S5E32: How to Stop Overworking and Start Thriving
If I reminded you that you are perfect, you argue me down or step into your perfection? To perfect tomorrow. To perfect tomorrow. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, Perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:What up? What up? Let me start by telling you that we love y'all. We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere, sharing our thoughts, hopefully, and helping you realize that you are perfect. And the reason why I can say that unapologetically is because I know that you are one of one.
Troy Washington:Numero uno. You cannot be replicated, duplicated. And the only reason, and I mean, the only reason you think that you're not is you're looking at this person on the and I'm not them. But guess what? You are you, and that's all you need.
Troy Washington:And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor, and I have to, you know, bring my boy in Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher. And we're about to jump on and talk about how to stop overworking and start thriving. Stop overworking and start thriving. What up, Jay?
JClay:What up? What up? Happy Sunday to all my perfect people in perfect land at the perfect place at the perfect time ready to talk about our perfection. And, yeah, it's a good Sunday. It's a good topic.
JClay:I like this topic because, you know, I'm I'm I'm one who can tend to overwork, and I am one who likes not working at the same time. It's a special relationship with it all. Yeah. I I wanna I wanna get into this.
Troy Washington:Yeah. So I would tell you when I first saw the topic, my initial thought was, am I overworking anything? And if I am overworking it, why am I considering it overworking? Is it just that I don't like what I'm doing, or I feel like it's not really necessary, and I'm trying to fill in the gap because I feel like someone else thinks that I should do it. And so, you know, that's kind of the things that kinda ran through my head and literally thinking of myself.
Troy Washington:But what about you, Jay?
JClay:Yeah. It is it's one of those things, like, we well, I I was sometimes people run into the trap of thinking, like, they do something more. If they they do more work, it might lead to more rewards. But we've seen a lot of hard workers who are struggling, who who've been grinding for years and still hold the title of grinder. And it is like, we we something has to give or or maybe we could just be going about it the wrong way.
JClay:And and that's what I I definitely wanna explore because I have again, like I said, I I've noticed some ways in mind, my own behavior that that should be tweaked accordingly, and I wanna make sure we all get back on track.
Troy Washington:And so I I think that the where where I wanna start this at is just like anything else that we do in perfect mode is realizing what we're saying, understanding what we're thinking. And the first thing that came to my mind when you just said there was especially when you said the word grinding is that I remember how many times I hadn't seen in a while, and then I saw them like, hey, man. What's up? What's going on? And and my response was, man, you know, just grinding like I always be.
Troy Washington:Or I might say, man, just working hard, you know, just out here trying to survive. And, you know, when you really think about these words or the way that I'm portraying who I am or and and it's important when I say portraying who I am because no matter what I portray, I'm going to become that thing. And so it's funny the words that I I've used over and over again through time and to end up being where I place myself and where I pride myself to be in order to, I guess, facilitate my life. But what about you, Jay?
JClay:Yeah. So, yeah, I I mean, I I've definitely said that back in the day. You're like, what's up? What's Grinding. You know?
JClay:And even when you say it, you feel it. Like, you know what I mean? It's like grinding. You're not saying, man, I'm happy, man. I'm I'm living like, I'm enjoying life.
JClay:It's it's a different vibration. And somewhere along the way, like, we we we believed in that. You know what I mean? And not to say that it's wrong. I'm grateful for my experience about that, but are you gonna grind forever?
JClay:Like, really? Is is that is that what life is about when you can accomplish so much more from doing what you love? So so so okay. I'll I'll say this. Because I I was trying to think when the topic came up, like, how did people get in this mindset of it?
JClay:And I think it's twofold. I think maybe the people who are paying people to work, they want them to work more. So they they create a culture around the the working. Like, yeah, you should work more. You get more the more you work and all of that.
JClay:But, also, we see people that excel in certain things, but we don't we're not taking the fact that they love it. Like, they can't see themselves not doing it. They it's almost a compulsion because they do it all the time. They can't stop doing it. Like, music in me, I can't stop even if I tried.
JClay:I I have tried to stop making music. Can't happen. And when you when you when you don't look at it fully with that love component, you might say, oh, they're thriving. They're making a lot of money in this field. I can do this field too.
JClay:You can, but if you're not adding that that love to it, if you're not adding that joy to it, it is you it's a grind.
Troy Washington:So I'll add this to that as well. And I again, going back to what I was saying, the way that I portray myself or the way that I might give myself to people, I'm initiating the conversation, and I'm also initiating my life. But I think the other part to this is the fact that we glorify the grind. We put it on a on a on a high pedestal. Even people that we've seen as successful, when we hear back the words that they say, they say, man, I started from the bottom and I had to I grinded.
Troy Washington:Now I'm here. Or you you just don't know my story. I had zero. And the reality of it is no matter where we are, we all start at zero. Like, it it it doesn't matter if you have a even if you have a million dollars, you still start at zero in some aspects of things that you want to do.
Troy Washington:And the I think the part where we get lost in translation is the fact that we're glorifying it in a backwards manner versus saying, you know, how I got here, I fell in love with what I was doing. I fell in love the process. So what are you doing now? Man, I'm just loving what I'm doing every day. I'm loving my process.
Troy Washington:I'm loving learn learning something new. And, again, even with me being a substitute, I can kinda see this mentality permeating in kids' heads. Like, you know, oh, you know what, mister Washington? I'm about to I got this kid that comes to me all the time and say, man, what I need to grind on next, mister Washington? I'm trying to get to a, you know, this speed, and I'm like, look, man.
Troy Washington:You gotta fall in love with what you're doing. If you love it, then it'll it will come. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I love that because, yeah, that that that is the mentality, and you don't realize that you're sowing the seeds of grinding. So you're never reaching the point that you're grinding for because all you know is grind. I make it here. I'm a keep grinding.
JClay:I'm a keep grinding. One day one day, I'm a get there. One day, I'm a get there, but you're you're never actually allowing yourself to get there. And that that's a switch we need to make because how do I say this? It it's a it's a lot of fear involved.
JClay:Like, we can move love based or we can move fear based. And a lot of times when people are grinding or working, it's fear based. They don't really believe maybe in themselves or just their environment or or just the circumstances. Like like you said, we all kinda started from zero, but not quite because there are so many things around to help us out. Like, whether it's a whether it's our parents, whether it's a system, there are so many programs and things to help you out no matter where you are at.
