S5E36: How to Rewrite the Rules of Success (And Finally Be Free)
If I reminded you that you are perfect, you argue me down or step into your perfection? To perfection. Welcome to perfection. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, a spiritual teacher, with my cohost Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor.
JClay:Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. What up?
Troy Washington:Welcome to perfect mode. And first off, let me start by telling y'all that we love y'all. We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere sharing our thoughts, hopefully, and helping you realize that you are perfect. And the reason why I can say that unapologetically is because I know that you are one of one, numero uno, you cannot be replicated, duplicated, and the only reason and I mean, the only reason you think otherwise is if you're looking at this person on the side of you and saying, I'm not them. But guess what?
Troy Washington:You are you and that's all you need. And of course, happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there and of course, it's yours truly Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor and I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher and we're about to jump on here and talk about how to rewrite the rules of success and finally and I mean, finally, be free. What up, Jay?
JClay:What up? Happy day. Happy Father's Day. Happy perfect day to all my perfect people at the perfect place at the perfect time ready to talk about this perfect topic that you perfectly need to hear about right now. Yeah, man.
JClay:This is this is a good one for sure. As as as always, we're on this success run right now. And as always, I'm feeling good.
Troy Washington:I I love the success run, bro. Like, I love it just because, number one, I I I think that we should always feel like we're in a success run if you really just take a step back and look at your life and where you are. Yeah. But I also like the fact when I recognize it without me having to take that moment to step back and realize that I'm rolling, and I have that energy, and I feel it. But when when was what what was your thoughts on this, bro?
JClay:Yeah. So so one of my thought it started with a question. Right? Because, know, you write the rules of success. Because, you know, when you think about success, there's a general idea, like, maybe money, maybe fame or notoriety.
JClay:I I don't know. It it it's different for everybody, but at the same time, there might be this collective thing with money being at the forefront. And it made me wonder, though, why does success matter at all? Like like, who said that success matters? First of all.
JClay:And then this is a real question because, of course, part of you is like, just because. It should matter. You do something, it should be successful. But, like, why? Like, for real, why?
JClay:What's what's the why behind it? Does it do something for you? Does it stroke your ego? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Is it or does the does the reverse, like, if you're not successful?
JClay:But again, what is success and why does it matter?
Troy Washington:Yeah, and I and I love that because the first thing that came to my mind was, what is a measure of success? Why do, you know, what quantifies or qualifies something as successful? Number one, again, like you said, what why does success matter at all? Because you're basing your your production of what you're doing off somebody else. But who actually sets the standard?
Troy Washington:Who sets the status quo for that? Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. No. Right. Like like, who who said, alright. This is what success is.
JClay:You must follow it. You must work hard. You must be in full service to it at all times. You must always work toward this thing, this this achievement, like this your god, and you must follow it blindly. Be successful.
JClay:This is the way to be. What is success? And why? Like like, still, there's no no no why behind it.
Troy Washington:And then, you know, on top of that, though, like, just to kinda add to it, if success is your your leading thought process, why does it have to reverberate through everything else in your life? And I think that was a big part for me. So, just looking at things that I was that I've qualified myself as being successful for and how in those given moments, I could, I guess, feel all of that and then feel like everything else in my life is successful, which you should feel anyway, but on the flip side of it, not be as successful as something that I feel like I should be and feel like the rest of my world is falling apart. And, again, it's just it's funny how we operate that way. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:It was funny too. Like, okay. So as you know, I I have a new song called Humble Yourself. And I I talked to you about this off camera, but how, like, normally, when I release a song or anything, it's it's almost like, this has to be successful. I got it.
JClay:This my my whole life depends on this song. If if this song is not successful, I'm a be a wreck. I'm a fail at everything. Like, it it's crazy, but that's just how much pressure I put on myself in the past. And this is the first time that I didn't, and it's been seeing successes that I haven't even dreamed of or even imagined because I'm not tied to it.
JClay:And I'm also free to continue to create and continue to do things. And so it is it's important to realize that not everything has to hit every benchmark, I should say. Like, because because because, again, what's the measure of success? Sometimes success could be just reaching one person and changing their lives. Sometimes success can be just going through the act of something, or sometimes success can be a certain amount of money made.
JClay:Like, it it it's it's so many things, but we don't always stop to identify those. We just say success. So I need to achieve success. I need to be productive so that I can be successful. But why?
Troy Washington:You know what's funny about this whole thought process of what the the path that we're going right now is I think about, you know, you said music, but just a general thought process that I know that many people around me have had just through my life and growing up is wanting to be a millionaire. Like, it, nobody ever says I wanna be a billionaire, not not, you know, being realistic in a sense, but most people be like, okay. I'm gonna do this and and so for for me to be a millionaire. And, you know, to set the stage for that and and have that be the the main qualifier for your success is a crazy thought process. Though we do that unintentionally and naturally all the time.
Troy Washington:Because again, I've literally heard that phrase a million times in my lifetime. And, you know, the thing that comes to my mind is, like, when you first start, if you start a workout program and you get into the push ups part of it, what they'll do is they'll say, do push ups so you can't do push ups anymore. And then when you get to that stopping point, your your level or your measure of success is the number that you hit, not some outrageous fictitious number that's not realistic, not necessarily because, I mean, anything is realistic, but realistic based off of your own frame of thought. And, you know, that's, you know, the thought that comes to my mind. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and the and the reason to that I you know, that I'm like, why? Why does this matter? Why does this matter? It's because we set our actions, you know, according to the the things we set for ourselves.
JClay:So if we don't know why we're doing something, if we don't know our intent behind it, we could be giving, undue energy to something that doesn't deserve our energy. Like, for instance, okay, because now, like, I I I no longer work at a normal nine to five. I have individual clients that I might do stuff for. It could be some coding work. It could be some coaching, just whatever whatever it is.
JClay:I have different clients And, you know, each of those clients, you have a goal. But I was thinking, I was like, man, when I had a job like the nine to five, that job is my client. Like, if I'm if I'm being honest, but I might give my manager that much power. I might give my coworker that much power, but not to say that they don't matter as people. Like, everybody as a human matters.
