given yourself about us and free yourself to know that you are in ultimate ultimate control. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I I I love that, Andy. You you reminded me of this. It is to to check-in with ourselves too to make sure we're not sending the universe mixed messages of what we want. Like like, really taking the time to be sure with what we want.
JClay:Because, you know, sometimes we want stuff in certain situations and in other situations, we don't. And if that's the case, if we're if we're different on certain specific things, be vocal about it, be real about it. Like, okay, I want this, but only in this setting. Or I want this or, you know, or or ask. You were like like, show me.
JClay:Help me align more with what I want because I don't know what I want. And opportunities will come up, but don't shun those opportunities when they come up because it's just a it's a moment of recalibration. It's so easy to dismiss something when you don't want it. But but sometimes people hold on to the things they don't want, instead of just saying, no, I don't want this anymore and be done with it. But they said, no, I can't believe this always happens.
JClay:Let Let me tell everybody, let me get on the podcast and tell people what always happens to me and how I hate it so much and and this and and share all my hate with the world. And it's like, nah, just just just dismiss it and move on to what you love.
Troy Washington:Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. No.
Troy Washington:I I 100%, I 100% agree with that, man. So, you know, kinda just since we we all put a bow on it, you know, and I think that we both were kinda in agreeance with, you know, when you if you really wanna master the art of surrender, I think the biggest part is taking the inventory and seeing the things that you because, right now, there are things that you are currently surrendering, and you don't even realize you're doing it. You don't even know that that's a part of your life if you're not really looking at it. And then I would, challenge you to, you know, try to recognize the things that you're trying to control. And, you know, again, as an example for myself, when I was trying to control some things, the thing that it impacted me the most on was my emotions.
Troy Washington:It brought things like doubt, fear, you know, unhappiness, you know, all these different things because I was seeking a result sooner or faster or differently than what I thought I was supposed to get, and not, recognizing in those moments that what I got was something that was either a a a leaping board or a stepping stone or, something to help me realize that there's a choice, using my uncle as the example. And so I think that you should just really look at what you're controlling and what you're surrendering, and try to slowly, balance that out on the other side to see how it impacts you. And and it's the same thing. If if if you want a true test, look at the things that you're surrendering and start to control them and see what happens so you can see what, you know, where the balance is. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:And and to your question, Tipsy Pick said, I I'm here. So cool. Oh, thank you. Okay. We're we're we're wrapping it up, getting close to the end.
JClay:I I appreciate everybody that that rock with us, so far. And I and I wanna I wanna speak about next week's topic because it flows into this very nicely. We're talking about manifesting 101. Stop trying so hard and let good things come. And, like, it it it's it's a continuation of this.
JClay:We're gonna have a special guest, Betty Godinho, AKA Buddha Betty, who is a master manifester. I've seen it firsthand on a regular basis. And, oh, and let me let me repaste this one last time because, again, I want y'all to get on this calendar. You can subscribe to it. It'll show you all the episodes that's coming up.
JClay:As we add episodes, you will see when they are. You won't miss it. But, yeah, go ahead, Troy.
Troy Washington:Yeah. And and I just kinda piggyback on you, manifesting. We all masters of it. We just don't recognize it. And, you know, I I definitely encourage everybody to jump on it.
Troy Washington:I also wanna tell everybody thank you for joining today because without y'all, you know, we wouldn't be here. We'd be doing something, but we definitely wouldn't be here. And I hope that, you know, when we do this, we help you really to realize that you are a unique, unique, unique being, and only you can provide what you're providing. I mean, I I know we don't always maximize. We rather minimize who we are because we don't see the the beauty in the things that we've experienced in our own explanation and the way that we can regurgitate information because, again, your passion behind something is yours.
Troy Washington:Nobody else can own it. And so I hope that we help you realize your uniqueness and and if realize that you are necessary. You are a part of this big puzzle to make us whole. And if you just surrender and allow yourself to be that, man, you don't know how much greater we all become. And, you know, I also wanna say, you know, depending on where you're listening, whether you're on YouTube, may please make sure you like, share, and subscribe.
Troy Washington:If you're on TikTok, you know, share, like. You know, just anything to help us out, ask and you shall receive and we're asking. Support us. And, you know, other than that, Jay, you can go ahead and take us out of this thing, man.
JClay:Yeah. And and I and I I wanna remind y'all too, if you want to practice the art of surrender, like, introducing it to your to your world, meditate. So take time to meditate. Take time to listen to the answers of the questions you ask. Take time to take inventory of what it is you actually want.
JClay:And, of course, practice gratitude. Practice that gratitude because you I know you're thankful for some stuff right now. I know, like like you thankful right now for some stuff. Let yourself know that you're thankful for it. And, yeah, last of all, just remember you're a perfect creation made by a perfect creator.
JClay:So you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. Yeah. Let's go,
Troy Washington:baby.
JClay:If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect, welcome to perfect, where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, the spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Let's be perfect. Perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything.
JClay:Perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything. Perfect.
JClay:Everything. Anything. Anything. Perfect. Everything.
JClay:Anything. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
