S5E29: Facing Fear Head-On - Tools for Courage and Confidence
If I reminded you that you are perfect, you argue me down or step into your perfection? To perfect tomorrow. Welcome to perfect tomorrow. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm Jay Clay, rapper, a spiritual teacher, with my cohost Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor.
JClay:Let's be real. So let's be perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:What up? Yeah. What up? Welcome to perfect mode. And first off, let me start by telling y'all that we love y'all.
Troy Washington:We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere, sharing our thoughts, hopefully, in helping you realize that you are perfect. And the only reason and, I mean, the only reason you think that you're not perfect is if you're looking at this person next to you and saying, I'm not them. But guess what? You are you, and that's all you need. And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor.
Troy Washington:And I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher. And we're about to jump on today and talk about facing fear head on, tools for courage and confidence. Facing fear head on. What up, Jay?
JClay:What up? What up? Man, Facebook changed how they share stuff, so I I was during your intro, I was hitting the share. But everyone, you know you know this is gonna be a helpful show, so hit the share button. Like, subscribe if you haven't already.
JClay:Appreciate y'all being here on this perfect day, this perfect Sunday at the perfect time here to talk about facing fears.
Troy Washington:Yeah. So I guess for me starting out, you know, my my first thought was how often are we facing fears or how often are we looking at things that we may feel like are in front of us, and we don't wanna take a chance at it because there is fear, but we don't recognize it as fear. We place it or we, I guess, say that it's something completely different. That's kinda the first thing that came to my mind. But what were you thinking about when you saw this?
JClay:Yeah. Well, even just responding to what you said, it's one of those things that's that's dormant. Like, we don't always realize we're being fearful in so many things because it's become natural to us. We we've been naturalized in certain ways to exhibit fear. Like, oh, you can't do that.
JClay:You shouldn't say that. You shouldn't be allowed to do that. Who told you that was okay? You know, things like that. But you might censor yourself from certain things like, nah.
JClay:Who am I? I don't deserve such things. Or it's it's it's a lot of internal dialogue that is said that we might not realize is actually fear in disguise. And so yeah. So so I I guess to answer your question too, that's kinda what I was thinking about about, like, really addressing these fears, not only the ones that you know about, but the ones you might not be aware of.
Troy Washington:So I guess the big question is, you know, how do you recognize something is fear? Or how do you recognize that this is something that I'm not taking on in the with because I'm afraid versus whatever other reason that you may have told yourself? Because, again, a big part of this is acknowledging that it's fear so that way that block that you have in front of you, you can realize is is removable or something that you can kinda overcome. But, again, I think if at least from my standpoint, whenever I run up against this that I didn't recognize was fear, you know, if I I guess I guess if I if I recognize it as fear, then my approach to it kinda changes versus me just saying, oh, this is something that I cannot do. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Right. So it's it's interesting because I'm I'm trying to think of the the ways I I've handled it. Because, like, one rule I've made for myself is if it's fearful, I gotta do it. Like, I I always like to distinguish between fear and a bad feeling. A bad feeling, no.
JClay:I'm not I I it don't feel right. But fear is usually something in me that's like, no. I should be able to do this, but I'm I'm hesitant for some reason. And it and it's kind of really about plaguing yourself, going within to see, okay. Am I hesitant because I don't think this is for me?
JClay:Am I hesitant because I I really just don't wanna do it? Or I would love to do this, but maybe I fear how I'm gonna be received. I I fear what others might say or or certain things. So it's it's a level of being real with yourself, like, not lying to yourself. And I can't say that I've always had that open communication with myself, but I do now.
JClay:And I I'm trying to remember, like, what was the the changing point. But but perhaps it was conversations like this that led me to being more aware of that. What would you say?
Troy Washington:No. No. And, so number one, I think that the first thing that you said was the conversation with yourself is important. And I I also, I guess to that and and using myself as the example, I wasn't always able to have the conversation with myself because I didn't know how to even start it. I didn't know what I was seeking.
Troy Washington:So, you know, if there was something that came up in front of me that I just didn't do because, again, when I say come up in front of me, I'm talking about things that's the top of my mind. Like, I have this idea, this grand idea. And immediately, when this idea comes, I either have the the the audacity to say, you know what? I'm about to just go ahead and do this, or sometimes an idea comes up, and I don't even give it any opportunity to have any growth mentality. So beyond that initial thought of it, I don't see what it can become in my mind's eye.
Troy Washington:And so there's something that's blocking that, and a lot of times, I don't recognize I don't recognize that there's a fear of what people might think if I do it, or there's a fear that I might not be able to accomplish it. It's just more of okay. Cool. Next thing. And there's a disbelief in it as a as a whole for me to even walk that pathway.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay, and I I'll get into it a little bit later, but that's the way that I see it.
JClay:Yeah. I I I like that. And and and just before we get too far ahead, let's kinda talk about what is fear. Like, what what is it really? In my upcoming single that's coming out in the next month, I have a line that says, you can't look fear in the face because there's plenty scared.
JClay:And it like, that's and that's when you think about it, it's like, yeah, fear is a match of that scared vibration. So why even be scared of it when it's just afraid of you? But, also, I I heard this quote that I wanna post is imagination without guidance. And it's like, oh, that that one stops me in my tracks because it's like, that's so true. Because every every fear is imagined.
JClay:So it it is your imagination. And it's just is it being guided, or are you leading it down a a dark path?
Troy Washington:Yeah. Go ahead. No. I I so there's a ton of things that come to my mind when I look at your your your question here, but even more with your quote from your song, which is beyond dope that I gotta tell you. Like, how can you look fear in the face?
Troy Washington:I know I'm not saying it the right way, but but but you said but it's because it's plenty scared. And even that alone, when I look at words and how I feel about them when I first hear them. When I think the word love, I think of only joyous things. So love can only be happiness, can only be joy. Right?