JClay:Yet, the me maybe appeasing to them or or doing things to their their standard doesn't matter as much as long as my client overall is happy. Who is my client in this job or who is my or like in this success measure of of what I'm moving toward, what matters? And why does it matter? And and do I care that it matters? Go ahead.
Troy Washington:And and no. No. And I I I love that train of thought because the thing that comes to my mind is I'm my own client in this life. Like, I have to do the things that make me happy but also, you know, when I think about the measure of success, you know, you're talking about the the the CD. I literally just wrote four books, right?
Troy Washington:In the past month. I wrote four books.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:Now, mind you, my mentality was and again, I could have approached this like, I'm about to sell a million books, but I never thought that because I understood that that was a success measure that wasn't my own. That was just a a habitual nature thought that you would have when you create something that you're gonna sell. I'm gonna sell a million of these. Right? And so I I told myself, you know what?
Troy Washington:The goal for me is just to write the books. So, the reason why I point that out is for two reasons. Number one is because because I wrote them, I was able to achieve success successfully achieve my goal which in turn, regardless of any sale or anything made me happy because again, my ultimate goal is to make my client happy and so, the client is like ecstatic like, man, I can't believe I did that and it's not about selling anything. It's not about making any money. It's just about me creating something outside inside of myself and and and making it come to fruition.
Troy Washington:That was the first thing. Then I think about me creating the audiobook version of one of the books. Right? And I never told anybody that the book was out. You know, I never I I just wanted to do it so that way I can experience that portion of what's going on.
Troy Washington:And of course, I want to sell a book, right? But that's not, that wasn't my primary focus. It was like, do the audiobook. So much so that I came and told you, hey, I did the audiobook. This is the way that I did it.
Troy Washington:You gave me tips on how I did it. I was excited about it. So, again, me making my client happy in ways that I didn't think, you know, thinking outside the box and then, to add, you know, a little bit more to it, I look on Audible and there's four books sold. Now, again, most people might be like, four books, that's nothing, right? But for myself, because I had no intention on promoting and selling that book, there was a whole level of joy for the four on the Audible because nobody even knows that.
Troy Washington:And so, I I say all that to say this, bro. I understood the assignment as people say. The assignment was for me to accomplish this this thing that I want that was going to make me happy regardless of how anybody else felt about it and because of that, I'm reaping benefits on the back end of it without it being a success a success goal. But go ahead, bro.
JClay:Yeah. Right. And and so what's funny in this is that, like, yeah, you know, people will hear that hear that somebody sold a million and then that becomes their benchmark. They're like, man, I gotta I gotta sell a million which is a lot. You know, when you think about it but 750,000 is a lot.
JClay:200,000 is a lot. 20,000 is a lot. Like, if you sold 5,000 books, like, that's a lot. If you if you sold a thousand, you sold 500. Like, I I said it to say that we don't give ourselves credit for all the steps along along the way just because maybe we heard a story about somebody achieving the highest thing.
JClay:And so we're not allowing ourselves to experience this joy. But as you said, the joy is in the creation. Like, you you don't know what to expect. You don't you don't even care. You you like a kid.
JClay:You're doing it out of the curiosity, out of the fun, just because you want to know for yourself. And then you go to the next step, which could be marketing it and selling it and more, which will come with its own set of of fun standards if that's the if the route you choose to take. And we often rob ourselves of certain things because we're trying to live to somebody else's standards who we didn't even have a conversation with to say, should I is this does this work for me? Is this what I truly want? Why do I want this?
JClay:Just because you had it? Like, I'm happy for you. Do I want this? Maybe. Yes.
JClay:But unless you really ask yourself these questions and see what it is you truly want, you can be on a fool's errand almost.
Troy Washington:Shout out to Yvette Espie, my my girl. You know, I hope all is well. Would you appreciate you joining us? But, bro, man, this is one of the reasons why, like, I love coaching. Right?
Troy Washington:When you talk about recognizing the successes that you're having that are not the successes of the status quo of everybody else. Just stuff that you create within yourself. And so I watch my boys, like, with the Hawkeye. I see everything. I I watched every tape.
Troy Washington:I watched every game. And I know that if if we were to quantify success in a basketball sense from the average person, it's like, how many points did you score in that game? Right? That's that's the thing that everybody wants to know and if you didn't score a certain amount of points, then, there's not a level, you didn't have a level of success that we anticipate or you should expect from yourself. But see, for me, for myself, when I get to go back and look at the game or when I'm looking at them live, I'm always trying to pick out stuff that has nothing to do with what I told them that they need to do from the standpoint of go out and score points or go out and get steals or go out and play defense.
Troy Washington:I will go and say, hey, TJ. Man, when you did that backspin in the game, that was cold, bro. I don't know where you got that mud from, but the reason why I point these things out is because, number one, I know that this is something that he feels like it's a it's a a successful thing, but he doesn't think anybody's paying attention to and so just trying to highlight things that are not the goal for everybody is always is always been important for me and and and I try to also do that for myself. Like, again, just talking about the books. Everybody wants to know how many books I sold, right?
Troy Washington:But nobody knows about me being able to get in my computer shut down and me having to get in the garage band and record it and figure that all out. How it threw I I couldn't even believe that I did it. And that's a success measure that's not a real success measure. It's just about what's on the inside coming out and making this client happy. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And it's funny too that that you brought up basketball because, you know, I play basketball Sunday mornings. And my my first goal or of a successful thing is, one, I wanna have a fun way to exercise. Basketball is that. So one, when I arrive in in that sense, I'm already successful.
JClay:But next, you would think the next thing winning. But for me, for these past few weeks, I wanted to see if I could just run the whole time. Like, just don't, like, don't take breaks when it's especially when it's our possession. Like, run down there, every change of possession, just everything because I put myself in the best position. And today, we happen to win four games straight.