JClay:But a lot of times people don't even want that help. They wanna be the helper. They wanna grind, but they don't wanna accept the help even though you really can't experience anything without accepting help on some level.
Troy Washington:You know, what's what what so number one, I'll add to what you're saying about accepting help, but it's like recognizing that the help is there. Because sometimes you can't accept something that you know is there for you to have. That's the first thing that I would say about that. Could you just imagine, bro? Like, again, the way that we things, the way that we allow ourselves to feel about things, but we don't do everything that Could you just saying, like, hey, man, Troy.
Troy Washington:How how's how's you how you and Chardonnay doing? Man, we just grinding. We trying to grind this marriage. Or, like you know what I'm saying? Like or, you know, man, what's it like having kids, man?
Troy Washington:That mug is a real grind. Like, we we don't speak that way because we love our kids. We love initiating or being a part of all the things that they got going on. We love our relationships. And, again, just the way you glorify it is what because if I if I was coming up coming here and saying, man, Jay, this this this marriage, bro, it's a grind, baby.
Troy Washington:I wouldn't be there long. The the reason why is because my steps have to automatically match the way that I'm presenting or feeling. And even though I might not say on the surface level or I might not act on the surface level like the way that my words are coming out, it doesn't mean that I'm not internally moving that way. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Man, it is so okay. So so back to to the the fear thing. I was having a conversation with someone, one who was, like, kinda complaining like, man, all I do is work. I'm tired of this and all this.
JClay:Don't work. I gotta work because I gotta I gotta feed myself and all of that stuff. And then it I I posed the question, well, what happened if you if you didn't? Like, what happened if you didn't work and they went to homelessness? And then this is just me thinking how to say this to them, but, like, why is that your go to?
JClay:Like, it it it could be. It might not be what has led you to believe that before, but, also, homelessness might not necessarily be a bad thing. It might allow you to travel. It might allow you to visit other people. It it's so many things at play if we're willing to ask ourselves different questions, try different things.
JClay:Because I I can honestly say that when I loosen the reins and and and say, could there be another way instead of me just trading my time for money or me doing this and that, trying to get more and more and more squeezing the life out of it? And it and it is true because because when you're in that mindset, you don't realize it, but you kinda rub people the wrong way. Like, you might be doing your job, and you have an agitation about yourself. So it's just like you you're not getting the best out of yourself or the person that you're doing it for. It it it's just so many things involved when you're not doing it with with that with that heartfeltness.
Troy Washington:No, bro. So what's funny is I literally just had this talk with either TJ or Brody, and they were talking about homeless people. You know? And, of course, you know, there has to be a lot of maturity on my part because I know how I used to feel about homeless people not really understanding, you know, what I was looking at and the funniest thing is, I literally told Brody or TJ, forgot who I was talking to again and I was like, you know, the reality of it is not every person that's homeless wants to be homeless, but a lot of them do. They a lot of them chose the life that they wanted to.
Troy Washington:And not only did they choose it, if you look at interviews, they glorified the way that they're they're they're living. And so what I mean by that is I've heard plenty homeless people say, I love the fact of being free and not having to worry about, you know, what you know, where the next text come coming from or, you know, these other things. And then I go you know, you go on to hear them say, you know, what about where you're living at or, you know, your your living conditions? Well, my living conditions are not bad for me. You know, my living conditions are great because I'm able to get up and move like you said.
Troy Washington:I'm able to go around people that I wanna be around. And it's just it's funny that a a simple mentality change go stops that from being because you in my mind, I feel like that's hard work all day. Let me I gotta get warm. I gotta find somewhere to sit. What if somebody come in wanna come take my little stuff that I it's it's so much stuff that goes through your mind when you don't have the the, I guess, the right mentality to to navigate it.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:It it's funny you say that because it made me think about how I'm living now and how I'm comfortable in in the, like, the way I'm living, but there are probably some people like, how could he live like that? How could he just be in that home? You gotta you need a mansion or something. I don't know. Like, it's probably somebody else.
JClay:Or on the other end, it's probably a homeless person. Like, I can't believe he gotta go pay rent. He gotta make sure his grass is cut. He gotta do all this. I don't want all that stress.
JClay:I'm I'm happy with myself. And it's all perspective, which is why it's important that you align your perspective with what you enjoy so that you can always do it. But but, again, your beliefs play a part in that as well. And, again, we talked about this plenty of times. Like, what you believe you experience.
JClay:So it's a matter of changing your beliefs as you're going through the action of what you don't wanna do so that you can meet in the middle.
Troy Washington:And that's and, again, that's the reason why I'm glad we started the show out the way that we started because, like, when you think about how to I feel like you have to realize that you're overworking. And a part of you feel like realizing that you're overworking is what you're thinking about what you're doing. Again, I'm right now currently managing all of our YouTube pages. Right? And I ask myself this question over and over again.
Troy Washington:Like, I'm I'm I I I would literally ask myself in a in a moment's time, do I feel like doing this? And so when I ask myself that there's a feeling that comes over me, there's, of course, a lot of it is imaginatory. Meaning, I'm imagining or I'm envisioning, you know, certain thing. But nonetheless, it gives me a different feel about what I'm doing in that moment. And so now, it doesn't feel like overworking it.
Troy Washington:Now, there's enthusiasm. There's energy. There's there's there's this propelling in me that tells me, do this. And now I don't feel like it it's not not only do I not feel like it's a lot, I wanna do more. I wanna drop more.
Troy Washington:I wanna put more out there. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:So what was cool about that and you doing the YouTube is one, when you when you started doing it, I was like, man, in my mind, man, that's a grind. I I hope he do it. I'm a give him whatever he need. He actually he wanna do. Do it.
JClay:You got full range. Just do it. But in you doing it, I saw the joy, and I saw the appreciation. And you you were giving me nuggets of wisdom like, hey. Just put out a shorter day.
JClay:And I was like, that is very easy to do. Or you actually said two. And I was like, well, I why not just start with one? I'm doing nothing right now. Nothing gets nothing no views.