Troy Washington:And so, again, even going back to you, fear in its word, it's supposed to be scary. It's supposed to be fright you know, frightful of things, and the the the truth or the reality, again, that's why I love that is like, how could it ever match me? It is fear in its in its core. Right? So why would I even be a part or allow that to become a part of anything that I got going on?
Troy Washington:So I did I said I had to come back and say all of that because I wanna salute you on the quote that is that's a firefighter thing. But to your point, you're right. Like, the fear of it, it it it it shouldn't even be of us, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Right. And and that that's one of the important things, though, is to realizing that fear is really just our imagination. So what's powerful to that to to me in that is that we have control over it because it's our imagination. It's not like it's your imagination or this person's imagination.
JClay:No. It's my it's it's what I'm seeing. It's what I'm visualizing. It's what, in some cases, I might be trying to manifest. And it's like, well, wait a minute.
JClay:If I have control over this, this is not what I wanna imagine. This is not what I I want to to see or experience. And and a lot of times people think imagination is just what you see in your mind, but sometimes it's what you feel in your spirit. Like, these things based on the idea of what you think will happen that hasn't really actually happened yet.
Troy Washington:So to the point of the question here oh, my bad. My bad. We're still going. Okay. So to the point of the question here, what fear what fear really is imagination without guidance?
Troy Washington:I think that when these things come up to the top of your mind, this is when you have to give yourself the opportunity versus shutting it down immediately, the opportunity to see it through, to actually use your imagination to see what it will or can become. Because, again, when I used the example earlier, a lot of times things come to our top of our mind, and we don't even actually give it a chance to see it through. We just say, next thing. Next thing. Oh oh, here it is.
Troy Washington:Oh, I can see. Oh, when they said to see this. When this happens, like, we start to see and to your point, we start to feel a certain way about the things that we're actually seeing like, man, when Jay Clay hear this, oh, it's going to be tight like and so, I think that, you know, I think the first step in this is actually allowing yourself to see things through that you've kinda passed over. And that's visualize, visualize, and feel and see how you feel about that. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. The the thing with that is that fear is so weak. You know what I mean? Like, not not not saying you're weak forever fearing something, but, like, fear itself is so weak that it's like, why even fear it? I I love what you said about go down the path of that because a lot of times when we do, we realize how ridiculous it is.
JClay:We're we're putting so much stuff that wouldn't happen. And a lot of times when we go down the path, it's like, oh, well, that happened, I know I could always just do that, or I could probably switch and do this, or this isn't the end of the world. I can just regroup and come back, you know, stronger or or something like that. I could practice more. I could do whatever more.
JClay:And that fear is almost like it it it's it's really an excuse we give ourselves to not pursue something that we really wanna pursue. So it's like, why would I even wanna excuse that when it's something that I really want?
Troy Washington:The the thing that I like, especially in what you're saying, is just going down the path of it. The reality of it is we're always going down the path of something, and you would never look at yourself as being foolish for something that you believe that you could do in the first place. Like, we don't ever think of but, like, when I think about getting up and going to the basketball game today, like, I can literally imagine everything that I'm gonna do, and I never think for a second, man, it's gonna be crazy. And if I get in that car, though I know people have accidents all the time. Man, it's gonna be it's probably gonna be a fight at this because people gonna be rowdy.
Troy Washington:Though people I go all the time and people are rowdy. I never anticipate or allow the fear of those things to be a part of my world. I don't think about having an accident. I don't think about getting into no fight. I just say, well, this is the way that this is going to go.
Troy Washington:And the reason why is because it's natural for me to believe that I can do something that I have no fear of. Right? It's it's weird. But I think that whenever you give yourself, when you run up against those things that you do have that natural fear for, you have to see it through. Imagine yourself going to this place without the problems.
Troy Washington:Because, again, I'm saying that I'm going to a basketball game, and I I can see all these things happening, but I don't imagine any of the negative things happening to me. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And it's it's so many things that go into fear psychologically that people might not even realize. And you might be like, no. This this doesn't go this deep, but it does. So one, let's say you fear a thing.
JClay:Not only are you strengthening it strengthening it because you're saying, okay. This thing is greater than me. This thing has the power to derail me, but I'm giving it its power right now by even fearing it and stopping myself from doing it. But in another instance, you could say, I'm stronger than the higher power right now because even though the higher power gave me this desire of what I want to do, I'm being fearful of it because I judged against it. And the only way I could judge against it and be right and be accurate is if I'm more powerful than the higher power.
JClay:But then if you're more powerful than the higher power, why even fear a thing? And so we delude ourselves into these illusions, delusions. And we live according to it, not realizing the path that we're putting ourselves on and the blocks that we are creating when it's like, no. That's not true. If if if the higher power even gave you this desire, it's for you to take this action and pursue it and not even be fearful.
JClay:Or even if you are fearful to do it anyway and just accept that you really don't know. You really have no idea what this experience is is gonna bring. And even if you were to look back, you learned something from every experience you ever achieved. So it's like, why wouldn't this be another one of those?
Troy Washington:So I'm a tell you what's funny, and this what this makes me think of. So for everybody that don't know outside of being a real estate broker, I'm a coach. So I coach kids ages, you know, 13, 14 now, eleven, twelve, 13, 14, and also, you know, six, seven, eight. And, you know, the the beautiful part about my life and the coaching part of it is I always have a bit of uncertainty every single time I have a game coming up. Right?
Troy Washington:And so the way my life is set up is we practice all week, and then we have these games against people that we don't know if we can beat or not. And, you know, the only data that I can kinda go on a lot of times is what is their record or how many points have they put up? And the funniest part about it is when I look at the paper, there's always, especially if it's something that I didn't expect, there's always a sense of fear that sets in to myself that I know that I cannot give up to my kids, that I know I cannot give up. But there's always something there. And I and I have to process it.
Troy Washington:Right? Because that fear is always, I don't wanna lose to these people in whatever imaginatory way that I could do it. Right? And so this is the beautiful part about me being the coach and being responsible for other people in a way that I'm able to also practice overcoming my fear. The reality of it is, I cannot go, I cannot not go play the game.