JClay:And you would think that was a success because somebody, like, told me after. He was like, man, y'all y'all ran the court today. Y'all won four straight. But I I wasn't happy at that. I was happy at the fact that I was able to run, and I was able to still contribute contribute while elevating, I guess, my output, so to speak, that that I'm not used to.
JClay:And so, like, that was the main thing. It it because, of course, I missed shots. I made shots. I made defensive stops, all this other stuff, but the the success but the benchmark for me today was, yes, I was able to run the entire time, something I'd never been able to do before.
Troy Washington:But, see, to me, again, I I love that story because, again, it doesn't mean that it always is gonna work out that way when it comes to the wins and the losses. Right? But a byproduct of you making yourself happy and challenging yourself to something that had nothing to do with outside forces propelled your team. Yeah. It it again, you could've walked that day and it could have changed the whole dynamic of the way that y'all play.
Troy Washington:So, you know, I I I love that and I think about that from the standpoint of real estate as well. Every realtor, everybody that's ever become a realtor wants to be a millionaire, bro. Every single person. I've never talked to a real estate agent that was not trying to make a million dollars at least when they first started before what would you would call is the realization of the business hits them, right? And I mean, I get it, right?
Troy Washington:You know, you you you see an avenue for something to happen but you make an unrealistic goal which in turn makes you walk a pathway that is not going to make you happy. It's you you don't have the the endurance and the energy to just keep running because you haven't said, well, my goal is is just to run the whole time and and and what happens happens and so for myself, the way that I've been able to navigate for eight years doing this is because the only goal that I like, the only goal for me is seeing a smile on somebody's face when they close. So, that means whether I close 10 or one, I still am happy because what I wanted to happen happens no matter what And I think that's again, I think that's where we we we fall short because again, the goal that we're setting or the goals that we're setting are not our own. It sounds good, it looks good, and it seems like it's the right thing to do because the overarching, you know, sentiment of the public or every anybody that walks this path is this. And if I don't do it this way, then I can't be happy.
Troy Washington:So I'm doing it this way, not making myself happy to achieve something that's not even a part of my nature. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah, man. Like, it it we're we're following the rules of others that we didn't wanna follow. Following rules you never chose. And it's sad because people think that they have to follow them.
JClay:They they don't even realize they get to make their own rules. And, you know, we we have stuff going on now where you think you gotta vote for rules. Like, no. Do what you wanna do because you wanna do it. You don't gotta you don't even gotta broadcast it to the world.
JClay:Just do what's for you is what's for you. And and I trust me. You would be so much more happier. You would be so much you have little to no stress. Like, you would just be free.
JClay:Like, man, like, why was I wasting all this energy trying to get them to see my point of view when I could've just did what I thought was right from the beginning? You can, and there's a reason why you think it's right because it's it's for you. This is this is how you were meant to experience the world. And when you're following other people's rules or other people's ways of success, it feels like a drain. It feels like a grind.
JClay:Like, you're you're you're working way too hard when you could be working fun. You can be working easy. You can you like, work should be fun. We shouldn't hear the word work and be like, I gotta go to work. We should be, I I'm about to go to work.
JClay:Like, it's like, let's let's work. Let's get it. So, yeah. Go ahead.
Troy Washington:Bro, I I'm a say this and then I know we gotta get to how to rewrite the rules of success. I I like how how we actually do it. But I I had to say this man because again it's something to say about making the client happy. And you are the client. And the amount of what you would consider to be weight that you're willing to carry when you're happy and you know, ever since I started writing these books, bro, there is a joy because again, I got multiple books that I'm working on all at the same time and again, it doesn't, I don't even feel like I'm lifting a weight by doing it by the way.
Troy Washington:You know what I'm saying? But funny enough, you know, me and my wife, we were sitting in the bed the other night and we were talking about basketball and we, I asked her, I said, have you ever heard about the Skirvan Hotel? Because we were talking about Oklahoma City, and Skirvan Hotel is a is supposedly a haunted hotel that every time the players go there, something crazy happened. And they had these crazy underground tunnels and all this kind of stuff. Right?
Troy Washington:And so we were kind of just kind of walking through and talking through it. And saying if that happened to me, this is what would happen. Right? And so, again, my thing, the the thing inside of me that's making me happy is recording and and and making this the story. So I was like, man, we just need to we just need to write a book about what would happen if we was in the Skirvan Hotel.
Troy Washington:Right? And so, immediately, bro, like, without hesitation, I got on my chat and I and I started telling it, hey, this is a story. Me and Chardonnay, we was here. We wanted to go here. We wanted to to the NBA Finals and blah blah blah and I'm I'm running down all of these thoughts and I was like forming into my my my chapters, right?
Troy Washington:And so, before I knew it, we had this horror thriller type of story that we write based off of me and her and again, nobody may ever hear this story. The book may never come out but what I do know is in the creation part of it, me making my client happy, not hesitating and doing it, there was nothing but joy and excitement for for it. And and again, that's why I think that we have to lie. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Because and and and that's that's what sparks creation. That that's what allows us, like you said, to to to expand ourselves and see what we're capable of because I feel like when we create, that's that's us in a way co creating with god. Like, we're in communion with god when we do that and it's been so many times we that that I've even stopped my I'll say me, that I've stopped myself from experiencing creation because I was too far ahead. I was like, well, how I'm a do that?
JClay:I'm not going, am I going to start a company? Am I going to try to get a a publishing house to publish my book? Am I going to try to do this? Like, like, whatever it is you get too far ahead and you miss the gift that is in the joy of the right now of just explore. Just see where it goes.
JClay:It might go nowhere. It might go somewhere. Like, that's not even the point. Right now, you have a curiosity that you get to fulfill, and it's fun. Like, I'm sure you have fun communicating with with chat GPT and then reading it back and then cocreating again saying, alright.
JClay:What about this? Let's add this element into it. Like, why rob ourselves that fun because we don't know the answers to some other stuff? Let's let's at least get the answer to this that sparks our curiosity.