JClay:And once I started doing it, I I started getting more and more views. Like, I have one right now that is the biggest that I've had out of all my shorts, YouTube shorts, and it made me realize, like, the the flaw before why I saw it as such a grind. I was trying to handle too many platforms at once. I was trying to to manage this and have a caption for this and that, and it's like, just just start simple. Get get the habit of that or get in the free flow of that and then go to the next thing.
JClay:Don't be so quick to jump to expert level from novice. And, like, I I feel good, and I'm and I'm happy that that you said that because if you had not done that, I wouldn't start doing this myself. But it just goes to show whatever you're doing, there's always an easier way or there's not necessarily easier. There's always a more aligned way that you enjoy where you still put in the work, but it's not hard work. It's it's fun work or easy work.
Troy Washington:So it's it's two things I wanna touch on based off what you just said. So number one, this overarching thought process for perfect mode. Like, again, I wanna stress to everybody. You are perfect. You do not need anything else.
Troy Washington:Nothing on the outside of you. Everything you need, you have. And you just being you is what we need in order for this coexistence, this cocollaboration to be this great space that it actually is right now. So I I want to say that because what we're talking about is action based things. Meaning, you have to take some action in order for for what we're talking about to make sense in a sense because it says, how to stop overworking.
Troy Washington:And the reason why I break it down like that is because I never wanna insinuate that you have to do anything. If your mental makeup is to do nothing, then do nothing because ultimately, that's what's gonna make you happen. Make make make you happy. But when it comes to action based things, back to Jay Clay's point, and when I say recognizing when it you have to recognize when you're overworking. I love the fact that I gave you an idea.
Troy Washington:This is key. I gave you an idea and I said, hey, you should just do two a day and you were able to easily recognize to yourself, well, I don't want to do two a day. The reason why you don't want to do two a day is because forget about what you might think about two a day would be. You just knew for yourself that's too much right now. But you know what you did say?
Troy Washington:Because I know this is an action based item. I have to do something. What can I do in order to feel good about myself and then also accomplish the action? And you say, you know what? Just one a day.
Troy Washington:Now, the beautiful part about that is that when you started to do the one a day and you took because now it's no longer a grind, right? You you like you said, I no longer divine define this as a grind. I made it easy for myself. Now, because the negative connotation and I'm not saying grinding is negative, just saying based off of our conversation. Based off of the negative connotation being taken away, you've been able to open yourself up for more possibilities.
Troy Washington:And I think that's the beauty of it because now you're saying, okay, well, cool. I did this. Well, let me see what else Troy have to say. I'm not saying I'm take it all along because I don't wanna be overworked, well, overwhelmed or overworked. But maybe I can add a little another piece to this.
Troy Washington:And I think that's really, really important. I appreciate you sharing that you said. I heard what you said, but I still formed this in a way that made sense for me. But go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. So so check this out. Like, for for those that don't know, like, we we chose this topic in advance. So, like, the coincidence of this happening for me this week was, I say, Wednesday. It was Wednesday.
JClay:I was sore from, like, workouts and stuff, and just I was mentally tired, and I had so much to do. When I say so much to do, so much to do. And I said, you know what? I'm a make the decision. I'm not doing nothing else for the rest of the day.
JClay:I don't care. I'm done. I'm not doing nothing for the rest. And I really didn't do anything. I didn't feel bad about it.
JClay:Because, you know, sometimes you might say, I don't feel like it. You teeter tottering, but you you're still not fully committing to rest. So I did this. And then that next day, Thursday, something just hit me. It was like, what happens what would happen if you just did everything on your to do list?
JClay:Just just do it. And I just did it with ease. One thing after another, it didn't feel overwhelming. Like, that mental weight that it had the day before, it it was gone. It was like I was being helped along the way.
JClay:And the only thing was I just listened to myself to rest and and fully committed to the rest. And and and it's it's funny how naturally after you were replenished, you were able to do the next thing. But sometimes when we're in the throes of something, we think that's how it's always gonna be. So it's like, man, I gotta just make the the best of it now. I gotta push through this.
JClay:I gotta push. But the more you push through something, you strengthen it in your mind as a as a bigger adversary than it is. But when you let go, you get into that flow state, and it's like, you know what? I'm chilling. And then when it's time to to go, go.
JClay:And my man, y'all, my my to do list is zero right now. Well, one thing popped up for the day. But for, like, the rest of the day, it's zero, and it hasn't been zero in in probably, like, half a year.
Troy Washington:Yeah. And and and so so super tight on super tight on you doing the to do list and also doing it when it made sense for you. Because, again, I I I wanna stress the importance of he you could have done the same thing two days later, and you could have been overworked worked. And that's simply because you felt like that's not what you should be doing. And this is a action based act.
Troy Washington:You just moved out to to a better time when you had a better mentality, when you felt the energy, and you did it. So now it's no longer overworked even though it's the exact same thing. But I think another part to this again, for me is just trying to understand yourself. Right? Like because I understand riding the energy wave to your point.
Troy Washington:Like, when when you're in the grind and you you you like, man, I gotta get this done, and then you're you're you're you're going against opposing forces forces. You like, I'm a push through. No matter what, I'm a push through. I'm a push through and you don't want to quit and I'm I'm saying this because of myself. Right?
Troy Washington:I know I'm I'm speaking but you don't wanna quit because you also feel like if I stop now, then I'll never come back to this or I'm never going to get it done and there's these all this opposition comes just because you already started out in opposition in the beginning. You won't even have these other thoughts if you're not fighting. Of course, nobody wants to come back and fight later. Of course, nobody wants to come back and push the car up the street later. So, if I'm able to change the way that I'm thinking about it now, like you did, come back later.
Troy Washington:Now I don't feel like I'm fighting anything. And, again, realizing that because I didn't ride that energy wave that I felt like was a positive energy wave, I'm not missing anything. You know, what they say is science is matter cannot be created nor destroyed. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed. It just moves to a different area or a different place or a different time, and it's up to you to cultivate that and make it do what it's supposed to do.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Man, I I I gotta share this again. I haven't shared this on here in years. My my wave story. So one time, y'all, I was at the at some tropical beach somewhere, and it was high waves.