Troy Washington:I gotta go play the game. And so because I have to go play the game, I have to mind before I'm in front of people, before I'm in front of the kids, before I'm standing on the sideline because if I or if they are able to witness that that I'm feeling fearful of or that I believe, that can also in turn run off rub off on them. And so what I allow myself to whenever this fear sets in every single time as I start to imagine all the great things that my kid can do on the court or my kids can do on the court. I start to imagine all of the the things that I saw them practice. Or to imagine things that we've done working on the team that we're about to play, and then I am able to imagine myself winning regardless of what I thought in the first place.
Troy Washington:And so that way, I'm able to walk on the court. Now, again, for me to voice that or vocalize this the way that I did was, I'm telling you that I literally imagined something different than in the beginning. And I gave myself enough time to process it so that way it can present and I can feel exactly the way that I wanted to feel when I'm on the sideline. I'm gonna read what Robert Clay just said as well. He says, I am no longer afraid because I am filled with the faith of God.
Troy Washington:That's right. That's what's up. What what you got, Jake?
JClay:Love it. And and to to your story and to what shout out to my dad and and to what he was saying, like, even the quote from the the song, you can't look fear in the face because there's plenty scared. Like, when you when you shine light on it when when you shine light on the fear, like, it dissipates. You know, light and darkness can exist in the same space. It one lightness will prevail when you shine a light on on the darkness.
JClay:And when you see it for what it is, when the darkness disperses, you're like, oh, this is not a this is not even a a bad thing at all. So using your story as an example, let's say you did, you know, fear losing. So then you can look at it and be like, okay. How did we lose? Oh, they did this.
JClay:Well, I can just do this then. And then I can do this instead so it doesn't even come to this. So I don't even have to be afraid of of this. I can feel, like you said, joyful that we our chances are looking really good for winning. And in a lot of situations, when we when we shine a light on that fear, when we look at what we're really afraid of, it it has in it, like, the seed of what's needed to overcome that with ease so that it's not even a factor.
Troy Washington:So and and I love I love that, you know, shining the light on it. And and the the the key here, I I guess, is when you shine a light on it, you're shining a light on you. Like, the light like, you you're you're you're giving yourself the ability to see truly how powerful you are. That's, you know, that's a big key. And and the reality of it is that seed is always in you because it can't come from anywhere else.
Troy Washington:And so when you give your opportunity within yourself and also, you know, approach the situation or circumstances head on as you say, the reality of it is because you do have the answer because you are all things because you do have the seeds. There's always an there's always an opportunity and a way to counteract what you thought. And it doesn't mean that it always comes easy because sometimes you do have to dig deep to see what's in you. Sometimes you don't recognize it because you haven't given yourself an opportunity to know that it's true about yourself. But I promise you, you know, to your point that when an obstacle that when you're seeing it through and the obstacle you give yourself a a true opportunity to look at it, you say, well, dang.
Troy Washington:Well, I see this big block in front of me, but I also know that I've approached this block in another situation before, and there was a pathway around the left side of it. And so now you're giving yourself the the the chance to to move. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And I and I wanna bring back something you said to shine even more light on it is you said you realize that the seed is within you, and it's been within you the whole time. I think that's beautiful, and that's often overlooked. Like, oftentimes when when we do overcome certain things, we don't always realize we we overcame them. Like, you know, we were that light was shined on us and in us, and we are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.
JClay:So much so that even even you can say that that fear is a is a trigger to look at your next limitation or the or the or the the false belief that you believe about yourself that needs to be overcome. And as they say, knowing is half the battle. Like, if you were to ask yourself right now, like, you know, what am I afraid of, or or what's stopping me? What are my limitations? Nothing might come up.
JClay:But then when you're real with yourself in the moments that you feel this fear, you're like, oh, now I can now I can do something about this. Now I can step more into my power because I'm aware, and we shouldn't we shouldn't fear fear. We should, in a sense, embrace it.
Troy Washington:And and and, again, the beautiful part about it is that you put the fear there as well. The fear didn't just come out of nowhere. Like, again, it just show it it it's just a true testament to how complex we are and how capable we are and how much we are able to retain. But the reality of it is we're walking computers. And we're walking around all day every day looking at everything, processing information, and determining what this information means to us at all times.
Troy Washington:Like, that's how cold we are. And I know it might not seem like it's a big deal, but, like, literally, sometimes fear is something that we walk past. We saw, we identified, and and the craziest part about it is when we might have saw and identified that thing, we weren't afraid of it initially because it was it was just it was just something that, you know, that was we passed by but the the thing that happens within us is we start to process that in our subconscious mind to be what we wanted to be. And again, this is all things that we've decided to to do on our own. Right?
Troy Washington:Like, it's just we're we're built up to be that code. So I I I guess I said all that to say that the is there too by you. The fear has been grown and cultivated by you. And, you know, the best example that I could think of is my my my my seven year old son that he's seven. His birthday just passed.
Troy Washington:And I think about all the times that we don't allow him to watch certain things because we know that there's not enough of us counteracting the the thoughts that he allowed to cultivate in himself grow to offset it, right? And so, he'll say, I'm not afraid of that but when he said and he's not really saying it on the inside, he's saying, I want to watch this to show y'all that I'm not afraid but I'm really afraid and that's kind of how we react as humans or as adults where we're speaking something, but we're not really giving ourselves the opportunity to see it through to show ourselves that that's not what we're afraid of. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and a lot of times, we're a hundred times greater than we perceive our fears to be. And just to give an example, like, a lot of people may be afraid of insects, of spiders. A spider is like this big, and look how big we are. But, you know, people will really be afraid of spiders for that's that's just an example.
JClay:Scared
Troy Washington:for their
JClay:life. Scared.
Troy Washington:Go ahead. I know I said scared for their life. Scared.
JClay:Like Yes.
Troy Washington:Not just a little scared, like, scared for their life.