Troy Washington:And and reality of it is, if our standard is like god and his whole first thing was creation, you know, and and and again, you know, I I know that people might feel like that's kinda farfetched but the reality of it is the world that you live in, you have literally created. You have literally put all the people around you that you want. If you have kids, you put them here. If you got friends, if you got a house, if you don't have a house, if you got a car, like, it was all things that you decided were a part of your world and you put them all there and so, that also comes, that goes to show that the things that come out of you can be a part of the creation that you're making and you know, bro, like, let's get to it, baby. Let's go.
Troy Washington:You go. Yeah.
JClay:Yeah. I I wanna say too. And, also, just to to take what you said further, if you have your own room, everything in your room, you put in there. Straight up. You you And so if you don't like your room, it's it's I mean, of course, it's on you, but just change the room.
JClay:Just just get some stuff out, put some new stuff in. But that's part of how to rewrite the rules of success and finally be free. And and I I guess just to to start it off is to know what you want. And that's not always as easy as it sounds, but it starts with asking yourself some questions. It starts with trying some things that you that others might not care for you to try.
JClay:But who cares? It's it's for you to try. This is your success. And just just try. Not even try.
JClay:Just do. Just yeah.
Troy Washington:Go ahead. No. No. Just to kinda add to that and piggyback off of that. When Jay Clay says know what you want, I'm gonna tell you, once you know what you want, you have to be able to remove all the ideology you're tied to, that's tied to it.
Troy Washington:So, what I mean is, again, at some point, I decided that I was going to be a realtor. Imma be a realtor and I instantly started to look outward versus inward. I literally started to see what everybody that was a realtor was doing, how much money they were making, where they were going, what tasks they were doing. Like, all of these different things that I said, okay, you know what? In order for me to beat this thing, I have to assume all of this stuff.
Troy Washington:Now, mind you, the first person that was a realtor didn't assume anything. They literally just created a pathway for themselves and so, a part of the stress and the strain that I had when I first became a realtor was because I took on a bunch of assignments that were not my own. I took on a bunch of pathways that were not my own. And it's not to say that you can't go down somebody's pathway. But you better make sure that pathway is something that you want.
Troy Washington:And that's a part of knowing what you want. Like you have to know that what it takes for me to get it this way is something that I want as well and so, when I first became a realtor, it was tough. I was like, I don't I initially thought, okay, Imma Imma go do door knocking. Imma do all of these things and I realized quick that I don't want to do any of that stuff and so, it changed my my my view on what a real realtor was and so, in that, I had to step back, I had to find out what I wanted to do and I had to find out was there a pathway in it for me to do it my way. And that's not something that always came easy.
Troy Washington:It's something that's always an ongoing thing. I'm always coming up with new ways to craft ways for people to recognize me in this field. But the reality of it is the things that I choose to do now are the things that I want to do, which makes them easier, not as frequent as I would like to, but it's not a strain on my life, and I also can feel the joy when doing it. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and we should be allowed to play. We should be allowed to just try those new things. And the the worst case scenario is it didn't lose anything, but you have fun doing it. The best case scenario is you have fun doing it, and it led to something.
JClay:So it's like, it's a it's a win win. Like, what do we want more than anything? We wanna have fun. We wanna have a good time. We wanna feel good about ourselves.
JClay:But oftentimes, we might scroll. We might just be sitting there, bored, scrolling, looking at everybody else having the time of their lives when there's an idea in our mind worth exploring, at least putting it on paper, at least just draw a doodle of what it could entail and allow yourself to go down that path. Nope. I I I don't know if we if if we have something in us that thinks, you know, people might think we're crazy if we try this this new thing, but who cares? Like, I I I actually enjoy being crazy.
JClay:I've been called crazy a number of times. I've been called weird a number of times, but it's cool because they still do it. They say it in a loving way, and they like my energy. I like my energy because you have to live with you more than you have to live with anybody else. And like you said, you are your own client.
JClay:Make your client happy.
Troy Washington:Bro, and even, again, just to the thought process of thinking, what are people going to think of me? Are they going to think I'm crazy? And again, you gotta just look at the evidence that you've given yourself through your life and and all the reason I say this is because I'm almost 100% sure that I've experienced this. But you've told somebody that you're doing something and they didn't they didn't have it firm knowledge it was or how it goes but they have expressed their amazement in what you're doing. Like, wow, that's that's pretty cool.
Troy Washington:I didn't I didn't I didn't know that you could do it that way and the reason why I point that out is because in most instances, even people that have a firm grasp on the thing that you're doing, when you share a new thought with them versus them thinking of you being crazy, they think of, wow, why am I not doing that? Again, I'm using real estate as an example. When I first became a realtor, I was a little bit younger. I was eight years younger and I was kind of a pup compared to a lot of the real estate agents that were before me. So, I would be in these training classes and when they would ask questions, I would say, well, yeah, I'm on here.
Troy Washington:I'm using, that's when we were first fresh using Marco Polo. I remember. And I was like, yeah. I talked to all my clients below because it's a easy way for them to go back and recall the messages and they can always, you know, I I would say all of this stuff and so after the meeting, the all of the older realtors would come up to me and be like, hey, man. Can you show me how you doing that?
Troy Washington:And like, it's it's amazing. I didn't even know we can do stuff like that and it was something so simple to me. I did to make my life easier and it made me happy and I didn't think that, hey, you know, the traditional way is you need to talk to everybody on the phone and you got, like, that's the way that my business was done, but nobody looked at me crazy because I was using technology to benefit me. And the reason why is because I was a I wasn't afraid to allow myself to be a part of the process. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Right. And that that's what's what's beautiful about, like, the newness of everything is because you you you you don't you don't know those traditional ways like you said, and which is why you should always surround yourself too with people who are new and have questions because you can learn from them, they can learn from you be because you have that structure of what works for you, and you have these people that that's uninhibited by all of that. And then also, like, success as a blanket statement wasn't always built for joy. It might have been built for for money or something. So, like, many I've heard many people join many fields because it's like, that's what the money is.
JClay:There's money in that. I do this. I'm a get this money. I'm a live happily ever after. Boom.