JClay:And I was like, man, I'm just gonna just stand in the middle of these waves and hold my ground. And I did it. It hurt a little bit when the wave hit me because I was standing my ground with this massive wreck wave. So I was like, okay. I got some I'm a I'm a meet its force.
JClay:When it come, I'm just going I'm a gut check the wave. And I did it. It it it didn't it didn't hurt, but it was some sting. Like, I I felt it, like, me gut checking it. Then I was like, you know what?
JClay:Okay. I'm just gonna let go completely and let the wave take me and see what happens. So I let the wave take me. It kinda, like, brought me onshore a bit, and it but it wasn't I don't know. It was it was weird.
JClay:So I said, okay. I'm a try one more thing. I'm a ride the wave. Like, I'm a I'm a let the wave take me, but I'm a ride it. So when it came, I kinda turned over and did, like, the Superman pose, and I had so much fun doing that.
JClay:Like, it was like I I still it was the same motion that I got pushed back on shore, but it was fun. And I didn't I felt nothing but joy. I don't know if I even if I hit the ground, I didn't feel it because I was just so much in that joy. And, like, when I realized what happened, I was like, man, that's a powerful lesson. Like, we're we're always trying to go maybe against the grain or we're trying to stand our ground, show how tough we are, but what would happen if we actually rolled the wave?
JClay:Not let not just let it take us, but, like, we're we let it take us, and we use that as as a guide to push us further toward where we wanna go. And it it's just mind blowing that we don't do that when it's like this the current is taking us where we wanna go if we would relax and just ride it.
Troy Washington:So shout out to Jay Clay still being here, y'all, because Jay Clay could be floating out somewhere in the ocean right now. No. But but all jokes aside, though, I'm gonna continue to ride this wave that we're on. I don't know if you remember this, but this is not to because I I I want the audience to realize that the point that you're making is very, very important, and this is gonna sound like this is off the point, but this is bringing another factor into the equation, I guess I should say. Because a lot of times when you're trying to overcome or trying to stop overworking and overcome that and start thriving, sometimes you gotta you have to be able to lean on other people or other resources.
Troy Washington:And sometimes, we don't wanna do that because of what we might what we feel people might think of us or what we might feel or how we might think of ourselves not being up for considered to be the challenge to get whatever we're trying to get done done. And the reason why I say ride the wave is because there was a time when you and I were in Cancun before as well, and we were and in this ocean, we're just floating along, riding away, just having fun. Well, it was just me. Right? And it was just me floating along, having fun.
Troy Washington:And before I know it, me, Jay Clay, and some other people that we were with, we were just in the water further. We weren't we weren't even deep where we could not come back.
JClay:Not me. I was like, hey. Y'all tripping.
Troy Washington:And before I know it, the current had had me. And you wanna talk about fighting and being overworking and trying to fight your way back? And a part of this is mentality mentality mentality. I I have to be able to get back. If I if I'm not able to get back, what is everybody gonna think of me?
Troy Washington:And what ended up happening was I got outside of that mindset, and we ended up making a chain where all of our hands were connected, and we pulled our way out of the water. And the reason why I bring that up is because, again, there is a point where I could just be floating out in the ocean somewhere right now. Right? You know, shout out to Jay Clayton again. But the but the reality of it is, I decided to realize that I didn't have to do this all alone.
Troy Washington:I realized that nobody's gonna look at me crazy for working with us as a team in order to to accomplish what we're trying to accomplish. But go ahead,
JClay:Yeah. Like, I I remember that day, like, the in in this situation, the the current was going the opposite way from land, whereas in mine, it was going through. I remember I was like, you you you have fun. I'm I'm a I'm a I'm a chill out here. And I remember that I was like, man, I lost my boy Troy, man.
JClay:There's nothing I can it it was nothing I could do. Like, it was like, I I if I go out there, I'm gone too. And yeah. But I'm I'm glad it it worked out.
Troy Washington:Bro, I was swimming with all my might. And, again, the the the again, is to the point of the show. I was swimming with all my might, and I wasn't going anywhere. Just FYI. Like, I went underwater.
Troy Washington:I wasn't coming back. I was swimming on top of water. I wasn't coming back. There was nothing that I could do in that moment. And I was really overworking, but I wasn't thinking.
Troy Washington:I wasn't thriving, and I wasn't realizing there are tools. And, again, I said that the intro even talking about chat chat GPT as well. Like, I'm one of these people who feel like technology just be crazy sometimes and I don't I don't want to do all the shortcuts and all that kind of stuff. But the reality of it is me choosing not to look outside of myself. And again, don't look outside of yourself.
Troy Washington:You have everything you need. But sometimes, we there are tools that you've even created in your mind that are there for you to use in order to facilitate making this an easier process for you. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I love that too. And and sometimes it's a matter of just learning the tools that we already use. Like, you won't believe how many times I've had something for years. And I was like, let me let me learn something.
JClay:Like, even my phone. I remember, like, watching watching the tutorial and stuff I could do with my phone. I was like, I had this all all alone and didn't know it. I was only using it in this way and that that's why I love that you pointed that out because we do have everything we need. We we do right now in where we are to have, be, do whatever we want.
JClay:Like, literally, whatever we want. I've been seeing proof of it, proof of it, unravel. There's even I wanna say it's a bible quote something about where Jesus says something like, you know, look at the birds. Like, do they not have food and shelter and stuff all the time? Look at the flowers.
JClay:Yeah. And and and and if you want proof of it, like, with the food that, like, when when you have no food, food will be available, just say you fasting and watch how many people offer you free food without even knowing that you're fasting. Real talk, though.
Troy Washington:You you hit that. And and, again, my question would be, why are you so afraid to give yourself the look that you should have been giving yourself the entire time? It's it's funny how we minimize who we are. And, again, this is all framed from the standpoint of me saying that I don't want to overwork myself. But this is the true reality of it all.
Troy Washington:Everything that I have around me, the things and including the people, including the technology, they are all things that I have put here. I literally put I literally put it all here. And the fact that I cannot process or register in my mind that me trying to do this alone is not the ideal thing ideal way for me to do it is beyond me or should be on be beyond you. Because, again, when I think about overworking, simple just to kinda give you an example, bro. I had a when I first got my first contract for real estate, first got my first contract for real estate, I was afraid to do it.