JClay:Yeah. And something else I thought about is, like, how many people are actually, you know, afraid of snakes? And, like, even me, if I see a snake, I might run or jump real quick. Mhmm. And it and it's and it's almost like why when I think it's the bible quote as a as a so called punishment.
JClay:It was like, now the the snake would be at the foothill of man. So it's like, that's a that's a demotion. That's a weakness, so to speak. Yeah. We would still be scared of this thing that's crawling.
JClay:And and and it's it's just amazing to me how we let our imaginations run wild when we are the one that are running our imaginations.
Troy Washington:No. No. You know what's funny about this? And I know I'm probably finna go down a different kind of rabbit hole, but I gotta say it, though. And I'm using the snake and the spider analogy as the example.
Troy Washington:Yeah. Because the reality of it is, bro, when people and I I'm not saying that I'm not one of these people. Now I probably won't be scared for my life for a spider, but I'm like you, though. If it's a snake, I'm gonna move out the like, you're not gonna be a rent like, throw a snake in the car and see what happened. You know what saying?
Troy Washington:While I'm driving. But but but but but my point is, though, bro, like, to the point that you're making, they're for their life because of amount of power that we're given something so small, something that we've known has gotten a demotion, something that we know that with the flick of a wrist or the flick of a foot that we can eliminate. Right? And the reality of it is that's only because we gave them power when the truth is anything can kill you. Like, if I drop a penny from a from a from a a a high high story building, it could kill you.
Troy Washington:If I throw a iron at you, it can kill you. But when if you put a iron next to me, I'm not going to just jump and be afraid of my life for my life. If I hit you with a with a skillet or a bat or, you know, if I stick a chip in your throat and it gets stuck, like, there's all of these different things that have the exact same power as the snake or the spider, but yet we don't give it as much power or we don't fear for our life. I'm I'm gonna eat chips every day. I'm not gonna ever be worried about that mug getting stuck in my throat until it does.
Troy Washington:But it it it just goes to show, you know, the point that you're making it. Go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. And so something we always preach about on the show is that, you know, your beliefs are the most important things because they affect you the most. And that what you believe, you you live according to. Like, it's in your realm of experience, so to speak. And the same with the things that you give your attention to.
JClay:The more you give your attention to something, the more it expands, the more it becomes a belief. And fear is also a belief. Like, we we we see what happens to someone else, and we might internalize it and say, like like you said about the chip being stuck in somebody's throat. Somebody might see where that had happened to them, and then they internalize it and say, oh, no. That can happen to me.
JClay:I'm not gonna eat chips anymore. But, again, we don't know their belief system. We don't know anything. Like, the number one cause of death is the belief in death. And whatever you believe in, you're gonna experience at some point unless you change your your beliefs.
JClay:And the important thing to note is be mindful of what you're receiving. Be mindful of the of what you're ingesting, not not by just food, but by thoughts because you could be accepting a belief system that has nothing to do with you that never has, and so you're becoming afraid of it. Like, the the reason we we are afraid of maybe spiders or snakes or these other things is because others told us to, and we didn't question it. We just said, oh, we're supposed to be afraid of those things. Let's be afraid of them.
JClay:And now when we have a more in tuned mind or we we know the power of choice we have, we haven't went back to look at all of these beliefs that we've collected over time to see if they're still valid or if they if they're just based on falsehood.
Troy Washington:You know, what's funny about this whole this whole belief system thing. So I've been fortunate enough to be a manager in this time on this Earth that I've been in. And so when you're a manager, you get to manage a number of different types of people, young, old, energetic, low energy. And because of that, I've been able to be able to have developed, you know, unique relationships with people and and and experience what they're going through or what they have going on based off of them sharing it with me. Right?
Troy Washington:And, you know, I've had multiple older people, elders is what we would call them that have worked for me. And the time they were working for me, they were up there in age, like, 70. You know, I had some up there in 80. And I would always ask them, you know, why are you still coming to work? I mean, you can get retirement.
Troy Washington:You could be chilling. You know, again, this is all about a belief system. In my mind, the way that I believe or the way that I've been able to see it through is, I don't know if it's going to happen this way, but this is the, this is the thing that gives me the motivation to keep living, to keep growing, to keep building, to to to share this love and this energy with other people because any fear of getting old is not there for me because I've seen it through of how it's supposed to look. So, when I'm talking to them, I'm like, why you still working? You come up here.
Troy Washington:You here early. I'm here earlier. I'm a manager but you're early with me all the time. Why you, you know, and and their entire thought process was, I keep working because I wanna be around people because I don't wanna be alone because if I'm alone, then I'm a die. Or if I'm not working, then I'm a die.
Troy Washington:And so their entire belief system is if I stop doing this thing that I'm doing, then I'm going to die. And the reality of it is, all the people that have said that to me, I believe them in what they were believing for themselves, which again, it's not a fear that I've taken on myself because I don't believe that I see it through, but it all happened to them. When they stopped working, they passed away. And when their significant other left, they passed away. And it was because their will, their desire, that power that we all have to continue to go, it it it it I don't wanna say that it died.
Troy Washington:It was true. It was true what they set for themselves. It was true the pathway that they wanna go down, and that was all based off of their belief system and also fear of how their life would be any different than it would be if they changed it from what it was at that moment. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And that's why so many quotes just about placing your faith in a higher power because that's an abundant never ending power. But to
Troy Washington:Real tired.
JClay:Place your faith in anything that's finite. And when that passes, you know, like, when if you're no longer working and you believe that work is the catalyst for it, then you go along. You follow your faith. And it it it's man, it's it's funny because we follow our faith, but we are the ones that place our faith where we want to. And that's the that's, oh, that's a light bulb moment for me.
JClay:So it's it's important that you gauge what what do you have faith in, and why do you have faith in this? Why do you have faith in this fear? Why do you have faith that this fear would turn out in the worst possible way? And just really ask yourself that, but go ahead.
Troy Washington:No. No. I and I I just wanted to wanted you to elaborate for our audience what your light bulb moment is and what that meant because I think that would be because I I know what it is. I hear you, but Yeah. I know that that's one of those turning points that we all kinda need in order to see it through in a sense.