JClay:Bam. Boom. And then, of course, you hear endless stories of these people with all the money in the world aren't happy at all. But, also, people realize that it's it's not as easy as it sounds. It still takes its level of work.
JClay:Now, again, that can still be fun work if if you are having fun doing this thing. But if you're not having fun, let it go. Do something that you do have fun in because it's money and everything. It's joy in everything. It's money and everything.
JClay:I and I I firmly believe that the money follows the joy because it's that positive energy. Energy is that that currency. You have that current where it's just all flowing through you and flowing to you. So make sure you you you build a system for joy for yourself.
Troy Washington:Look, bro. I I I can't cosign that enough when you say money was the joy Because I have seen so many people making so much money on stuff that I thought was crazy before I saw it. That it's it's it's an it's an amazing thing. But you know again the thing that we gotta we have to do is realize that again, our topic is how to rewrite the rules of success. Thing you gotta understand is, you determine what success is.
Troy Washington:That's the bottom line. Like, when I wake up in the morning, one of my measures of success is that you tell yourself that you're amazing and again, I'm not saying that you should feel any less amazing or any less successful but my own success measure is, did you tell yourself that you're amazing? And at times when I don't do that, I feel like I wasn't successful only in that realm and I say, you know what? Tomorrow, I'm going to I'm going to be better but even though I wasn't successful at telling myself that I'm amazing this morning, doesn't mean that I'm not going to be it doesn't mean that I'm not going to be successful at going to take a shower and brushing my teeth or going to give me something to eat. Like, my success is based off of me doing the stuff that I want to do.
Troy Washington:And that's the way that it has to be framed in order for you to maximize who you are. Because if you're basing your success off other people, you you in those things never shows. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And in addition to to doing what you wanna do just because you wanna do it and it's fun to you, still have an openness about you that's willing to pivot at the same time. Because because many times we we do get caught up in our own ways to to our own detriment. Like, we don't realize it, but, like, like, sometimes, okay, you do wanna just scroll on social media all day. You do.
JClay:It's it's fun. Everybody wants to do it, but then next thing you know, you you might start believing. Oh, I gotta check up this news update, or I gotta go look at this, and it's to your own detriment because now you're spending all your time doing this or or all of your days putting your energy to something else that was only meant for you for one day because you, you know, you you I don't wanna say you deserved it, but you just wanted to let loose. You just wanted to to chill out. But be open to pivot because things not going the way that are planned is part of god's plan as well.
JClay:Like, it's still a good thing, but it's meant to allow you to see something new that you can now add to your repertoire of things to to get you toward your definition of success.
Troy Washington:And and and just to kinda go a little bit further on that as well, like, things not going according to plan. Let's talk about it, right? It's only, it's only your plan. It's only your success. And whenever you have or bring outside factors into things, outside forces, you have to look at it from their standpoint or its standpoint as well.
Troy Washington:It's their plan. It's their pathway and so whenever you have intermingling forces like that, it doesn't mean that you have to stop being you. It doesn't mean that you have to take on somebody else's structure, somebody else's path. It means that that's a time for you to co collaborate is the word, right? Because there are times when I've been dead set on something because I felt like it is what I wanted and now, there's a stubborn piece of it that says, you know, I don't need to hear what nobody else say but I allow myself to listen and I'm saying, using music as the example.
Troy Washington:There have been times where you told me something. I'm like, I don't care if this is what this is but then, the reality of it is by me listening to you and and and allowing myself to be open like you said, I realized, well, I'm just being stubborn because this is something that I do really want. And now the co collaboration happens and now I can make the adjustment in a sense to ultimately make myself happy again. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Well, with this is a side conversation too, but that's why you should never take things personal whether you're the receiver of advice or you're you're giving advice and they don't take it. Because sometimes it you you gotta take time to listen and and calibrate. Like, is it true to that? Because there's been plenty of times where the stubborn me in the moment is like, nah.
JClay:That's stupid. I don't wanna hear that. That's dumb. This is like, what you mean? That's crazy.
JClay:But then I sit with it, and I'm like, shoot. You're right. Like, that's the that is the the the key thing. And and and so, like, you know, some people might take that personally. Like, I can't believe they told me that was crazy.
JClay:I'm here trying to help them, whatever, blah blah blah. Like, no. It it it's not about that. Just love Lee would love always and everything would be well. But back to the the oh, go ahead.
Troy Washington:No. No. No. I I don't I don't think that that was off top. I think that was perfect.
Troy Washington:And I and I wanna share something that you shared with me. It was a TikTok that you just shared with me the other day. And again, this is to me apropos to the point that we're making. There was a a guy, right? And he had a YouTube channel, right?
Troy Washington:And he's putting out his YouTubes weekly. Made him in daily. I'm not sure. It was weekly or daily. And he said that he had 11 views a week for forever.
JClay:Oh, yeah. Yeah, he
Troy Washington:had he had 11 views a week for forever. And he said 11 maybe 12. But he never allowed it to shake his confidence of what he was doing because he understood that he was doing it for him. That's the key here. Again, if he had a successful measure beyond him doing it for him, what he accomplished never happens.
Troy Washington:But because eventually what happens is you stop. You you change what you're doing. You start to make adjustments based off of what other people are doing. But what he did was he continued to make his his videos and only have 11 people watching. But what what was amazing about it was one of those 11 people that had been watching him the entire time was Oprah.
Troy Washington:She never told anybody. She never shared it. They would probably blew up his page. She she just watched it. And eventually she offered him a job.
Troy Washington:And that's the short version of it. Y'all can go look it up. But she eventually contacts him and says, hey, I want you to co host something on my new network with me. And then, you know, history, you know, the rest is history. But again, it goes to show that the key here for me in hearing him was, it was not about everything and all the outside forces.
Troy Washington:It was him getting better at what he wanted to do, him expressing himself, working on himself, and doing all of these things for him and out of it became the again, he was getting the joy but out of it came the money. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And so I I I, of course, I love that story. That's why I shared it with you. It it made me think about the times where I forgot my why and how it it led to me stopping doing something that I enjoyed. So I think it was in 2002 or something.