Troy Washington:I didn't know who to contact. Well, I I I guess I wouldn't say I won't know who to contact. I didn't wanna contact anybody. And so what I'd ended up doing was I sat in front of this contract for two hours just looking at it over and over, trying to Google stuff, trying to just doing all of this stuff overworking. And, again, I put people in my life for a reason.
Troy Washington:I did it. They didn't just show up, you know, just out of nowhere. They're in my life. They're people that I've developed relationships with through work, through thriving. Right?
Troy Washington:And the moment when I have the opportunity to reach out to one of them to make my life as easy as it should be, as easy as I've created for myself, I hesitate. And I spent two hours doing something that I could've done in twenty minutes because it was one or two questions. And so, again, number one, recognizing that I'm overworking. Number two, understanding that the work has already been done. You might not look as you building your life up the way that you've done it, but you did.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I I I love that too. I was just thinking an example of that. Shout out to my uncle. He had he had called me, last night because he had, like, a business idea, and he just reached he just reached out to make the process easy.
JClay:Like, how did I get this made? How did and I didn't realize I knew how as much as I knew in that field because because to your point that I one of the things I got from it is, like, not not only do you know more than you realize you know, but so do the other people too, and they might not know it until you give them that opportunity. And by you reaching out, making it easier on yourself, you actually raise the tide of all ships, like, involved. Like, it's they they feel better about, being able to help you. They learn something about themselves in perspective, and, also, you make this job easier for you and you feel more connected.
JClay:Because it is it's nothing worse than doing it all by yourself and feeling disconnected from everybody. Like, you you hear the horror stories all the time where they say it's lonely at top. But then when you see the the people that thrive with their friends or all of them at top, like, you'd see how joyful their life is. And I I I love that, man. It it it is about giving others those opportunities as well because we are one and we thrive as a community, and we shouldn't deny ourselves that just for pride or ego or whatever.
Troy Washington:And and and, again, I'm gonna come back and hit you with give yourself credit for everything that you've done. Give yourself because a part of this mind shift is if I'm giving myself credit for everything in my life, which I understand why it might be hard for you to do that, because even me saying it out loud right now, I can get how you could have thoughts of, well, I mean, I'm not really responsible for these. But the reality of it is there are people that stay in their house all day every day. They don't get out and they don't associate with anybody nor do they do anything nor like they're literally to themselves. And so because they're literally to themselves, they don't do anything with anybody.
Troy Washington:They have still created something for themselves. It just might not be as resourceful as what you created for yourself. And you have to understand that because you've done these things, you yourself up in such a way that over overworking is impossible. You've you've you've literally eliminated the you've eliminated that whole process of it, but then still throw yourself back in. And that's the most amazing thing about it all to show you how we think and how we work.
Troy Washington:And so my challenge will be for everybody. Number one is still recognizing when you're overworking. But number two, giving yourself credit for everything that you've created. Give like, I give myself credit for Jay Clayton in my life because the reality of it is, he doesn't have to be. I don't have to talk to him every week.
Troy Washington:I don't have to talk to him on a weekly basis. I don't have to I didn't have to make music with him. I didn't have to travel with him. Those are things that I chose to do. And again, there wasn't any I wasn't doing it for the purpose of I'm going to use him later but I did it for the purpose of my life being the quality of life that I wanted it to live and that's how you have to look at yourself in order to so that way you can credit yourself and utilize everything to make your life easy.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and we often we we talked about this before a couple weeks ago too. Like, we we put more weight on stuff. So, like Yeah. When I when I spoke about how Wednesday I was overwhelmed the only reason I was overwhelmed is because I associated certain beliefs with certain actions.
JClay:I was like, man, as soon as I do this, this is gonna solve this problem and solve this problem. This is gonna make this easier, and it it it shouldn't. It it that shouldn't have that much weight. It's like this will add to more ease, you know, by the time it's complete, but this by itself is just an action. That's all it is.
JClay:It doesn't have any built in meaning, nothing else. And and by me doing that, I was kinda demeaning the now moment the now moment. I was demeaning, like you said, what I did so far or what was done for me so far. It was almost like I was slapping the blessing in the face and, like, that blessing don't mean nothing. It's all about this blessing.
JClay:I'm a bring myself in the future when I finish this task. And in some ways, could say it it's like we're spitting in the face of god. God is all love, so god would never take it like that and never sees it like this. But this is just our own conflicting mind trying to impose ourselves onto god, so to speak. And it is is is if we only knew how not only protected but supported we are, we would never struggle again.
JClay:Like, we would never allow ourselves to think a thought of struggle. Because, yeah, truthfully, we're never struggling. We're just thinking thoughts of struggling, which makes us feel like we're struggling.
Troy Washington:I I love that. And, again, you could check yourself in any given moment to realize if you're struggling or not. Like, there have been plenty times where I funny enough, I'm I'm I'm a talk about me before I talk about this, bro. I know you had to have witnessed it before. When somebody was stressed out about something and somebody told them, just stop and take a breath.
Troy Washington:Just stop and breathe. Just stop and gain your composure. So, and the and the reason why that happens is because we know that you have to take the second to really get get a grip a grip on this moment. Like, really understand this moment. In this moment, am I finna die?
Troy Washington:In this moment, is the world gonna collapse? In this moment, and I say all of those because this is a way that I've been before. I literally had to make myself realize the truth in any given moment. And, again, that's something that I challenge people to do, like, that when you feel overwhelmed, overworked, you know, give yourself that moment to break and look at the situation for what it is. How detrimental is this to me?
Troy Washington:Is this really important? And funny enough, you know, when I think about, you know, us using tools or accepting what's in front of us. Look, I just started with ChatGPT not too long ago and I'm not gonna get into everything that I'm doing with ChatGPT but it's funny only because I allow myself to recognize it and utilize it. I'm so taken back by it. I'm like, oh my god.
Troy Washington:This makes life so easy. And, you know, and and I'm I'm I'm energetic about it. I'm trying to share it with everybody. But here's the truth the true reality of it. This ease, this thriving that I'm feeling right now was available before ChatGBT.
Troy Washington:There was something called Hoop Suite back in the day. There was something before that. I think about when we were hustling on Amazon selling CDs. Like, there's always been something in place for us to make our life easier if we were willing to take the time to to to take that breath and look at it in its true form. Look at it for what it truly was.