JClay:Well, okay. So what what I meant is, like, you hear a lot of people say, you know, I'm led by faith, which you can imply is I'm led by god. But, again, we don't know personally what their faith in and even what that faith in god means because I've heard people speak of a limited god. Like like, they don't think they might not think it's limited, but from my viewpoint, I'm like, I don't know what like, why why do you have such little faith in god? I'm I'm thinking in my mind.
JClay:And when people say led by faith or even anyone, like, we we are we we truly are led by our faith. Like, we can't escape it. That's inescapable. But we get to choose what we place our faith in, who we place our faith in, what actions we place our faith in, if any. And I'm not saying don't place your faith in anything because, I mean, you you kinda have to.
JClay:It's just again, we are we are love. We are faith in action. We are we are so many of these things. And if you're gonna put your faith in something, why not put it in the most abundant, beautiful, never ending energy there is? And so you always have access to everything always.
Troy Washington:So, man, I I know this is not where we were going, but I have to just say these things real quick. So that's a part of the reason why the whole heaven talk is a thing. Right? Because we're we're placing our faith, and then this is what's crazy about it. At least this is my perception of what I'm about to say anyway.
Troy Washington:We place our faith in not making a mistake a lot of times so that way we can go to a place where there are no mistakes. Right? So it's kinda like, I gotta be perfect here, but based off of wood so that way I can have the abundance later, right? And again, I I I get it. I understand it.
Troy Washington:But the craziest part about it is, why can I not have the abundance here? Why can I not place my faith in having heaven on earth? Why can I not give myself the opportunity to believe? And again, when you when you think about what you can achieve anytime, if you feel like I cannot have heaven until I pass away, then you cannot. It's just it because that's you you've already capped off what you can have here.
Troy Washington:You've already capped off how much joy you can have. You've already set it in stone. And that's the reason why when something does, something great happens to you, you can feel like it's too good to be true or you're not deserving of it. Say it for now. But the reality of it is when you talk about placing your faith or having your faith guide you or what the limitations are, why not believe that heaven is now?
Troy Washington:Why not believe that I can have everything now? Why not? Well, why allow somebody that I saw not get the loan deterred me from getting the loan. And I and I'm using that as an example because I wanted it to be something practical. Why?
Troy Washington:You know, I I try to tell my kids after every basketball game, a bad shooting game is not the end of the world. Because that's how we feel about everything. When it doesn't go our way, it's the end of the world. But a bad game is an opportunity for a good game next time. A bad day is an opportunity for heaven tomorrow.
Troy Washington:Like, I know what this side of it feels like and tomorrow, I know it's going to be a thousand times better. It's going to be everything that I look for. But that's setting intentions. That's knowing, like you said, seeing through and and having faith in something that's beyond what you felt like you can have. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I'm I'm glad you brought up mistakes because a lot of people have a fear of mistakes, and mistake is I I feel misunderstood. Like, if you break down mistakes, it's like a missed take. So if you're shooting a movie, take one. Oh, I messed up.
JClay:Take two. Take three. Now we don't go and watch all of these takes that have taken. The movie would be eighteen hours. We watch the finished version, and we sometimes forget that it took many takes to do this.
JClay:Now a mistake is not this thing that's forever placed etched in history. Like, we like to make it believe. Like, we like to imagine it to be like, oh, I can't make a mistake. If I make this mistake, I'm etched in history as this. Everything we see is the the best take of all of these so called mistakes.
JClay:Like, even on social media, people probably did that video 10 times before they got it right. Steph Curry, who shoots all the time, we don't see all the misses he missed when he's training and and shooting. And so this mistake gets a bad rep, and and and we start to fear it. So we don't wanna move forward and try things because we fear we're gonna make a mistake that's gonna lead to us just being this outcast and not receiving heaven, like you said, not being this this perfect person. But we're already perfect in the fact that we get to redo and redo and keep doing and do it better this time.
JClay:Like, everything is really this one moment that we just keep adding to and changing the perspective of all the time anyway. So it's like, do it. Like, have fun with it. But go ahead.
Troy Washington:And, no, so so you said so much, bro. So you but you but you you but you keep you you're going hard, though. The before I even go into what I'm a say is you just said everything is this just this one moment, and we're just adding things to it in order to change the perspective of it. You don't even I I know you know how dope that is, but I'm a tell you, you don't know how dope that is. Like, you know, we emphasize everything is here and now all the time.
Troy Washington:And just a simple fact that, you know, it makes me think of when people shoot a movie to your point of of the mistake, mistake is whenever they do car scenes and they're sitting in the car, but they have this little this video thing running on the side of it to make it seem like they're driving down the street. Yeah. But they're not going anywhere. They're literally just right here, and they just have different things in the scene to like, the scene is changing. So you're right.
Troy Washington:Life is always right now. And just just me changing my mind right now determines what this scene is gonna change into. So I I love that, number one. But I also want to go back to to again, the mistake part of it and I told you about me and my wife being in Cabo and it was just one Tiffany moments for me and we're sitting at a restaurant. We were in the lobby to get our seats.
Troy Washington:And while we're sitting there waiting to get our seats, she's she's taking selfies of herself. She's just taking a picture, and she, you know, take another picture, and she's doing all of these different things. And in my mind, you know, the thing that come to my mind, my mind is, oh, my wife is beautiful. My wife go hard. But then I ask her like, you know, why you taking all these pictures?
Troy Washington:And she says she trying to get the perfect shot. And and again, this is not for her, but this is just my thinking in the moment, like, what do you mean get the perfect shot? Every shot that you've taken is perfect, but she's trying to highlight specifically one moment and and classify it as a perfect shot, eliminating all the other perfect shots that she's taken. And, you know, I, you know, life is crazy like that that we will diminish imminent of us as if it's not important. And, you know, again, even when I think about this from a fear standpoint, like, you will highlight a specific moment that is is fleeting, is passing.