JClay:I was like, man, I wanna expand my catalog, just get more songs out there. I'm a release a song a week. And, you know, I of course, I won't be able to to give each song its nice push, but who cares? I'm building out my catalog. So I was doing it and doing it, but then something along the way, like, I'm not getting enough plays.
JClay:I gotta I gotta do this. I gotta do this. Like, I'm I'm I'm forgetting why I wanted to do it, and I started to overexert myself to the point that I only made it to twenty six weeks when my initial plan was to make it to fifty two. And I was like, man, I I just can't do this no more. This is craziness.
JClay:Like, I'm I'm but it's because I forgot why I was doing it, and I started thinking about other people's ideas of success and not my own idea. And and, again, like, it's it's a lot different now because I don't attach so much pressure to certain things. It's just like, hey. I'm creating for me. And I'm of course, it's with the intent to help.
JClay:But this is this is what I this is the type of content I enjoy creating, but it's not tied to I don't know. Just these these these ideas is in my head. It's just tied to, hey, this this is what it is.
Troy Washington:So, I say this. So, so two things. I love you said, I still had the intent to help and the reality of it is, if you're trying to help somebody else, you're always helping yourself, number one. That's the whole, that's one other topic, right? But the other part to this is, you know, Jay Clay said the first thing you gotta do is find out what you want to do.
Troy Washington:You gotta know what you want to do. The second thing he just said was, you gotta know why you're doing it. You gotta remember, like, you you you have to always call yourself back to the carpet and remember why you're doing it. And trust me, bro, when I tell you I've done this a million times because I understand the burnout of doing things for the wrong reason. I understand that I felt it so, you know, so vividly and the reality of it is, getting back to the beginning.
Troy Washington:Sometimes, you gotta go back and think, why did I start doing this from the very in the very beginning anyway? What was I trying to accomplish? It'll help reframe what's going on because a lot of times when we start to make those adjustments, there was a level of success. But there was a level of of success that that we're measuring based off what we feel like this ultimate success is, right? It wasn't our own success.
Troy Washington:It was me putting out YouTube videos and then next thing I know, getting 46, zero views and me saying, well, I want to get eighty, eighty, 80 views, right? Forget about just putting the the the videos out. I want to get the views down and so now, my thought process is skewed. Now, the way I'm moving is changed. Everything is different now.
Troy Washington:The the whole dynamic of why I want to do it, how I want to do it, and so what happens is, yeah, I'm going get burned out because I never want to do all that stuff in the first place. Nor did I worry care about the views in the first place. Nor did I care about structuring it in the first place. But that's the reason why I got the success. Because I was just doing what I wanted to do, and it was making me happy.
Troy Washington:And so just making yourself go back and recall, feel, and understand is really, really important. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Man, what's cool about this and I tell Troy all the time. So, like, he he saw he got, like, the 48,000 plus views. You know, he told me about it. I was like, you're right. I'm I'm just gonna start putting out content more often again because I I forgot why I stopped in the first place, and it was probably because I was I was trying to to compete with my own highest numbers or whatever and thought that the new stuff just couldn't compare.
JClay:So the the funny thing happened is that in me releasing stuff regularly, some of the stuff does blow up. And but I'm not tied to it. Like, I'm not checking for the numbers daily. I'll see that something blew up from, like, last week, and I'm like, okay. Cool.
JClay:That's pretty cool. Let me keep going. But the thing is what what's cool about it is, like, the more you do something, the better you wanna be at it or the more creative. So it it's almost like I don't wanna just put out anything for the sake of putting out anything even though some people are like, just put out the content. Just put out the content.
JClay:Like, nah. Let me gotta do it my way. I gotta I gotta have fun doing this. So if I'm not having fun doing this, I feel like I can't put my stamp on it to say this is for me for you to enjoy it, which might not be the case. You know?
JClay:People might wanna just watch anything, but that's that's not fun to me. And so I I I'm thankful for that all that transpired and you sharing that with me because when you shared it, it sparked some stuff that's led to me even being a more happy creator today and which I I think is the the the goal of all of it, like you said, to to help people in your art, to help people in your perception by doing just what you already want to do and love to do anyway.
Troy Washington:And so I'm a I'm gonna use content creation as a vehicle because that's what we're talking about.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And that's the part and and I hope everybody gets this. The client is you. The person you're trying to make happy is you. And the success, the outside success that we all try to quantify and act like it's a a big portion of what we're doing, that comes from the joy that people see in us, not because us trying to make them joyful. And so, when I think about music or content, like when I make something, I wanted to make me smile.
Troy Washington:I wanted to make me laugh. I wanted to make me happy. I don't I don't want to get involved in trying to make other people laugh because everybody thinks different things are funny. And so when I put the focus all on me, IEU making mute like, I don't want to just put this out any kind of way. Now, again, there's a balance to it all within your own mind but you're trying to do something that's going to make you happy, right?
Troy Washington:And because of that, those things are going to blow up. That's for all of us. Like, we are so much alike more than we ever give credit for. We try to act like we're so different but we're all the like. We we all experience the same kind of emotions.
Troy Washington:It doesn't mean everything that is funny to you is funny to me but we all have the same cycles and so, by you giving yourself the opportunity to be you, all the people that go through cycle of you because they all go through a cycle of you at some point. When they go through that cycle of you and you're there, that's when that translates. But if you, if you never give a true cycle of yourself, how could anybody ever allow that to resonate? And so that's why I love the fact that, you know, even hearing me say, hey, this is what's going on. There's still a piece of, well, what's going to make me happy in this?
Troy Washington:Because if I'm able to get that cycle of me out, that's where the that's where the true success will be for other people. But for me, I'm going to be happy. I feel it now. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I love that. And and I wanna bring back something you said. I forgot how you said it, but, like, you said what makes you happy? That that's the joy that people resonate with when they interact with your content or interact with your art.
JClay:Whatever you do, interact with your talking. Whatever it is you do, it's the joy in it that people resonate with it with. And that's so true. Like, the the people I follow on social media, for example, is something about their joy. You can tell how much fun they're having when making this.