Troy Washington:And again, I I just encourage that some some a lot of times things are gonna seem too big because they are new. But if you allow yourself to breathe, realize, and, again, not try to work it, just understand it first, then it's gonna change the whole dynamic of the process. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Well, one another reason why the breath works too is slow breath is associated with with ease, with with being relaxed. Like, even when you finish something that you needed to finish, you're like, and it it's almost like you you let go. And and even when you when you're breathing in slow, like, you're you're relaxed when you're breathing in slow. You can't breathe in slow and be tense.
JClay:It's just it's almost impossible. It it is impossible because just the act of slow breathing in relaxes you. And so the important thing about the breath is, like, you can you can see things from a relaxed standpoint from a instead of a tense standpoint. Like, even when I'm working out, I'll practice slow breathing even when I'm just out of breath tired. And, like, I I've I've done workouts where, like, somebody like, man, you need to breathe.
JClay:Breathe. I'm like, no. I'm I'm I'm good, man. I'm I'm I'm taking my slow breath because it's like you never panic in certain situation. Like like, panic is, we gotta we gotta do this, but now we good.
JClay:Let's do this. Even though you you can be running into a wall in the car, oh, I need to apply my brakes. Like, you can think better. And I'm I'm using that example because I've been in that example before where I had to slow down in order to see what to do. And so it is important to breathe and practice your breath and know that you can always go back to your breath.
Troy Washington:Now this is what's funny about this. I'm glad you brought that up too. Because you know I gotta bring running into the equation. And it's funny that if you were on a treadmill today and you were running and your breathing wasn't right, they're gonna tell you that you're overworking. I'll talk.
Troy Washington:It is it's it's it's it's it's a thing. And the reality of it is as you're not breathing right, if you're in a panic breath.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:Your heart rate will increase as well. And your thought process will change as well. Meaning, like, you start to say, okay. How much longer I got left? Oh, I'm getting tired.
Troy Washington:Like, everything kinda operates together. It's like a domino effect, But vice versa. And I've done this. When I was doing my thirty minute runs and I got to that part where I could not control my breath in a sense, right? And I was breathing heavy and then I'm looking looking at my heart rate go up.
Troy Washington:And starting to hear myself talk, telling myself that it's almost over or I'm fixing to get to the end of it and then realizing that if I don't change something in that moment, then I'm not going to make it to the end of or what my goal was And in those moments, I can remember vividly running and then telling myself, relax. Just breathe. And then as I kept on running and I focused on my breath, the only thing that I was thinking about at that part was my breath. I wasn't thinking about quitting anymore. I wasn't thinking about how tired I was anymore.
Troy Washington:But the other thing that happens as I'm watching it, my heart rate starts to decrease. And it's funny. Now I go from overworking to thriving and also realizing, dang. I might be able to run for another fifteen more minutes. And it was something as simple as taking the time to recognize the moment for what it truly was.
JClay:Are you really tired, Troy?
Troy Washington:You're not really tired. Are why are you, you know, why are you running? Why are you breathing that way? Can you slow your breath down? Oh, you can't slow your breath down.
Troy Washington:And so just helping myself see the pathway through it really brought me back to where I was supposed to be. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And just to bring up, like like, let's bring up weed, for example. Like, a lot of people will smoke weed because it slows them down. It calms them down. But, like, once you start really practicing your slow breaths, you won't need that anymore to slow you down.
JClay:Like, you'll be able to just to just be calm at at your own state. So so much so that if you were to then smoke weed in that state, it would actually lower your vibration tremendously where, like, I'm not doing this no more, which is something I've like, I've I've experimented with weed before, and I I can't do it because it's like I don't exist anymore. It's almost like I don't I don't even know how explained it, but I've seen people who it really does calm them down, but it's because they are always in that fight or flight mode. Like, they're they're thinking about this. They're thinking about that.
JClay:They're fearful of this. They have anxiety about this. And this is not this is not a knock or a push for it. I just wanted to just show people, like, where you can stand in the midst of it, where it could be a hindrance, it could be a help, but you have the tools already without any without needing anything external to get to the same place.
Troy Washington:And I will cosign that by using our show theme as a part of it. There's nothing else that you need. You have it all in you no matter what. But I still I still wanna elaborate on the whole thought process where you were going for weed to slow you down. But if you practice slow breathing, if you practice like, the the thing there's something that we practice all day every day nonstop, and that's thinking.
Troy Washington:No matter what. Outside of that, breathing. It's just it it like, these two things, like, we are professionals at. We are professional thinkers. We are professional think breathers.
Troy Washington:Right? And the habits, funny, I was watching this show called Lucifer one day and they said they they said the funniest, slightest joke that I ever heard that I and it it made me it made me pause and realize something in myself. Lucifer was talking to his mom, which was the goddess of all creation, of course, at the on the show. And she said, I hate being around these humans. They breathe through their mouths.
Troy Washington:Right? And so in my mind, I was like, what's she talking about? But then I caught myself breathing through my mouth, and I was like, okay. Well, obviously, it can't nothing really be wrong with breathing through your mouth. But I also understand what she was saying.
Troy Washington:Right? And so the reason why I bring that up is that these are habitual things that we do. And the reality of it is you can set a stage for yourself to say that I want my heartbeat to only be at 70 beats per minute from now for the rest of my life. And then you can walk in that. So that that that is true that you wouldn't need any outside anything in order for you to accomplish that because you're practicing breathing the way that you practice breathing all day every day anyway.
Troy Washington:All you had to do is just adjust what you're doing. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and to that, like like you said, we're we're habitual breathers. We're habitual thinkers. And so, like, since we're breathing, if we practice that slow breath, we can we can have more control and have that low heart rate. And then the same thing with thinking, if we practice not thinking, we can remember that thinking doesn't have to be involuntary.
JClay:We get to control our thoughts and the thoughts that we have. And because, again, we we we have the control. We have that, but we give over the act the things we actually have control over in favor of trying to control things that we can never ever control. And it it's just funny how we do that. Like, we we think, okay.