Troy Washington:Like, it looks like that in that second, but you can change the way you look at it any moment. And it's just funny that we process things that way. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and I love that you said highlight a past moment. And it's almost like we can't get past it because we're always thinking about what we did before. Like, man, that was the greatest thing we ever did. I wish I could go back to that time, but it's like, nah.
JClay:This this is that time, but it's you have more control over it now. You get to see it from a new perspective. You have more courage about it if you'll just be willing to to try it out. That that's that's one thing I think about. Like, you you you spoke about being older.
JClay:I think it's not even so much about age. It's it's the mindset of trying new things. When you're a kid, it's not that you try new things because you think that I'm a kid. I'm gonna try new things. You're just you you're not embodied by all of that past stuff that you're holding on to.
JClay:So you're freer. You move free freely. You're like, I'm just gonna do this. I don't know what's gonna happen, and I'm just gonna try this to the fullest of my ability. And the more you try that, like, it it, in a sense, keeps you young because you're not afraid of anything.
JClay:You you can you can have almost the world end, but you can start anew. And that's what the world does anyway when you change a belief. Like, that old world crumbles in your eyes and you start a whole new world. And, again, we are the the consciousness that are the continuity between all of these worlds or all of these moments that come together. But, yeah, go ahead.
Troy Washington:No. And and so I I'm a talk about, you know, right now, bro, whenever I don't have any real estate stuff going on, you know, I go and do substitute teaching for the school. Right? And, you know, again, I'm I'm a highlight fears of myself. Number one, I never thought I would be doing that.
Troy Washington:Right? I I substituting for school. But all the evidence in my life shows that I should be around kids teaching them anything because I have a it's not because I know more than anybody but it's because I have a willingness to do it, and I have foreseen myself doing it. So, again, there's a fear of there there was a fear for me initially doing it because it was like, am I supposed to be here? What if the kids go crazy on me?
Troy Washington:What you know, all of these different things that I placed again. I'd had it I had no evidence to say that anything else would be different than what it is now. Because I've always been coaching kids. I've always you know, when we had record labels, we were essentially managing kids, doing stuff. So, I had all the evidence but somewhere along the line because of something I might have seen on TV or maybe, you know, my shout out to my mentor.
Troy Washington:I know she wasn't meaning to do it but when I told her that I thought about doing it, she was like, man, Troy, I don't know. Coaching is a lot different than being a substitute teacher. You know, the coach, the kids want you to be there when you when you coach a basketball but the kids don't want you to be there when you're in the school and so, you know, it it could've been all of these different things that again, like I told you, we allowed the fears to grow. We allowed those seeds to grow, and then it wasn't her fault that it grew. It was my fault because I I started to water that.
Troy Washington:Well, what if they what if they do act that? What if they don't want me to be there? But the way that I overcame that was I set my intentions. And what I mean by set my intentions is, I said, you know what? I have a lot to give to these kids.
Troy Washington:So every opportunity that I can give them something that I feel like is going to be growth minded and and help them overcome, then, I gotta give it to em and so because that was my intentions because I knew what I was going to do regardless of what obstacles were in front of me. I know that it was going to be done. And the funniest part about it is there have been kids that have not wanted me to be there. You get what I'm saying? Yeah.
Troy Washington:And there have been kids that have wanted to buck me because I am the substitute or disrespect me because I am the substitute. But these things are not fearful of me anymore because the intention I had in my mind was they were going to be there and I was going to be able to offset it with giving them the love that I feel like they need. And the coolest part about it, Dalje is they have kids that, well, number one, kids have gotten in trouble while I've been there. I've gotten been able to send kids out. And I have literally told those kids, I said, hey, I will write you up and I will be your friend tomorrow because I'm here to help you grow.
Troy Washington:But I've had the opportunity in moments where kids have been that those those those things that I feared in a moment. Right? Meaning, like, they were finna be that cantankerous, crazy, you know, opposition to me, and I was able to say, hey. Guess what? I know that you're smarter than you're behaving right now.
Troy Washington:I know that you're a great kid. I know that and again, this is all with them being against what I'm saying, not trying to hear me, and I've been able to say what I set my intentions on from the very beginning. And I've also been able to witness all that built up in them dissipate in a moment's time and say, you know what, mister Washington? You're right. And these relationships that I've been able to build, whether they were intentional or not from their standpoint, has been able to change because I have a relationship with all these little kids who, though they know that I can be strict, trust that I'm gonna give them what I was gonna give them from the very beginning.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And what you described is, like, what I like to think when they said casting out demons. You know, they said, like, in the bible, Jesus cast out demons. I think it was just that, like, that that vengeful spirit, so to speak, by you meeting it with love. It's like, oh, nothing else can face love but love.
JClay:Just like with light. Meet with light, that darkness fades because nothing else can meet light but light. And that like, that's the the choice we have. But but that's another conversation. Back on the the fear side of things, I I wanna talk about how, like well, actually, yeah, this.
JClay:What the tools for building courage in real time. And you you kinda started on some of those already. And and something that I'll say that I've built over time, this might not be in the moment, but just over time is, like, how I said, if I'm fearful, I'm gonna do it anyway, but I'm also gonna work on that belief to make me even fearful so that I could meet it in the middle where it's not a thing. So, like, if it's if it's if it's something that has to be done now, I'm just gonna do it. I'm just gonna be scared while I'm doing it.
JClay:But, also, afterwards, I'm gonna contemplate, okay. Why was I truly afraid of this? What brought this on? What what's what's stopping it? But go ahead.
JClay:What would you say are tools for building it in real time? I
Troy Washington:think that it it it's it's it's it's again, this goes back to the point that you made earlier in the in the conversation is giving yourself some time to have the conversation with yourself because that's the that's even that conversation is not something that's long and drawn out. And I'm gonna use my example with talking to kids as an example. Again, I'm always fearful initially, like I said, of the response that I'm gonna get from somebody whenever I'm disciplining them. Because my kids don't like to be disciplined. You know what I'm saying?