JClay:You can tell that that that creative fun thought was brought into this. It it wasn't just mindfully I mean, mindlessly just blah. But even that, like, people who do that, they enjoy doing that. It it it it shows. So I love that you brought that up, and that's the that's the perfect thing.
JClay:Like, just live in joy in all these facets, and you can't go wrong.
Troy Washington:And and again, if you're bringing yourself joy in it, other people are gonna feel it. Bro, I've I've talked to and all the reason I'm using public speakers is because and when a when a public speaker is speaking, nobody ever gives an acknowledgement majority of time until it's over. It's a clap like, oh, he was good. If he, if he clapped loud, he was real good, right? But I've talked to public speakers before and whenever they came off the stage, these are people that are close to me that would have this conversation, right?
Troy Washington:And they were like, man, when I said such and such and such and such, I hit that mug, right? And the funniest part about it is, the part that they felt the most happy about, the point that that part that they felt the most joy about is the part that recognize, I recognize as well. Oh yeah, you did kill that mud. It's a it's a same thing in music. Whenever you hit a verse or you hit a a line where you just be like, man, I I know I killed that, right?
Troy Washington:You, of all, you're going to say it that way because you feel that way and guess what? That cycle is going to, I'm going to feel it that same way too. I'm like, oh, he he killed that one and so, I'm saying to subscribe in this again. Know know what you want to be, right? Know why you're doing it.
Troy Washington:And then on top of that, like, love it. Like, give it. Be it. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:I'm laughing too. Okay. So I did an interview recently, and I was asked to kinda recall the process when writing let go because let go is one of my most successful songs as as of yet. And what you said is true because when I was writing it and I heard the words that that were written, that joy is what I deliver whenever I perform it. And I and I still even remember my first few performances of that song.
JClay:Like, I just knew because I was like, yeah, I had the same reaction. And and that's what it was. Like, I and it got the verbal reaction that I thought it would get. But it's true. I I said it to say that it's true that the joy you have in the creation of it is the same joy that people experience when you're when you're giving it in the in the giving of it.
JClay:And that's a that's a beautiful thing.
Troy Washington:You know, makes me think of too. And the reason why I say this is because, again, it's just a it's just a real life example. When we fir I still remember the first day I heard the beat you made nowhere to run. I still remember it.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:We was in the car, like, going to Rollo House. You know what I'm saying? I was like, oh, this is gonna be fine. Like, that's how I felt. So much so that whenever I wrote that mug, I wrote that mug like that like, oh, this is going be fire.
Troy Washington:And again, I don't know how you wrote it. But that's how I felt. So much so that when we finish with it, I was like, oh, this is fire. Now, funny, we performed many songs in front of many people in our life. We were on the beach in Cancun.
Troy Washington:Did this song one time and they wanted us to one person out there, 10 people out there, 100 people out there. They kept wanting us to perform this song over and over again. Bad language, it didn't matter. But the the reason why was because from inception, from the very beginning, there was love about it from me. There was me writing what success meant to me was just being on that.
Troy Washington:Just being able to say anything. All I wanted to do was just to be a part of it and so, it translated all the way to performing on the beach and that's what I'm trying to emphasize to everybody is that, again, know what you want. You know, know why you do doing it. Make sure you're having fun in it. Make sure that you're loving it and feeling it and your steps will match.
Troy Washington:It will match and then all the all the and I I'm saying outside success because at this point that I'm talking about, you're already successful. Yeah, I was already successful when Jay Clay said I could be on the song and only reason he said I could be on the song is because he probably saw like, dang. He has a real level of appreciation for my beat. He gotta be on here. So the the the the the the world will start to move along with you because you cannot be denied.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. What what was funny and cool about that that I was thinking about is, like, how I write music is like, I like, as you know, I jump from song to song. I don't just necessarily stay on one song. But it if I'm being truthful with myself, it's because the joy isn't as potent as it is at certain times. Like, sometimes that joy is just like, oh, yes.
JClay:The song the whole song wrote itself. Or sometimes it's there to a point, and it's like, okay. I'm a come back to this later. And then when I when I revisit it, sometimes it's not there, but in other times, like, I know what to do next. I know I know what's there next.
JClay:And I've had people tell me, like, there's a resonance with my songs that it you can feel the joy oozing out of it, and it and you just kinda pointed out why. And I I I never really knew why, but that's that's true. It's it's it's the the joy you give and the joy you receive. Like, it it's a beautiful thing.
Troy Washington:Man. And and, again, I'm a emphasize even in the last thing you just said, the joy you give is the joy you receive. The joy you give yourself. Because if you're like, you know, we all always say, how can you love somebody if you don't love yourself? Yeah.
Troy Washington:How can you literally know how to make somebody feel happy if you're not making your self happy. And so I I just think that I I love the fact that of the thought process of you writing Let Go that I can even imagine the look on your face while you were writing it. You know what I'm saying? Because the way that I feel when I hear the song or other people which have said a million times over now over 2,000,000 views and plays like it was there. And I can just imagine why you were writing it.
Troy Washington:Funny enough, I've imagined other people who made songs that have been hits and without saying it, I've imagined how they were in the studio. Like, I've literally imagined. Like, I know they was clunk off in the studio for that one. And the crazy thing is I have no idea, but I assume it because you can feel it coming off of the music. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and to that point, like, I I wanna reiterate that doing, having, and being are the same thing. And what I mean is like, if you are to do something joyfully, that means that you have to have that joy to be able to do it joyfully. And if you have that joy, that means you are being joyful. You are a joyful person.
JClay:And I I say this to say that, like, sometimes people may be down and out about certain things, but they don't give themselves credit for the the joyful times that they do have, really realizing that they are full of joy. Like, they are happy. But they might not be dwelling on it to miss it, and that's why I wanted to say it. Like, you you have that joy to give. You have that love to give.
JClay:It's your birthright. It's who you are. You naturally give that off. So be it. Be in it.