JClay:I'm a give this up, but I'm a take this. But, like, no, you can't. This is not this is not under your control, and it never will be. But the one thing that is you're trying to give this away to other circumstances, other people, other ideas, other thoughts. Don't do that no
Troy Washington:It's it's funny when you say that because it shows that our logic is because there are things that we can't control, there are things within us we can't control too. Right? It's like, because I don't have control of this stuff, I can't control this stuff. And the reality of it is, if you control this stuff, you also control that stuff. But you gotta control this stuff first.
Troy Washington:And it's it's it's just a it's a beautiful thing. Even when I talk about the people that I have in my life are because of the the emotions, the mental way that I think, the outlook on life, those are things that I control. That's the reason why I have the people in my life that are there because I've already controlled what my insider was supposed to be so my world reflects it. And it doesn't mean that I don't have some people in my life that because I haven't recognized why they're there. It's not something that I haven't put there.
Troy Washington:But I put it there. And I might want them for another reason. And and one thing that I always would tell my wife about because she she she likes to say that I talk loud. Which I do talk loud. It's just a part of my, my, my, my, Troy, right?
Troy Washington:Yeah. But whenever I go around my friends, they all know I talk loud too. The reason why they bring me around is because something in them tells them they want that voice there right now. I need this voice that's louder than everybody else's because he might have something to say that somebody else won't say. But it's the same thing.
Troy Washington:When I invite someone around me that's not as loud as me, that's quiet, or maybe not talk, it's because something in me is that I've set is saying that I need that calming factor. I want this thing to to to make me be a little bit more subtle with what I got going on. But, again, you control the outside by controlling what's on the inside first. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:I I love that because, you know, some people might be thinking like, how how does the how does the inside control the outside? It it's like you said, like, you you attract certain things. You repel certain things, and it's all based on your current vibration. Like, have you okay. Let's say it from the from the giving perspective.
JClay:Have you ever had a person around you that, like, no matter what you said, like, they soaked it up and really appreciate it, it made you wanna give more and talk more and give more. Yeah. And it it's the same thing on the on the receiving end. Like, when we're in a state of gratitude, everything around us wants to just give to us because we really appreciate it. We're like, man, thank you.
JClay:This is amazing. I never thought of it. Like, I never had experienced this. Thank you for the like, when you when it's that genuineness, you you want everything wants to give to that energy. And, like, nobody is exempt from it, which is why we should always be in the state of gratitude as much as possible by just just being thank by by looking for things that we truly are grateful for and recognize it.
JClay:Because regardless of what's happening in the world, everybody is grateful for something, anything. It's so many like, I'm I'm grateful for my my AirPods. Like, it it helps me. Like, I I really am, but it's we don't allow ourselves to see what we're grateful for so we don't end up in that energetic state that we attract all the the gifts that we would love to receive.
Troy Washington:Bro, that mug is definitely a circle of life, a circle of gratitude. And the funny funny thing is, like, I have kids that I I I'm I'm a substitute at school. You know? And I have kids that I don't, again, I'm I'm saying to this audience now that people are in your life because of what you're doing on the inside. So I have some kids that if you were to ask me surface level, I would say they can't take or they crazy, they back just because that's just a general response for from an adult looking at kids that are not behaving in the way that you foresaw in a in a moment, right?
Troy Washington:But even getting outside of that, sometimes I have kids that will act a certain way and I understand what's in me and what I want back. So I would call those kids over and be like, look. I think that you are completely amazing and I know that you coulda got your work done faster than you got it done. Time, that's what I wanna see because I just know what you're capable of. And and and I will leave them with something like, you're great.
Troy Washington:Right? And you can literally just see the kid smile. You can see them this is a kid that's been acting crazy all class. Right? And you can see them smile.
Troy Washington:So the next time I have that kid, now this kid is okay. Now, again, this kid that I'm talking about is the class clown that doesn't wanna do anything. Right? They just wanna do their thing. But you can see when they come in this next time, they like, okay, mister Washington here and they'll hurry up and get their work done because what they're looking for now is they want that same feeling that I gave them the last time.
Troy Washington:But this is the beautiful part about it, right? I'm telling you what they're seeking from me. But how do you think it makes me feel to give it to them again? I'm talking, again, I'm talking about what I control on the inside of me that change the outside. I feel better.
Troy Washington:They're doing their work even more. They're happy about it, but I controlled all of that because I didn't fall to what the general adult would do or how they felt and reacting on reacting based off of the way my inside is. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. It it was what's funny about that too. Like, I I've seen this done for me, and I've done it as well. Like, is very appreciative of what you're giving. You and you be like, you know what?
JClay:I'm a do this for you. Let me reach out to this on your behalf. Let me do this and, like but you genuinely want to because you know that they're appreciating it and they are receiving it in a in a beautiful way. And I've been on the other side of that where somebody like, man, let me I'm like, man, you sure, man? I'm not like, no.
JClay:I I wanna do this. Here. Take this. Go do this. And and and it's beautiful.
JClay:So, like, yeah, if if you take nothing else from this episode, try to be in no. Not try. Be in that state of gratitude as much as you can. Practice that like you practice slow breath, like you practice no thought.
Troy Washington:Bro, I would tell you, this is the test, man. When somebody gives you a compliment, really be gracious and tell them how thankful you are of the comment. Just just be great gracious and watch how many comment watch how many times they give you that kind of feedback over and over again. That's number one. And back to the point of over wealth overworking and thriving so that way we can kinda bring this all home with it.
Troy Washington:And this gracious and gratitude mentality that you're talking about, when you're overworking, there is no graciousness or gratitude there. The only thing you have is force and opposition, and that should be key enough for you to recognize that you have to change your thinking of it all. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Man, that's powerful. Thriving comes from flow, not force. And that is true. Like, when when I when I was feeling overworked, when I told you about that Wednesday, I was not appreciative.
JClay:I was not at all. Like, you couldn't I couldn't buy like, you couldn't you couldn't pay me to be appreciative at that point. Like like, man, I I I just knew I had to break away and do nothing to get into that state of gratitude, that state of appreciation. Because it's almost like, what are you doing all this hard work for? And you sometimes need that reminder.
JClay:You need to be around that or in the element of that that state where you can let the appreciation flow. And so then when it comes time to to act after that, it's so easy. It's so genuine, and you you're appreciative of it. Like, I get you don't know how appreciative I am that my to do list is zero. Like, bro.