Troy Washington:So there's some evidence that there could be some pushback. But me overcoming the fear is whenever I'm presented with as an example, I'm in the classroom and I cannot get a kid to listen. There's an initial thought process of this kid is going to give me some mess that I don't want in the moment. And then I immediately tell myself, no, this kid is going to hear me out. And they're going to understand where I'm coming from and they're to respect me.
Troy Washington:And that's the offset in they moment when I said I get a and it it it that might take a split second. But it's challenging the first thought. And I guess that's the best way to explain it. Challenging the very first thought that you have with what you really want. And so once I challenge that thought, I literally just go over and say, hey, you know, look, we have already had this conversation.
Troy Washington:You're a great kid. Let's just go ahead and get on task. I know you can do your work. I know you've taken your time doing it because you like to be disruptive sometime, but guess what? You're not disruptive.
Troy Washington:You just need a little attention. I've given you your attention. Now let's get our work done so that way we can show everybody what's up. And so me doing that changes the whole dynamic. But, again, I had the conversation with myself first and said, no.
Troy Washington:I can help them change. But go ahead, Jay. I love that.
JClay:I love that. Something something I I I do now is so, you know, we always talk about the higher power and aka god, aka abundant love, aka all there is, all that is real, infinite intelligence, whatever your name for it is, I tap into that. Like like you said, like, when when you're at that moment where something is about to happen, I do the same thing because if I let my ego run it, so to speak, it's gonna be opposition. It's gonna be a fight. I'm better than you or something something, whatever.
JClay:So I I tap into that higher power where I meet light at the highest level of light, and you can't but help be affected by it. So what comes out is not even of you anymore. It's of that of that higher status, and you get to witness it. But not only that, like, let's say you were down here. You met up here.
JClay:By you doing that, even if you're temporarily up here, it changed your baseline so that when you go back down, you're still higher than you were initially, which happens to be above the problem that you feared. And so it, like, all works like a beautiful equation. Like, you tap into the higher power and let the higher power speak through you. And even if it's something that you're like, oh, man. Am I really about to say this?
JClay:I don't think we should say this. It always works out for the best because we all are connected through the higher power. So what else would know what you need to hear than the higher power? But this the idea of the separated self of the ego of me alone wouldn't know what you need, but at the higher level, it it never fails.
Troy Washington:No. I I I agree with you 100%. And, shouts out to O'Reilly. I appreciate you joining. I know you was with us last week too, so, you know, just, coming back and supporting.
Troy Washington:Definitely, definitely, appreciate it. And she says my son needs a person like you to mentor him. After the the divorce, his behavior at school is not what it needs to be. And you know, funny funny enough about that is I actually do see kids like that all the time, you know, that are going through similar situations. And just like we're talking about our fear as adults or just as people just trying to overcome, you know, the fear of becoming our best version of ourself.
Troy Washington:What I've witnessed from these kids and that's what I try to give to them is they're having the same fear. They fear that the best version of themselves is not going to be accepted or whatever that might look like or they feel like the best version of themselves has gone away because of the circumstances being changed. But I think that whenever we have the opportunity to tell them that though the situation or circumstances have changed, you're still a great person. You still can do great things. You there's no limitations you have that kind of changes the the dynamic but it's not it's it's something that had to kind of be reinforced with them because it's just like us.
Troy Washington:The thing that sets us off is what we're looking at. The thing that overcomes us being able to see it through in our mind is the consistent oppositional forces on the outside of us. Again, this is all stuff on the outside. So, I continuously see people miss jump shots. That's what my son can say.
Troy Washington:I see people miss jump shots all the time. Well, you see yourself make em too. Okay, well, but I also see Steph Curry missing shots. So, he's always had that opposition to show that he's supposed to miss shots. When the reality of it is, he doesn't have to and it's hard for him to believe it but you have to continuously instill in him but you can make every shot.
Troy Washington:Imma make the next one, coach. Imma make the next one, coach. Imma make the next one, coach because it has to be louder than what he's seen or he has to be able to visualize that in his mind and again, that's the same thing for us. Every, it's not like I get one disruptive kid a day or something that will be to my liking so that way it's comfortable. It's always going to be uncomfortable.
Troy Washington:And so I have to continuously remind myself that what I have to give to them is more important than me not saying a thing, than me bowing bowing out of it. And I have to overcome that fear in order to change the dynamic. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And you you you touched on something, there about, like, when you when you see others in this state, like, afraid to be their their true selves, it it it kinda comes to, like okay. You you spoke about, like, the heaven on earth, the heaven right now, like, not waiting, experiencing it now. We all wanna be okay. And sometimes when something happens that we have an emotional reaction to at at least even as men at some point, you think, I shouldn't have reacted like this.
JClay:It's not okay to be feeling angry about this. I shouldn't be this upset by it, but it is okay. But the funny thing in it being okay and you giving yourself permission to feel that is you instantly feel better where you don't even feel that anymore. So it's almost like it works like feel. Like, you're avoiding this thing because you're afraid of it, but right when you face it and say, you know what?
JClay:It's okay. You instantly overcome it, and it's not even a thing anymore. And so, like, one thing I noticed with with with dealing with with others and maybe their behavior isn't what we think it should be is still seeing them as that higher lit self and allowing them to be who they who they wanna be, but still treating them as their highest self possible because it changes something in them. Like, they're like, man, you still I'm acting this way, but you're still treating me like this. Like, I'm gonna I'm gonna be better.
JClay:I wanna step into how you see me because it's like, wow. I I do wanna be there, but I'm not seeing myself there, but you are seeing me there, and I appreciate it. Let's go.
Troy Washington:Bro, so to your point, so number one, I use kids as an example, but you but the reality of it is, it's not it's it's all of us. And to the point that you're making, forget about you continuously giving someone else a high vibration. Think about the time when somebody continuously gave you the high vibration. And the thing that comes to my mind is and I think that most people, if you've if you've had a a granny or a auntie or an uncle or somebody that's older than you, that you come around and they just love you. Man, Troy, he just that he just, you know, he's a computer genius.