JClay:Have it. Like like, share it. And when you do share it, you have it to to give more of because you're you're channeling it from the the infinite source.
Troy Washington:Now I wanna shout out to perfect mode real quick. And then, again, tell everybody, just know that you are perfect. And this is kinda, you know, apropos for the course when when it comes to this topic. Like, you are perfect. Your rules of success matter.
Troy Washington:They're important. They're actually the only thing that does matter. And, you know, I'm using perfect mode as as an example is because we could stop doing this show five season 36 episodes ago. We are season five episode 36. And my sentiment to you is to tell you to do what you wanna do, understand that you're doing it for you, and make yourself happy.
Troy Washington:Because you can have the stamina and endurance to do it. The reason why we're in season five, episode 36 is because every single time we hit in stream, the first thing that me and him say is good show, man. And then, not only do we say good show, we say, man, I open my eyes up to this today or you open my eyes up to this today or he say, I I open my eyes up to this. This is how I'm going to go for this week and I told you, help yourself. If you're helping yourself, you're helping other people.
Troy Washington:Now, I don't have to have a thousand views up there to know that there's a thousand people watching me at some cycle in their life. Now, I do like when I get the Emails and the and the the DMs and stuff like that But ultimately, the reason why we can be season five, episode 36 is because I'm doing it for me. I know he's doing it for him. And then along the process, there are some benefits that we reap. And it might not be monetarily, but there are other things that are happening in our life because of that.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. And and it's so true. Like, again, when you do when you do what you enjoy, when you do what you love, god is allowed to come out. That's the best way I can say it.
JClay:And with, like, without restriction, you surprise yourself. Like, where did that come from? I've I've never shared anything like this before. That's amazing. I'm a take this into my day to day life even though you're the one that's saying it or even though you're the one that's doing good or even though you're the one that had the idea for it, like, it it's it's beyond you, but it's for you all at the same time.
JClay:And the more you create or cocreate or or just act out your joy, you will be with you you will bear witness to it, and and you would see the light that exists in your life all the time that's always there.
Troy Washington:And if that light is shining, your steps will follow. Look, for me, again, using perfect mode as the example, I hate to miss a show. Right? Because I'm telling you, I do it for me. And because I do it for me, I'm always gonna wanna do what I do for me because it's gonna make me happy.
Troy Washington:The only time I miss shows is whenever I go to basketball games for my kids. What do I love more than doing stuff for me? Doing stuff for my kids. And it as crazy as it sounds, it's still for me because it ultimately makes me happy. And so every time I have this dilemma come up, I'm always torn.
Troy Washington:But the beautiful part about my dilemma in this instant is I get to be happy either way. Both ways make me happy. I'm not choosing to go and run laps instead of doing perfect mode because I'm not going to be happy about that and there is also a domino effect when I say it. When you're doing the things that make you happy, there's a domino effect in how you move. If I stop doing perfect mode and go run, then, there's a going to be a domino effect in my life that might not be what I'm looking for and so, again, ideally, that's what I what I'm emphasizing is, I feel it here.
Troy Washington:I know and I do it for me and it makes it easy. The repetition, the frequency, all of it. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Check check this out. So when you when you okay. One, know what you want and know why. Again, this is calibration process. It is trial and error.
JClay:You gotta, you know, just do and then and figure it out. When you do and and you're being vocal about it and you sharing with others what you love doing, sometimes you might not because of circumstances, you might not see that that's the thing you need the most. And the example would be is that there have been times I haven't wanted to do perfect mode on Sundays. Like, may maybe because I was just so busy that weekend. I did so much stuff.
JClay:Like, man, I don't wanna do it, but because Troy knows me. Like, man, this is this dude's mug. And it it's it never failed. Like, after, like, the first two minutes of speaking, all the joy just rushes in, and it's like, man, I did need this. This is exactly what I needed to do.
JClay:But had I just kinda kept that to myself, I wouldn't have been able to overcome whatever that that angst was, by stepping into what what I enjoy doing. Go ahead.
Troy Washington:And and and, again, this is the beauty of it. Right? In the co collaboration space. If Jay Clay ever came to me and said, I don't want do it today, I wouldn't think anything of it. I just understand his inside is not allowing it to be, right?
Troy Washington:It's not and and and again, that's the part that we all have to understand like when you want and feel something, you're telling yourself something. Your client is telling you something. Your client is trying to let you know that it doesn't mean that I'm exiting at this part of my life. Right now, the client needs this in order to have the fuel to do anything else, right? And again, in in Jay Clay's instance, sometimes, you you could literally just kind of be torn.
Troy Washington:You might not not want to do it because the reality of it is, what I know with Jay Clay is, if he does not want to do something, he's not going to do that much. And again, same thing with me. I'm just not going to do it. And so if there was any reason why he stepped forward to do it, it's because it wasn't that he didn't want to do it, but his, his, his, client was going to be satisfied either way. And I think.
Troy Washington:And that's the similar to with me in basketball. There have been times where I told you, hey, I'm about to I'm I'm a miss this game because I'm going to do this. You know, it it didn't work out that way, but I was gonna do it because my client was gonna be happy either way. My client wanted to do one of them for sure. You know what I'm saying?
Troy Washington:So but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Well yeah. So this is our time. I appreciate y'all working with us on this perfect Sunday. If you found this helpful, hit that share button, like, subscribe, all that good stuff.
JClay:We hear every noon on Sundays, most Sundays out the year. Go ahead, Troy, to take us out or say anything else.
Troy Washington:Yeah. I it just you know, you're perfect, man. You are a perfect woman. You are perfect. And your level of success should be your level of success.
Troy Washington:And I would promote and encourage people to look at all the things you do for you as successful. Even if you it's been minimizing your mind from other people to act to to be nothing. You have to see that as something. Because if you're doing it, it's an accomplishment accomplishment being made. And you can take us out, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. You're perfect creator creation made by a perfect creator, so you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. Yeah. If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect mode.
JClay:To perfect mode. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, a spiritual teacher, with my cohost Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Let's perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