JClay:Yeah. But, yeah, go ahead.
Troy Washington:No. I I can't even imagine it. I'm I'm appreciating it with you because I would love the same for myself, but you can't even imagine how much or how appreciative I am of Chad GPT. Like, but for the simple fact of me opening it up up to it and I'm not talking about but it's just a simple fact of because I felt like all the stuff that we were going to be doing was over was going be overworking me. I found and utilized the way for my me to simplify for myself to make it easy.
Troy Washington:And now when I do it, there's so much gratitude and graciousness in every step. Even looking at perfect mode episodes again, which just reliving something that's so great is just is just I I can't even express it to you, bro. And so, like, like, I I I can't stress enough or encourage people that you have to move with gratitude in order for it to not be overworking. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:I mean, I okay. I'm glad you said that about, like, rewatching perfect mode because the the example is not not only are we great, but we don't also we don't always take time to recognize our own greatness. And what I mean by that is, like, you know, I I make music, but oftentimes when I'm listening to my songs, I'm listening for the mixing component. Like, okay. I need to bring this level up.
JClay:Man, I probably should have said this like this. Maybe I'll redo this part. Maybe like, I'm not I'm not listening in it as a listener. But once I take all that off and I listen to it, like, I'm I'm amazed, but I don't do that all the time. And it and it's it's crazy that I don't.
JClay:Like, I I should. And I say this to say as a reminder to everyone, like, we should take time to really appreciate just ourselves more without any validation from from others, not not, hey. Do you appreciate this song too? Do you appreciate this thing? Could know.
JClay:Man. You, like, you, for you, just you appreciate it.
Troy Washington:So that goes back to the point that we were making earlier by just I say a second, but it might be five minutes. It might be ten minutes. But you have to stop, breathe, and recognize You are special. You are special. You have it all.
Troy Washington:And not only do you have it all, if you don't feel like it's inside of you, you put it on the outside of you. You put everything around you. You put everybody around you. You've done all this work. There's no need to overwork anymore.
Troy Washington:Utilize. Me and Jay Clay, when we were pushing every child wins hard, all we were doing was looking for money for somebody to get behind it. And I had people on the side of us trying to give us money all the time. Like, hey, man. Y'all need to take this.
Troy Washington:We like, no. We don't wanna take your money. We need to go get this money. We were overworking ourselves in ways that we shouldn't have. And it was because we couldn't appreciate all that we had done before.
Troy Washington:We didn't look at ourselves and see what we created. And it's just important for you to take time to show see how complex you are, see how much you have, see what you're able to do, and then see what you've created so that way you can stop overworking and start thriving the way that you're supposed to. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And for those that don't know, every child wins is a company that we infuse music with learning tools. So, like, if you have young kids, just Google every child wins, and you'll hear some some fired number songs, a b c songs, spelling songs, numbers, colors, all that good stuff. But, yeah, I mean, that's so true. Like, this is what we're doing this for, and for some reason, we felt guilty of of accepting help, but it was simply because we weren't appreciating the magnitude of what we were doing for ourselves.
JClay:We were just I don't know. I I I don't know. We we were overworked, like you said. And you can't see clearly. You can't think logically when you're under something, like, under the spell of being over overworked.
Troy Washington:And and I'll say this too just to add because I wanna make sure we drive this point home, fam. Like, we were overworked but we chose that. And anytime you're being overworked, you're choosing that in the moment. Alright, you when you go to work every day and you don't wanna go, you are upset about that every single day but you choose to go every day and there's always a way out of it if you choose to give yourself a time to sit down, decompress, and realize what I'm capable of. Look, I understand.
Troy Washington:I'm 43 now, bro. And I'm gonna be 44. And at 44, because I look deeper and deeper every day, I start to realize even more and more what I can do or what I should do or how I should do it. And again, you would think that at age 25, 20 years is enough after you done been wild and lived in the streets and did everything that you that you recognize it all. But you are you are ever evolving.
Troy Washington:You are ever growing. You are ever learning. Every moment you see something that you don't see, but you see it. You're you're you're the the the ultimate computer. You have it all.
Troy Washington:And the reality of it is, if you take the second to realize what that is, it changes everything for you. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Every belief comes with its own world. So you you won't know what you know until you just join that world or until you accept a certain belief or reject another belief. Well, you you technically can't reject. You can just add more beliefs toward what you want.
JClay:But, you know, to to say I'm overwhelmed is a world in itself. To say I'm gonna allow myself to to be free of this. I'm gonna allow myself to thrive It's another world that you get to experience certain things. So even, like you said, even if you made all these decisions in the past, it has no bearing on the now moment because the now is always from a new perspective based on the beliefs that are coming to the surface right now.
Troy Washington:So I know we're at the end, man, and I just wanna tell everybody that, you know, we're grateful for everybody being here joining us, and, hopefully, we help you realize that you are perfect. And if you are just jumping on at the end of the show, the reason why we say that you're perfect is because you are one of one, numero uno. And what you have to provide to us, we need. Just the same way that we feel like what we have to provide is something that somebody else's need. Somebody else's else's needs.
Troy Washington:And truth enough, man, bro. Sometimes I've heard the same thing over and over again, and it was literally the right person that told me, even though it was the same thing that somebody else said for it to click in order for me to move in the way that I needed to move. So I want y'all to understand that you're hearing it from us today that you are perfect. You are perfect. And if you feel like this show could be helpful to someone else, please like, share, and subscribe.
Troy Washington:You can join our YouTube, and we're gonna keep doing what we're doing. We don't know you know, we we just grateful for you more than anything that we could ever say. But go ahead, Jay. You can take us out, baby.
JClay:Yeah. Appreciate y'all again too. Rocking with us on this show. We here every Sunday at twelve noon central. So, yeah, just join us.
JClay:Hit us up in the in the comments if you got questions about anything, any topics you want us to explore, any any more things. But just appreciate y'all, and remember, you're a perfect creation made by a perfect creator, so you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. If I reminded you that you are perfect, you argue me down or step into your perfection? To perfect tomorrow. Welcome to perfect tomorrow.
JClay:Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, spiritual teacher Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