Troy Washington:He could do all of these. Like, they all give you all of these high vibrational thoughts and tell you what they see you as. Right? And it doesn't matter how you act with anybody else. When you get around those people, your vibration changes.
Troy Washington:It always goes up to what they thought of you. And you will humble yourself to be that high vibrational being because you could always be that. And again, that just goes to show you. That's why I said, just think about the time. I know it's happened to everybody.
Troy Washington:We've always, we've all had somebody around us big up us. Even if it's not auntie or uncle, there are friends that we go around that look at you in high regard. And when you step in front of those people that look at you in high regard, you walk different. If you just give yourself an opportunity to look, you talk different. You you're you're you're going to interact different.
Troy Washington:You're to have a whole different energy. And it's not it it's because you actually believe that when you're with them. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. And and even if if you're the one doing the bigging up, you can't help be affected by that. You can't help but receive what you're giving because giving and receiving are one. So it's like, you're like, man, why am in a good mood?
JClay:It's because you're seeing everyone in that light, and you're meeting the light where it sat where all that can be reflected back is light. And so you you feel light. You feel happy. And and and, again, it's so beautiful. One thing I wanted to touch on before, it gets too late is how when we when we face the fear and we question ourselves and we go into, like, why is this why is what is why does this scare me, and what would happen if the worst possible scenario happened?
JClay:A lot of times what kept coming up with me is I'm a try again. And it's like, oh, snap. Even if this this failed miserably, I love this so much that I'm gonna try again. Like, that was so powerful that it's like, well, why not try faster so I can get there faster or learn what I need to learn faster to be there? And so, like, those those internal conversations are so, so important, and it might be the most important.
Troy Washington:No. I I agree 100%. And, you know, I I I wanna go here because it's it's it's to the show, and, you know, we always, you know, reference this. But I think that's the reason why meditation is important. I think that a lot of times when you're meditating, a lot of those fears like whenever I've been meditating, a lot of times, you know, my mind will start to run through a number of things that I, you know, different meditations tell you different things.
Troy Washington:Some people tell you to embrace it. Some people tell you to, you know, let it go. Some people tell you to like that. Just depends on what you're doing but what I like to do is embrace it. I like to see what it is while I'm it's at the top of my brain and understand why I feel that way.
Troy Washington:And I think in that way, a lot of times, you get to see that it's not real. You get to see that, oh, this is thing, these are things that I just kinda created. And so I definitely encourage, you know, meditation, you know, whether that be for two or three minutes, because I guarantee you that when you try to quiet your mind, a bunch of things are gonna pop up that you didn't anticipate, and that is your that is your playground. That is your opportunity to play around with it and see what it really looks like. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and because too, like, most fear all fears exist in our imagination. Like, fears aren't shared. You can't share a fear to me, and I take it the same way. What you showed you is not real, but, like, love can be shared equally and you feel it and understand it.
JClay:Because it happens to your imagination, you can imagine a helper coming to help you. Again, like, that could be the higher power. It could be that that aunt or uncle you love, that person that bigged you up. It could be anybody in the world that you can bring into your imagination with you to help you overcome that fear, and they will be there to help. Like and a lot of times, just knowing that the right person is there with us or watching us, it makes us perform 10 times better or just be that much better.
JClay:And we we all have that power within us already because we are the cultivators and creators of our world, which is pretty much our imagination personified that we can we can
Troy Washington:do great and greater and greater things always. No. No. I I I 100% agree, man. And that's all all about setting your attention intentions.
Troy Washington:And, you know, if I can say anything about facing fear, would be to tell yourself that fear doesn't play a role in your life anymore. Yeah. And it doesn't mean that, you know, you you going to get it, you know, immediately, but I I just, you know, just like somebody big upping you or you big upping someone else, sometimes you gotta big up yourself. Sometimes, you gotta be able to tell yourself the truth over and over again even when when it doesn't feel like it or or you know, you you don't see the big picture of what you got going on and then, I love what Jay Clay said a while ago when he said that I just tell myself I'm going to try again. Right?
Troy Washington:You know, you big up yourself. It doesn't turn out the way that you wanted to. Then just try again because eventually it will. And one last thing I I want to, you know, I want to shout out my dad real quick. One time my dad said, I think I was looking at one of his lives and he was talking about how he looks at life is just like a bunch of math problems, a bunch of equations.
Troy Washington:And he said that everything that he doesn't have, he have or everything that he wants that he hasn't been able to accomplish is just because he hasn't figured out the right math problem. And so what he does is he just goes back and plugs in different numbers, trying again until he gets the right problem. I mean, the right, you know, equation. So, you know, I like to liking to think of life that way to myself. And the reason being is because there have been plenty things that I didn't get the first time.
Troy Washington:And I changed one little thing from a one to a two or from a three to a four. And before I knew it, I was there. And so, you know, that's just, you know, a little bit I want to leave everybody with, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and most things we don't get the first time. You know? I I can't imagine how many times we tried to walk before we walk. We didn't just say, forget this.
JClay:I'm never walking again. I hate walking. Walking is the dumbest thing. You never catch me walking no more. Like, that's absurd.
JClay:You just just try again.
Troy Washington:Real talk. Real talk, man. So, you know, for everybody, I appreciate everybody joining. You know, I I always encourage, you know, hit that like, that love button, you know, just so that way we can increase our our viewership. Each one, reach one, and we'll double the size of the audience in a week.
Troy Washington:Shout out to Dee Dee for that one. And, you know, if you feel like this is helpful to you or you feel like it's helpful to someone else, please share it. You know? And other than that, Jay, you can go ahead and take us out, mate.
JClay:Yeah. Appreciate y'all again on this perfect day. And just remember, you're a perfect creation made by a perfect creator, so you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. Yeah. If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection?
JClay:Welcome to perfect tomorrow. To perfect tomorrow. Where there are no excuses, no Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Perfect.
